EP 93 CBT Ball-busting, SPH, and Edging

A deeper dive into CBT (cock and ball torture), also known as ball-busting, Small Penis Humiliation, Edging or orgasm control and other kinks by a young Marine whose cuckolding and femdom kinks have led him to explore other kinks. You won't believe what he does for a living!
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Guest 1:05
For showers or for sometimes for sleeping or when her and I would be intimate together. It would be allowed to be unlocked.


Leyna 1:13
Get ready. This is consenting adults,


(Podcast Show Open)


The conversations you're about to hear are intended for mature audiences. If adult themes are offensive to you, well, you might want to pull out now! 
So dirty talk? So sex talk. Yeah, it started off as dirty talk. I was actually like very excited to see my partner with somebody else. She looked at me and said, so you want to have sex with other people.
And you find it a turn on to hear about what he did. Yeah. And then it's like, I want to come home and get it the way she got it. Does he know you have a boyfriend? Yes. This is Consenting Adults with Leyna Nguyen


(End Podcast Show Open)


Leyna 1:51
My guest today is 22 year old Brian, younger than any guests I've ever had on but I'm having him on the show because he's going to be talking about some things that really no one else so far has been willing to talk about. Brian, welcome to the show. Let's tell people about you. You're 22 years old. He's a US Marine people. And he's got some kinks that you would probably say really a marine with these kinks. Oh, yeah. So I'm going to name off some of them and Brian is going to help me clarify so cuckolding. Most of us know what that is by now CBT or ballbusting femme DOM, He’s in to feet. He's into chastity, interracial race play. I didn't know that was the thing, but apparently it is SPH small penis humiliation. BDSM. Most people know that and then edging or orgasm control first of all, what is CBT? I mean ball busting. I've kind of heard but what is CBT? What does it stand for?


Guest 2:49
CBT stands for cock and ball torture.


Leyna 2:52
Oh, okay.


Guest 2:54
It's a little rough on the ears.


Leyna 2:57
It is well and not just on the ears. Apparently. Explain what it actually is. Because it sounds awful. It does.


Guest 3:06
Yeah. So basically, it could be there's a lot of different tiers to how rough you could get with it. So something as simple as like, you know, light slaps or taps to your most sensitive areas would count and it can get as extreme as you want it I suppose. I like to think that I'm somewhere in the middle. Some people just like the idea of you know, any kind of pain, however light or as hard as it is to that area and they don't actually go through with it. But basically, it just encompasses any kind of pressure, let's say applied to that area.


Leyna 3:41
Okay. How did you find out that you were into this? What happens?


Guest 3:46
That's a good question. Actually. I would consider myself a masochist. At least in this context. And I didn't realize that there even was a community of people who are into this kink. Until I saw that people on the internet were talking about it. And at first I was like, Man, that is that has got to be the most horrible thing I've ever heard of in my entire life. I could not wrap my head around it but you know, with a little bit more exposure to it. I realized that you know, maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Nothing too extreme, at least for me. Obviously everyone has their own personal preferences. But for me, I thought okay, maybe this is something I could try like a little bit. I mean, some girls like being choked, and some people like getting you know bitten, and it's not like you're drawing blood or you're really actually intentionally trying to hurt or harm this person. But it's like the idea of doing something that is normally you know, would be an aggressive act. It kind of has like the synapses in your brain start to fire off


Leyna 4:47
Okay? But you know, you sound very mature for a 22 year old not to put down every other 22 year old, but you sound very mature and you sound like you've like this isn't you like you're not such you're not just some weirdo in the basement, that there's like some thought and do you feel like you've done kind of, I don't know if soul searching is actually the word but done enough research, looking inward to see that this is something that is normal and I'm doing air quotations because I'm sure a lot of people listening are thinking this is not normal. Right. So you looked into it? Yeah,


Guest 5:26
I definitely have. Yeah, I mean, I still have a lot more to learn. And you know, things change over time. Of course. I think a lot of the people who are into this are older primarily because they've been in relationships for longer. A lot of these kinks are built on trust in a relationship. And most people my age, they haven't been in a relationship long enough to develop that kind of a partnership with the person that they're with anyone at any age. It takes a lot to be able to open up about something like this and some people just aren't even into it in the first place. I definitely looked into it and made sure that this is something that I did like and I do,


Leyna 6:01
Was there any incident like did you accidentally get hit or was a girlfriend aggressive or whatever that that made you think like, Oh, hey, that might be a turn on for me.


