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EP 95 Getting Off on Chastity
Unlike many cuckolds, Jamie doesn't have a voyeuristic desire to see his wife with other men. His FLR doesn't incorporate punishment. There's nothing "typical" about this cuck and he shares how his marriage evolved to involve her sleeping with bulls and him being locked in chastity. Support this show and get bonus and exclusive content at BuyMeAcoffee.com/LeynaNguyen
So the other night she used a deep tissue massage. It's not really a vibrator because it's it's almost like a hammer drill. Right? Oh, yeah, I know what those are. Yeah, so she put that up against the cage. Right. And I last probably 90 seconds with this thing.
Get ready. This is consenting adults,
(Podcast Show Open)
The conversations you're about to hear are intended for mature audiences. If adult themes are offensive to you, well, you may want to pull out now.
So dirty talk? So sex talk. Yeah, it started off as dirty talk. I was actually like very excited to see my partner with somebody else. She looked at me and said, so you want to have sex with other people.
And you find it a turn on to hear about what he did. Yeah. And then it's like, I want to come home and get it the way she got it. Does he know you have a boyfriend? Yes. This is Consenting Adults with Leyna Nguyen
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My guest today is joining us from Switzerland. A 61 year old man married for 23 years. Jamie is a cuckold in chastity, submissive in an FLR with his wife, Julia. I'm going to repeat again. They've been married for 23 years, I think that's really important. Because Jamie, a lot of people who aren't in the lifestyle and they see this content. I can't tell you how often they're they say, Oh, well, that's a great way to end a marriage or that won't last long. And yeah, you guys have been married 23 years, and you're still married.
Yeah, I think it's a great way to make a marriage fresh again. We're like teenagers again, the last three years have been how do I say it's been fabulous. The level of communication, the level of trust, the level of excitement that you have when you're in this lifestyle. We never had that before. Even even when we started our relationship when we first met. I don't think that we could communicate as honestly as we do. Now.
Our listeners and viewers won't be able to see you but I can see you and I can say that for 60 Well, you don't look 61 You have this way about you that's very young. And I'm I'm wondering if it's this thing that you guys got going that kind of keeps you holy moly, look at that. Okay. He was just showing me his arm. Very nice. And you know what, a lot of people in the lifestyle tend to kind of take care of themselves a little better. Would you like to agree with that? Like they're Oh, attention to themselves?
Well, it's it's a funny story. It started watching Outlander. My wife fell in love with Jamie.
Oh, is that is that why?
Yes, exactly. And I said they're really really kind of 18 kilos, 35 pounds overweight. And she was oogling over this guy in this series, and oh my god, I gotta do something. Oh, within three, four. months, and I started working out and it gave me the confidence in a way to be in this lifestyle. Because I think if I didn't feel really secure about myself, and she goes off and plays with these younger fitter, stronger guys, it would be really in a way intimidating for me. So I said, Okay, I'm gonna get myself an absolute tip top shape. So I feel like I'm not inadequate. And that's never been our role as in this lifestyle that that I'm not good enough. I'm just not new enough. It's for her. It's about having this new adventure to have this new feeling this new smell this new taste this new look right. And I could never be that again. But I'm still when I'm not in chastity. She still loves to have penis and vagina sex with me. It's it's it's just not as often because I've outsourced very successfully
Haha you’ve outsourced
I’m no longer her greatest lover, I'm her greatest outsourcer
Tell me about being in chastity. Like I personally don't understand it. Like why do you do it?
Yeah, it's funny because she didn't understand it either. I read it was it was like an in flight magazine. It wasn't really a lifestyle magazine. It wasn't a porno magazine and those a journal journalist who found out about chesty belts and he was going to wear one for a couple of weeks just to see what it's like. And he was a hockey player. So he was in this locker room, and it was kind of funny and kinky. And so I bought one. And she had no idea what to do with this. And that was over 20 years ago, and so we try it, we play with it. It would go in the box for a long time, then it would come back out and go away it can and there would be 3,4,5,6 years where we didn't play with it at all. And then pandemic hit, and we really started to talk about desires and cuckolding and and it just became a tool. Now the benefit of it for me is you get to a state when you're in it long enough, where it becomes almost euphoric. Right, you you lose your I don't know. It's really It's so hard to describe. But I can almost read her mind. Right? I get so in tuned to her and her desires and her wishes that you lose this selfishness. And game this selflessness. You talked about the FLR FLR is not based on do this or you're punished do this or you're in chastity for longer do it's it's kind of I'm like current executive assistant, right. I need to know what she wants. And chastity has made me figure out before she tells me kind of what to do and how to how to make her happy how to, you know, and it goes from from cleaning, cooking, shopping, organizing, picking up the kids, whatever, you know, whatever. I try to get to a point where she doesn't have to tell me what to do.
