EP 72 Sexy Switch Shares Girlfriends

​What's a switch?  It's someone who can be either dominant or submissive in a sex scene, and our guest says he can fulfill most roles.  A body builder turned real estate agent has an alter ego his customers don't know about. "Miles Hammer" talks about bisexuality in body-building, his early introduction to non-monogamy, and how he's open to most things, sexually...from sensual to rape fantasy both as the dom and sub.
Find him on Twitter @MileHighHammer
​Support this show and get bonus and exclusive content at BuyMeAcoffee.com/LeynaNguyen

EP 72 Sexy Switch Shares Girlfriends
​
Transcription:
​Leyna 0:00
Are there a lot of bisexual men in bodybuilding?

Guest 0:03
I think there are a lot more than immediately let on

Leyna 0:08
Now how does she feel about you being bisexual? Is it honey, you're free to do whatever you want or is it Hey, that turns her on to

Guest 0:17
it turns her on as well. Blood play.

Leyna 0:20
Oh, wait a second.

Guest 0:22
Oh yeah, that's a thing. Very open was asked play. I have a foot fetish sensual to rape fantasy

Leyna 0:34
Being the being the rapist.

Guest 0:36
Oh either.

Leyna 0:37
Oh either. Okay. And have you ever been harmed in the process?

Guest 0:42
Oh, yes. Definitely been made to hesitate before sitting down for a couple days after.

Leyna 0:51
Get ready. This is consenting adults.

(Podcast Show Open)

Leyna 1:30
Hi everybody. Today is my birthday. And you can help me celebrate by doing one of several things. You can leave me a nice rating and review on Apple podcast. I really appreciate that. You can also go to buymeacoffee.com/leynaNguyen show support for the show. I don't know maybe buy me a coffee. You can also go to our website consentingadultsshow.com. For details on how to enter our free giveaway for December. I'm giving away the performance package 4.0 from manscaped you've heard me talking about it on this program. This prize is worth about $300 It's really amazing. Find out all about it by going to consenting adults show.com My guest today is 34 year old Miles Hammer from Denver, Colorado, and he tells me that he's been in the lifestyle since sharing a girlfriend in high school. And the way he lives his life today is that he's in right now an open relationship with a woman and he says he can fulfill most roles without really trying. What the heck does that mean Miles?

Guest 2:40
within the extra dynamics of a relationship that can be playing the bull or a hot wife or a cuckold couple that can be just being the extra being brought in? Whether or not I'm the focus of attention or one of the other pieces of the couple is. Group situations are fun. And obviously like you said, Having started by sharing partner I've been on both sides of that as well. And so I understand the different roles and dynamics and all elements that can come along with that.

Leyna 3:16
Okay, let's go back to high school, shall we? Sure. What do you mean you started sharing a girlfriend? Yeah,

Guest 3:22
I just had a drunken night one time not that we ever drinking High School. drunken night and one of my good buddies and I kind of brought it up almost in passing as a joke. And she seemed very receptive to it. So we just kind of went from there.

Leyna 3:44
Okay, but was this because you know, a lot of young people do you know, silly young people things did it continue?

Guest 3:51
Did Yeah. So both with the girlfriend at the time, and then also with a friend when he would get a girlfriend or some of his playmates in high school, if you will. He would occasionally get together on those as well.

Leyna 4:09
Now were these all MFM's are, is there any interaction between you and the guy

Guest 4:16
there was a little bit of incidental touching at this point with that friend though or wasn't that comfortability, we were both on the football team together. So there's just kind of that stigma I guess.

Leyna 4:30
Sure. So you're bisexual? Yes. Back then. Did you have those feelings and then just didn't act upon them because you know, you were on the football team and you're expected to be a certain way?

Guest 4:42
Yes, or at least maintaining that image publicly. I had played around with guys as early as back in middle school. So I was aware of the interest and I wasn't necessarily denying it myself.

Leyna 5:00
At what point in your life did you were you okay with with being bisexual?

Guest 5:05
After high school, I will say disconnecting from football and then transitioning into bodybuilding. When there's a lot more exposure to pretty much naked men. That looks great. And so that obviously fueled the interest more than I allowed myself to in high school, and then also just not being on the football team anymore. There wasn't that hyper macho pressure.

Leyna 5:32
Are there a lot of bisexual men in bodybuilding?

Guest 5:35
I think there are a lot more than immediately let on so there is an element that has been around at least since the 90s that I'm aware of called gay for pay, which is bodybuilders that wouldn't necessarily associate themselves as bisexual or homosexual getting into adult films just as a way to pay the bills for a lot of them bodybuilding is an expensive sport. A lot of people don't have the means to do it as a hobby and it doesn't pay well for most as a professional. But what I think bodybuilding did for a lot of people that had interest and maybe weren't allowing themselves to explore express it is that you're just exposed to again, so many people just in the gym or backstage or throughout the diet process. You're looking at other mostly naked men, you know, comparing and appreciating and aesthetically enveloping yourself in the male physique and so for a lot of people, I think it just opens up whatever interests was already there.


Leyna 6:40
You're talking about the gay for pay. Do you think that most of the men who did that actually had some kind of tendencies?

Guest 6:46
So that's a hard question to answer because I think a lot of people have a problem in answering or identifying with their sexuality fully publicly. And I think that's why the whole term gay for pay comes up is because it's a word not gay, but I'm doing it for money, while at the same time if you're really that, interested in that and attracted, getting an erection and climaxing could also be fairly difficult. So the fact that you're doing in a few minutes kind of argues that there are some tendencies whether or not they're open and public about it is a different story.