Guest 6:12
Yeah, I think it's weird because I think it started not because of an attraction to the idea of it, but the complete opposite. It was. I don't know if a fear is the right word. Well, anyone with common sense would obviously be afraid of this happening to them. But I think it was the fact that it was something that I didn't like for such a long time. I just thought the idea of hurting someone there is such a horrible thing. I would do anything I possibly could to avoid it. When I would hear like a joke, let's say like in school or something like that, like a girl saying if I see that guy, I'm going to kick him in the balls or something just hearing that to me. I'd be like, oh, man, I want to stay as far away from her as possible. And I don't even want to think about that. I wouldn't want to see it happen to anyone. I wouldn't want to think about it happened to anyone and I wouldn't want anyone to try to do it. To me the adversity


Leyna 6:58
It's something that turned though right. It did. Yeah,


Guest 7:02
I think someone thankfully it's never genuinely happened to me where someone was so angry at me that it resulted in that but people have threatened it playfully, not not out. of hate, but like kind of as a joke. I think I was just teasing someone and messing with them. And they said like if you do that again, then I'm gonna kick you in the balls or something like that. And like a little tiny little part of me was like, that's kind of hot and I don't know why I have no real idea why I thought that was attractive.


Leyna 7:29
Well, you know, the more people I talk to you, the more I realize sometimes there is no why. Like, sometimes you can't explain why you like something or why it turns you on. You just know that it does. Right? It's kinda like when you have a preference for for something and someone asks you why? Well, you can't explain it. You just do. Like, you know, why do some guys like girls with bigger breasts than others? They just do. There is no why. So we're not going to try to find out why. Let's try to find out what so you've been in a relationship for four years, which by the way at your age is a very long time. I'm assuming that your girlfriend knows about these kinks. Is she into it as well?


Guest 8:12
She definitely does know about it. She wasn't into it when I first met her. And I didn't find this relationship because of these kinks. But over time, I would tell her that I was interested in these things, you know, naturally At first, she was like, Wow, are you? Are you sure that this is something that you like? And I wasn't surprised that that was a reaction when I was like yeah, you know, I can't help it. It is what it is. I'm not saying that this is something that we have to participate in. But I think that you should know that I do have these preferences and these fantasies. And so she said, Well, if it's something that you like, then it's something that we should at least try and if it works for the two of us, and it does, I'm very thankful that she was so open about it. Because I was expected you know most people that's going to be a pretty hard thing to grasp. With your partner that they would want you to hurt them or you know, humiliate them or do anything off color or mean to them. But I explained it to her, and I let her know that it wasn't. It wasn't that I wanted her to hate me. It was if anything, it'd be her showing love to me and showing how dedicated she is to me that she would be willing to explore these things. And if she didn't like it, then we wouldn't do it. I'm not I wouldn't force her to do anything that she wouldn't want to do. And she likes it because she did it with me and she realized that there was kind of a power play that you get, you get to have like power and dominance over another person. And she didn't realize that that was something that she liked until she did it with me. So that was pretty interesting.