It sounds like you're saying that being in chastity by kind of shutting off one sense or sensory thing. Like your other senses have kind of like gotten sharper?
Yeah, it gets heightened. It's heightened. It's also it's also interesting. It's always there. It's omnipresent. It's it's as if she's holding on to your penis all day long, right all day long all day long. It kind of tunes me in and focuses my attention towards not just her but in general.
Okay, that's that's interesting because you know, I've often heard, you know, men complaining that if they don't have enough sex, they're very distracted. Like they they need a release, they need the outlet, otherwise they become kind of, you know, frazzled and they can't get anything done. And what you're explaining is is kind of just
almost the exact opposite. I think that if I have
In the beginning, in the beginning, was it difficult though?
Well, the first, the first four or five days are always difficult.
It's like going on a diet. It's like no carbs.
Exactly. So you get yourself into into a zone, right? Uh huh. Huh. I think I of course, it's got to be individual for everybody. But for me, when I have an orgasm, you have this hormonal release as well. Right? And sometimes after an orgasm, you just want to be left alone or you know, the excitement is gone. And so you build up you build up you build up to the orgasm, the orgasm comes, and then it's like, time to go to sleep or time take shower. You get up and run, right? And the chastity keeps you on that edge the whole time. Right. It's like pre orgasmic right so Oh, so I can go these weeks are the longest I ever was in chastity was 50 days. And then those 50 days, you go through these cycles of euphoria or or frustration or hornyness. And when the orgasm comes, some of the release comes it's like, are you just reset the clock? Right?
Okay, I do. Okay, here's where, okay, here's where you're gonna find out how much I don't know. When you say that you're in chastity. Does it mean that you're not having sex? Or does it mean that you're not having orgasms? It can be both. It can't so it may be different for different people.
No, no for me, it's there's some times when I'm in chastity, and there's there's no sex. There's maybe there's of course, touching, teasing intimacy, right? Because I'm more focused on her. So the long, romantic kissing and touching and holding hands is amplified, it becomes our sex in a way right?
Everything else becomes Eros. Actually,
That cleaning the bathroom becomes erotic right.
Wow. Hey, you want to Are you free tomorrow night? So Jamie really good at it. But, but my question is, does chastity mean no sex or does it mean no orgasm?
No, because I can actually well, it's orgasm is probably a lot less orgasm. So the other night, she used a deep tissue massage. It's not really a vibrator because it's it's almost like a hammer drill. Right? Oh, yeah. I know what those are. Yeah. So she put that up against the cage. Right. And I last probably 90 seconds with this thing. I don't even I don't even get erect and and I'm just, it's just I'm just flowing. It. It just so gone, right? But the horniness stays there. So I get this release from the prostate fluids, right. But it's not orgasmic. What? Yeah, so it's, it's about prostate health, right? You should have an orgasm a week or release the fluids whichever way you can.
Okay, so the now we're talking about, we're talking about ejaculation. Exactly. Okay, so
you're ejaculating orgasm are two different things. Right? Right.
Right. So you're, you're ejaculating without even getting erect. Exactly. But is it pleasurable?
It's not. It's not it's it's not unpleasurable it's it's kind of fun. Cuz it's our it's, it's our play time. And I get to see a different side of my wife that you know, kind of this sweet and evil at the same time. So that's the fun part of it. It's It's an event. Oh, it's time for you to get milked. Right so
I like so that's the prostate milking, right? That I hear about right? Um, but I always thought in talking to other cucks that that prostate, milking was pleasurable. Is it just a physiological thing? That like men should be? ejaculating, right? Like it like whatever, you know? Gosh, like you should be emptying it.
Like like the wastebasket right now.
Yeah. So, okay, let me get this clear. Right. You're having fun and you're ejaculating without getting erect or not having an orgasm so there's no like that. You know what I'm talking about it
There's no rush. There's no There's but then there's no big letdown either. So you know the the
Oh, there's no high. So there's a low.
Right? Exactly. So it's this sustained level of, let's just say horniness, right? So we're engaged really intensely for the, for the time that she's milking me and the lead up to being milked and the tease that goes along with tomorrow night. I'm gonna milk you is all very exciting for me. I think it's also exciting for her. She thinks it's funny. She's like, Oh, how long are you going to last this time? This thing's hammering away and I'm just like, I leaking out. Right?(
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Because it's never happened to me. This is why I have such a hard time understanding this. So like for instance, when she's using that thing on your cage, and you say that you didn't last more than 90 seconds. So you ejaculated it felt good. It just didn't feel as good as a regular orgasm, like most people think.