Leyna 9:41
Like I found two young people who said both sound very mature and very caring at at such a young age and exploring things that I know even you know, 40-50 year olds are kind of uncomfortable with. I'm sure there are men grappling with this God that turns me on but is like, am I normal? And once you stop trying to figure out if you're normal, right right, then you're able to explore the things that that actually bring you joy, and clearly isn't for everybody. So can you tell me like some of the things that you guys do that kind of you know, fulfills this kink that you have and what does he do? She does she smack you a little bit down there


Guest 10:27
Definitely is a little bit of that it it ties in to a lot of the other kinks. I think it's like a good topping. It's like a nice flavor. It's the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae that is all these other kinks together. So, you know if I was in chastity, and she was talking to me about her being with someone that wasn't me and teasing me about the idea that she could find someone who's better than me or more well endowed or whatever. Then while she does that, she could be giving me some taps down there and say just as just to add to the humiliation aspect, right?


Leyna 11:03
Like like the spice like you just putting salt on it. Exact Exactly. Brian You better watch your sodium intake. Okay, I you know, the thing is I get it because I've talked to so many people who kind of tell me the same thing that it's it's just something that that turns them on and wow, you found a partner who's willing to explore it with you. So okay, we've kind of covered ballbusting I can tell that the kind of bigger umbrella is the cuckolding, right? Absolutely. Yeah, I get when did you realize that? That that's a thing for you?


Guest 11:41
That would probably have been my last relationship or I guess it wasn't taking my last relationship. It was one of the relationships that I had. It was a pretty short relationship didn't end up working out for mutual reasons. But in that relationship, we took a break and we said that we would try doing an open relationship kind of deal. We both agreed on it. It was open for her side and it was open for my side. I was too busy to really do anything with anyone else. And that didn't bother me because I had my own stuff to worry about. But I was aware of that she was doing things with other people. And there wasn't a cuckold context to it. It was just we're allowed to be with other people who want to nothing really romantic, just physical stuff. And I realized that I liked the idea. I really got turned on by the idea of her being with someone else. And I wanted to just keep asking about what it was like and what they did and if they did anything that her and I hadn't done together. And just the idea of, of sharing. My partner was something that was really attractive to me.


Leyna 12:45
And not to be stereotypical of Marines, but can I ask you kind of what your personality is like outside of the bedroom? Are you a pretty you know, I don't know what term you want to use. But are you more Alpha like no one would you know what I'm trying to ask you?


Guest 13:01
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I would say that if you were talking to me at work, or even just even when I was a civilian before I enlisted, you would not have at all thought that this is something that I would have been interested in. I'll make jokes that could maybe hint at it with the right people. But just the average person and especially all the people that I work with, there's absolutely no way that they know that I'm into this.


Leyna 13:24
right. Okay. We do have a question from someone on YouTube asking what's your chastity schedule is it just a once in a while or something that that is more daily or weekly driven?


Guest 13:35
It used to be a lot more often than it is now. I'm not in the states anymore, because I'm on deployment. So it's a little bit harder to manage that overseas and it's a bit harder for me to conceal the chastity because of the clothes that I will have to wear for when we do PT for example, the shorts are pretty short, and they're pretty tight. And that clinking clinking of the little lock on it would be a little tough to conceal. I know I could use tape but sometimes the stuff that we do is pretty physically demanding. So it'd be it'd be pretty hard for me to to do that. So unfortunately, I'm not able to do it as much now as I used to but when I was a civilian and when I was stationed in California still so I could go home. It was pretty much a daily thing. Where at for showers or for sometimes for sleeping or when her and I would be intimate together, I would be allowed to be unlocked. And then sometimes we'd take a week long break where I would not be submissive in the relationship anymore. We kind of switch over and I would be dominant.


Leyna 14:39
So you're also into femme Dom Which I can like we can already see how that that fits right. You have a thing for feet too.


Guest 14:48
Absolutely. Yeah. Kind of the idea that that's a part of the body that most people would just skip over and they'd go right for the goods right for the meat and the potatoes. But if you were to be locked in chastity and your partner was to be sleeping with someone else and the only thing that you could see or that you could be used for your physical pleasure was the feet. Then that adds into like you're in






Guest 17:19
good enough for this. Someone else gets this and all you get is my feet


Leyna 17:23
Wow. So what do you do with the feet?


Guest 17:27
Um, pretty much anything it could be something as simple as just you know, massaging them I'll give my girlfriend massages usually just over her body just to like pamper her clean her up and and help her with with whatever it is that she needs. If she wants to put lotion on or something. I like the feedback that I get of seeing that she's happy even if it's not necessarily sexual, just, you know, any kind of physical pleasure just it feels good to get a massage feels good to be clean and to be you know, lotioned up or whatever. And then that applies to the feet as well. But if we're doing things in, in the bedroom in an intimate context, then I just kissed them my massage them I can, you know, flick them and she can use her feet to tease me by like you know, giving me light kicks in that area. Or just you know, putting her feet on my face and stuff like that.


Leyna 18:24
Have you ever been like actually hurt like, Oh, that wasn't good hurt.


Guest 18:29
Yeah, I have it was an accident. It was one stomp. I was laying down on my back and then she she gave a kick that was a little it just hit the right spot, the right angle and it was the right amount of force to do a little bit of damage. She was a little bit more scared than I was. I mean I was in pain. But at the same time there was still that part of my mind. The little inner masochist me that was like you know I kind of I liked that I liked the idea of it and the pain pleasure response was was nice. It was still painful enough to the point where I was obviously having like a physical response. I was like, okay, hold on a second. I gotta get my bearing back here. But she was really worried for me. She was like, Oh my gosh, are you hurt we got to take you to the hospital. I was like,


Leyna 19:14
Boy, how do you explain that one?


Guest 19:16
Well, exactly.


Leyna 19:19
Do you build tolerance then? Because I've talked to other people who are really into the BDSM stuff and you know it went from a few lashings. You know, the flogging but then becomes like leaving marks and so have you had like, progress in the pain tolerance or anything?


Guest 19:39
Absolutely. I think it's similar to like spice and your food, or like working out in the gym. You know the first time you ever run three miles in your life is pretty tough. But if you run three miles often, then three miles is not so much you can run five miles and then five miles becomes nothing you can run faster than that or the first time you ever have hot sauce. You can be like, Oh man, that's actually pretty spicy. But then, you know you eat those Korean spicy noodles. And then you keep eating those every week and eventually, you know, you're eating whatever you want to and it's not even a problem. Right? So I'd say it's just like that, you know, you build your spice tolerance, you build your any kind of mental or physical tolerance. It applies just like that.


Leyna 20:20
Right? But is there also the Okay, so like, I love spicy food, but then sometimes when I get together with my other friends who also likes spicy food, it becomes like a contest where you become you're actually really proud that you're able to eat the spiciest pepper. Do you ever do you have that? Do you have that? That I I can really take it?


Guest 20:45
I absolutely do. There's there's that part of me whether people see that or not. I still like knowing just for myself that I can do it. Whenever I go out and I eat food, my friends. I will always have the spiciest dish there and if someone else thinks that they're going to eat food spicier than me, I'll be like, alright, pass the hot sauce because I'll show you what spicy right and it's kind of the same thing with with the kinks is I don't in person and especially at work. I don't really talk about that kind of stuff with anyone but there's still the part inside of me that knows like, I can do this and you wouldn't be able to so that kind of makes me feel feel good. Like yeah, I'm I'm able to go through with that and not only survive, but like I can actually enjoy it and have a good time.


Leyna 21:28
Right. So like, like if you and I were captured, and they were going to start kicking us in the balls. I'd actually get turned on. You would hurt


Guest 21:38
Yeah, exactly. I have higher survivability for technical reasons.


Leyna 21:42
Right. Okay. Well, we're just look, we're just getting through these. We've talked about chastity. Let's talk about the interracial race play. What ethnicity are you?