Right? Exactly. So so I don't roll over and go to sleep. You know, I'm still you know, totally fit and excited. And she could probably at that time, unlock me and I would be able to get a hard on and we could play.
Oh, I see. But no, that's not going to happen. But
no, that's or that hasn't happened.
We’re gonna keep you in that cage.
Exactly. Right. So that's that's probably one of her bigger complaints with with her lovers, right is that once they orgasm is showered out the door.
So like perfect man would be great sex orgasm and then honey, go make me a sandwich.
Or just stick around a little bit. You know? To cuddle can make mess. Yeah. I will still make the sandwich
Some people. Some people are cuddlers and some aren't. Right. Right. And the thing is, and it's not just men because there are women who after it's over they'd like don't Okay, don't touch me.
No, she's like, let me she's a cuddler. So I'm a great cuddler so that's the one thing I haven't been able to outsource the cuddling the cuddling, which is nice. Right.
Wow, we just kind of jump you know. He looks like a nice guy. I talked to him. We jump right into prostate milking. Right. Let's go back and talk about your relationship. So you've been married 23 years in cuckolding for the past three years? Right pandemic really helped that whole thing we really did. Were you ever a swinger? Like did you dip your toes you know?
That's exactly how we started. We started. Probably three four, maybe five years and I'm mixing up dates into a relationship with one let's try this. You know, we're, we were very open and honest in communication about what we liked sexually. Really from the get go. I came from another marriage where it was the exact opposite, where we couldn't talk about sex. We didn't enjoy sex. We rarely had sex. You know? I cheated. She cheated. But it was you know, there was just this level of dishonesty. And this new relationship with Julia was all about honesty and trustworthiness. So we had this experience of of swinging and I think I'm an attractive guy, you know, but I always felt like I was the guy who's with this other woman that was taking one for the team.
Well, you felt that the women you were with were taking it for the team?
Yes that their husbands or husbands were so into it and so into Julia and I even had once the woman started pulling her husband's hair out of anger, right because he was so into my wife. It's like, right, but so it was it was just this mishap and getting four people a line that enjoyed each other's company just never really happened. And I saw that she was always having fun.
Right? So she's always having fun. Were you having fun?
No, because I was with another person who in my opinion didn't really want to be there.
And then it ended up you were both taking it for the team because you both weren't really enjoying.
Right, exactly. Okay, and then we're watching them and
yeah, right. It just wasn't the four way connection that I hear some swingers talk about which is very difficult to attain
it's almost impossible. So yeah, so it became well, what do we do? You know what? She's still like this, this newness of somebody else. And how is it that we can do it and we didn't know the term cuckolding. But she had gone on a business trip. And I met a guy and they didn't have sex because she didn't clear it with me first. Right? But she came back. We went for a long walk through the forest and she said, You know, I was so close. I really wanted to, and I'm like, Well, how can we recreate this? So we call up one of the guys that we were swinging with and asked if he would roleplay you know, meet her in a hotel, just the two of them. He was like, No, I don't want to be used that way. And so it was time to go online and we found a guy and she went off and and had this kind of Stranger sex in a hotel without me right. And I thought with your consent with my consent, but then I freaked out. I was using find my iPhone because it started getting late.
When you were freaking out. It was only you were concerned for her safety.
That's my side of the story. She thinks she thinks that I freaked out because I was jealous. I just didn't know how to were you. It was so new. This was the first time so it was very new. And I didn't know that I use Find My iPhone. And it showed her phone was not at the hotel. Oh, and then I was like, what was it and it was a glitch and find my iPhone.
the GPS said something went haywire. And it had her about a mile away from the hotel and I'm like, Oh, crap, you know? So like
You wanted to say fuck. Come on, You wanted to say fuck, I saw it on your lips.
Yeah, so So I called and they were just it like they were in the middle of it are probably just before she was gonna cum right. And all of a sudden the phone's ringing. Right? So she, she's, she's fucking livid. Right? And whatever story I'm gonna come up with, and she it's still to this day, one of her greatest sexual adventures ever. Right? And there's the pesky husband calling on the phone. So that didn't go well. Right. So then she tried it six months later, and that went probably even worse because I was there Oh, and why was it worse? Because I thought the guy was a jerk, right? Oh, yeah. But she loved the sex. He was he was he was phenomenal. And that almost that almost destroyed our marriage. Right? That was that was a point. Where that was an argument where it almost got below the belt. And so we put it on the shelf and stopped doing it for five years. And then we started picking it up again. We had the time to talk and to regain the trust. And I proved myself that I could handle it right and then I could enjoy it and and that's where the chastity came back in chastity was like a key to her empowerment to go ahead. I've got my locked up husband and I that gives me permission or the or the security to go play.