Guest 21:52
I am half Asian. And then I'm also Latino. And I'm white. Oh,


Leyna 21:57
okay. Oh, that sounds like a very nice mix. And what is your girlfriend?


Guest 22:02
She is half white and half Middle Eastern. Oh, well, you


Leyna 22:05
guys are just like you're getting, you're getting them all covered.


Guest 22:08
Like the United Nations


Leyna 22:12
So what is this interracial race play thing? Like explain? Explain why it's a kink for you.


Guest 22:18
For me, it's mostly the contrasting skin color between dark skin and lighter skin. I just think that just literally just from an aesthetic standpoint, I think that is pleasing to the eye. I'm not exactly sure why that is. But I've always thought that one dark skinned person and one light skinned person, it doesn't matter who is which one is which I've always thought that that's pleasing to the eye. And if I'm seeing two people together I just have a preference for one of them being darker and one of them being lighter. In this case, my girlfriend being quite light skinned, I would want a darker skinned man to be with her. And that kind of led me into the whole queen of spades thing.


Leyna 23:03
So I am assuming then you have participated in the whole, you know, cuckolding thing where your girlfriend is with a Black Bull?


Guest 23:12
Yeah, not nothing where we've been together in person oh three of us. But she's she's gone out and she's you know, met some people outside and then she shares the messages or pictures and stuff like that with me. And that stuff really excites me. 


Leyna 23:30
Or the stories right? Right. Exactly. She ever take video?


Guest 23:37
No no videos or anything like that yet. There has been a lot of like flirting and there has been some physical stuff but no actual like penetration yet but if that when that does happen, then there will definitely be videos and she would prefer for me to be there in person. So I think she's she's waiting for me to get back home. Before we do that.


Leyna 23:53
I see. And don't you ever want to be with someone else?


Guest 23:58
For me? For myself? Yeah. I'm


Leyna 24:01
Like, I don't know where you are. But don't you find any dark skinned people you have a lot of girls that you want to be with.


Guest 24:06
There are a lot of attractive girls out here. And you know a lot of my friends who are single especially in this line of work, there's a lot of a lot of hooking up that goes on. So, but for me personally, I don't think I could ever find someone who's even as close to as good as my girlfriend is. So it doesn't even show up. I can appreciate from a distance how attractive another girl may be, but I know that she's not my girlfriend. And I don't think I ever will find someone who's close to how perfect she is. So I'm incredibly blessed.


Leyna 24:42
But it's not about replacing your girlfriend right so you're in a different country. You're not going to be able to have sex with your girlfriend, don't you ever have the desire to sleep with somebody? That might be a yes. That might be Brian.


Guest 25:03
I definitely have the desire to do something physical but to me, it's hotter to not be able to do it and I guess that ties into the orgasm control and the edging, which is that it's hotter for me to not be able to have sex than it is to be able to have sex because I like building up that tension and they I guess they call it like blue balls or whatever. But I love that feeling to me. I'm addicted to the feeling of like I want to do something but I can't do it.


Leyna 25:31
I think you're addicted to something with the balls because you're like all over them.


Guest 25:35
A lot of Yeah, yeah. Something about that.


Leyna 25:40
That leads us into the next couple of things that you say you're into SPH 40 episodes ago, I wouldn't have known what it was but small penis humiliation. And that very often goes hand in hand with cuckolding. But that is something that turns you on as well.


Guest 26:00
Yes, absolutely.


Leyna 26:03
Okay. So let's not talk about porn because porn is so not reality. Right? Right. You know, you've often been in showers and you've seen other men. How are you size wise compared to most men?


Guest 26:17
I would definitely say that I'm average. I'm nothing like where someone would see me and be like, Oh, he's he's tiny. But at the same time no one would ever have anything to say about me being huge. Either I say I'm just right about or average is literally average.


Leyna 26:34
Okay, which probably like is the majority of men which is why they call it average so then how does this mean then that your girlfriend's gonna have to find someone who's a lot bigger to be able to fulfill that kink of yours.