But you guys still have sex. The two of you. Yeah, we're probably
at what kind of once a month of kind of a husband wife traditional vanilla sex.
Okay, yeah, that's once a month. That's one and then do you do other things that you consider sex that aren't traditional?
Yep,That’s That's actually the chastity right to me. The chastity is my daily sex, right? And her acknowledgement of the chastity is her being engaged with me in this project, so to say sex is many things like sex isn't just penis and vagina. It's isn't always just a blow job. Sex is how you define it. And we've defined it in many different ways. Whether it's the occasional pegging or we have the thing she says “clean properly”. So if I'm off if I'm told to clean properly, that means I have to wear a butt plug.
Well wait when you say clean are you talking housework? Are you like the house?
Yeah. Oh, rake. Rake. Go rake the leaves properly, right.
So you rake the leaves with a butt plug in?
Yeah, I've done that. clean out the garage.
But do you do the other cleanup that cucks often do?
No, no, because we're condom only.
How about any kind of participation when you guys are with a bull? Do you just watch or do you ever participate?
I do participate. Well, we have a new guy, right? Who is very dominant. And he doesn't dominate her but he's dominating me. Oh, so I like that. I did this last time. She said are you sure you want to do this? Because it was there was a lot of text leading up to it and us like well, we don't know if I'm gonna like it or not. Let's just go with it. Right. So he texted say, when I come I'm going to put a leash on you. I want you caged the minute you're you're leashed. I want you to kiss me passionately. Right, so
He wanted you to kiss him. Him. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Are you bisexual?
Well, I guess you would consider it bisexual. I would never I would never date a man on my own out of interest for being with a man but in a sexual context. It's a human being.
So you don't have romantic feelings for men, but you'll have sexual sexual activity with them.
Yeah, like from the Outlanders I kind of liked Jamie too.
Okay, so I now have to watch the show. Gosh, darn it,
you know I needed to compete. I needed to get my body to look the same. And so I did. So this guy, he thinks I'm really sexy. And we had an amazing time.
Wait, so what did you other than just kissing him? What else did you do?
I blew him That's my wife outsourcing because she doesn't really like oral sex. So she's outsourced the blow jobs to me. Oh, okay.
So your wife will blow em but you will? Yes. Okay. You enjoy that. What else did you do?
Well, she says I'm better at it than she is. And most of the guys agree. So.
Oh, okay. What else?
Well, then he he actually fuck me in the ass. Oh, no. If I can say that. I'm not just Yeah, I just did right. And and you enjoyed that. It's it's in the beginning. It's it's uncomfortable. But then he didn't stop. And it got kind of euphoric, right. I mean, there's an awful lot of nerve endings. So it was it was it was a very, it was a very amazing feeling.
Wow, okay. Did you orgasm? No. Oh,
He didn't either. He orgasm later. It's so he was with my wife. And he cleaned up. He was with me. He cleaned up. He was then with my wife again. And then she tapped out like I tapped out. I can't I it was pretty amazing. And then and then he he masturbated himself. Right? He said, Oh, I want to I want to I want to cum in his face. And I just face in my face and I just got like these like, deer eyes like in my my wife saw that and said no, no, no, no, no. Come on his cage, right. And a guy who just lasted like 90 minutes without cumming was able to beat himself off on my cage and like 30 seconds. Wow. Which I was like, how do you do that? How do you have that much control to last that long and then shoot that quick? And then he was done and out the door?
Oh, okay. Bye. Bye. Are you gonna see him again?
More than likely Yeah. I don't see myself as homosexual or bisexual or heterosexual. I'm a cuck. I think it really has its own orientation. I'm not a voyeur. I don't get off watching my wife have sex for me. I could be in the other room. And what I like is when she does this little kind of a dance right? She gets out of bed and
She does it like that? she'd like to be when she's done. Yeah. Her happy dance.
You have a happy dance. That's right. And I love that it's just it's like, oh, that was worthwhile. I get off on her freedom.
As self-identified cuckold husband I understood what he was saying. (By the way I hate the term "cuck" and find it offensive) I know other cuckolds use it but I do not like it. We are all different.
5/13/2022 09:54:28 am
There's nothing wrong with the word "cuck." It's not a derogatory word although YOU may be offended by it. The fact that I want to understand and asked that he help me understand should be seen as something positive. Telling someone who genuinely is trying to understand that I don't need to is what turns off a lot of people to the lifestyle and makes them judge it. You also did not listen carefully as we DID talk about ejaculation and orgasm as sometimes being different things.
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