Guest 26:55
Yeah, definitely think one thing that would help though, is, you know, when you're in chastity, it prevents you from getting hard in the first place. So I'm definitely a grower, not a shower. So me being soft could definitely help with like the visual comparison between me and whoever the bull would be. And there are a lot of people out there who are above average, so it wouldn't, it's not as hard. And I don't know if the stereotypes are necessarily necessarily true or not because again, like you said, porn is not reality. So there is the whole like BBC concept and I haven't seen enough black penises I guess yet in person to say whether or not that's true, but if it is, then you know, that it'd be an easy place to look, I suppose.


Leyna 27:46
I would say most of us have not seen small ones, right? Because if you've seen them, it's probably been because of porn or, you know, naughty Twitter, which is porn. Okay, that moves us into the next kink that you kind of started talking about and that is edging or orgasm control. How do you practice that?


Guest 28:10
Basically, it's getting yourself as close as possible to finishing, and then not actually finishing and then just kind of right, you could just ride out not ever finishing or in one single session, let's say you could get close to finishing and then kind of cool off and then get close to finishing and then cool off. Or get close to finishing and then maintain where you are so that you just are right at the edge of release but not actually releasing. And you know, some people at the end they do get their release. Some people don't. And then some people don't and they get put in Chastity


Leyna 28:46
Oh, well that's that's kind of hardcore. Right?


Guest 28:50
Yeah, absolutely. That is my that's my my preferred way. Either. I stay in chastity and I get edged or I get released from chastity. I get edged for however long and then without being a real diminish. Again Yep.


Leyna 29:05
Do you think you could be in a relationship where like your girlfriend wouldn't be into this, like before you said you could. But the more you get into it, do you think you could actually be in a relationship with someone who's not into it?


Guest 29:23
I do. If if my girlfriend was to tell me that she is no longer comfortable with it, which I can't see that happening. But if that was the case, just to entertain the idea of it. I do think that I'd be able to do it. It's it's more important that I have a healthy relationship at the end. of the day than me pleasing myself through these fantasies. At the end of the day, if a fantasy just remains that a fantasy


Leyna 29:49
I might be in love


Guest 29:51
is difficult, but so


Leyna 29:52
mature, it's so awesome. You're heterosexual Have you ever thought and I'm sure you've seen it in in cuckold in porn, like do you ever see yourself in a situation where you're interacting with the bull?


Guest 30:06
Not me pleasing the bowl in in like an overtly sexual way so I would probably not do anything or no I definitely wouldn't. I've thought about the idea of it and I've written about it because I used to write erotic fiction for other people. And so I can understand the attraction to it, but I can't, I can't bring myself to really be attracted to doing it. I definitely get how it goes hand in hand with the kink but for me personally, I couldn't do it I don't think 


Leyna 30:36
Would then I'm assuming you wouldn't ever do the cuckold cleanup. 


Guest 30:40
That I would I would do which I know may seem ironic. I just won't put a penis inside of any part of me. That's basically like my limit. 


Leyna 30:50
How about your hand? Oh, I hear wiggle room. 


Guest 30:58
If if my girlfriend really wanted me to and in the right situation. I could wrap my head around doing that. But it would have to be for her it have to be because she wants me to do it. 


Leyna 31:10
You’re such a good interview. You just I love it. 


Guest 31:14
Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm so happy to be on your show because I've watched every single episode that you came out with on YouTube. On YouTube. Yeah. And honestly, your karaoke streams. Those are my favorite actually of everything.


And you can check out my YouTube channel it’s YouTube.com/leynanguyentv.
Ok next time on consenting adults—-I try to get to the bottom of the the most popular fetish for men.


Guest:  You can obviously suck on toes and everything. During sex I enjoy putting feet on my face sometimes. Just, you can feel soft padding, it’s just a turn on.
Leyna: That’s next time, on Consenting Adults.