Leyna 7:21
So then let's talk about your personal life. You know, in high school, you found this thing where you know, it was kind of fun to share a girlfriend, whether it's your girlfriend or someone else's girlfriend, did that continue then into your adult life?

Guest 7:34
Yeah, pretty much since high school has always had some form of online presence within the lifestyle FetLife account or something of that nature or other friends that were into it?

Leyna 7:49
How did you find people like did you find girlfriends who were were they always okay with being shared? Or did you have to look for people who were specifically in the lifestyle?

Guest 8:00
It's been a combination. Like for example, that first one was just a high school girlfriend happened upon it, asked him a circumstance and he found out she was okay with it. I was married previously, my ex wife had come from a marriage where they were very repressed sexually and she didn't feel that Monogamy was natural after that. So that worked. out well. For the most part, it's been a coincidental finding someone who's okay with it, that I didn't find to represent the lifestyle.

Leyna 8:34
So then you're saying that the relationships you had were just people you met, what we would call organically who happened to be open to the lifestyle, right? Correct. Yeah. And then it kind of progressed to something else because what what do you do right now, like for a living,

Guest 8:51
or I'm in real estate?

Leyna 8:52
Oh, you're in real estate. Do you do anything? Like, do you get any kind of compensation for anything that is sexual?

Guest 9:00
I see. I've got a Pornhub account. I've got an only fans. I am in the process of switching the Pornhub from amateur to an actual porn star. So name has been trademarked. A lot of how I got into public exposure was more just exhibitionism. And then I've had enough people ask you have multi fans, can I buy more to make content that I just figured

Leyna 9:32
what the heck? What the

Guest 9:33
heck who figured they get paid for something? I enjoy doing anyway? Why not?

Leyna 9:36
Okay, does this affect like your your, you know, your real life as a real estate agent?

Guest 9:44
Good. I've been very conscious of keeping my alter ego and stage name and everything. associated with the adult industry and swinging lifestyle separate from my legal name and everything that I do professionally there.

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Guest 10:47
That being said some of the social media accounts like Facebook or Instagram there has been some crossover and some bleed over to where people are seeing both bisexuality aside I've always been very open in what I thought and not very concerned with public opinion. I've been very outspoken pretty much my whole life. So anyone that sees it.

Leyna 11:10
Hey, somewhere, right? They found it somehow Right?

Guest 11:13
Exactly. So yeah, so it's gonna be one of those. You can either ask me about it or you can watch from afar but I'm not ashamed of who sees it.

Leyna 11:23
So then you're you're pretty much out there. Yes. You're now in an open relationship with a woman describe the the arrangement that you have.

Guest 11:33
I know everyone has their different terms for everything. The best way to describe it is open relationship, as opposed to like a polyamorous in that she has no interest in any other emotional connection to anyone. I have no interested in fulfilling any other kind of girlfriend or full time relationship either. It's just more or less between being insatiable and just liking variety and being bisexual and obviously she only has a certain set of parts not restricting each other sexually is very what we feel healthy and natural.

Leyna 12:15
Do you play together or separately always, or

Guest 12:17
Together occasionally. There have been there a couple mutual friends that we've met in certain scenarios have stumbled into those. We're not against it. And at the same time, a lot of it is just kind of circumstantial or situational stuff that will happen into

Leyna 12:41
Independence. You kind of don't identify as Swingers, because you don't always play together. Right? correctly. I

Guest 12:43
think there are people that always played together and again, I know everyone has a different varying level of what their definition is. But in terms of swinging versus open play, we'll do both and we’re more towards open and independent rather than together.

Leyna 13:02
Now how does she feel about you being bisexual? Is it honey, you're free to do whatever you want? Or is it Hey, that turns her on to



Guest 13:10
it turns her on as well. Originally, it was just saying you're free to do what you want to do. So she was bisexual as well had a girlfriend. After marriage in she had threesomes with her ex but it was all FFM and he was a very against other men. So she just it was kind of one of those things that never entered her mind too much outside of maybe what she saw online, but then seeing it in person the first time. She enjoyed it a lot more than she thought she would.

Leyna 13:41
How about you? Do you enjoy watching her with other people?

Guest 13:43
Absolutely.

Leyna 13:44
Okay, so that's a turn on for you to Oh yeah. Whether it's male or female she's with Oh, yeah, absolutely. Do you guys do the group stuff?

Guest 13:50
Yes. Yeah.

Leyna 13:52
Now you've mentioned FetLife before and that is something that I recently found out about and saw and there's some kinky stuff on there. It's not really the lifestyle stuff that I had been hearing about. It's not the ethical non monogamy stuff. I mean, it's BDSM and a bunch of other crazy stuff. Right. So are you into that other stuff?

Guest 14:16
Yeah. So So I think that the I broadly use the term lifestyle. I think there are a few different elements to it. I think that there's more of the photography in terms of websites like the Kasidie where it's more just ethical non monogamy, whereas FetLife gets into as the name would suggest all the different fetishes within the sex world as well. So it does have classifications in there such as open relationship relationship polyamorous and then it also breaks down whatever kinks and fetishes and sexual interests and maybe into as well

Leyna 14:56
and what kind of stuff are you into?

Guest 14:58
The easier question might be what I'm not yeah so I don't enjoy. Toilet play really? or extreme pain, blood play.

Leyna 15:10
Oh, wait a second.

Guest 15:11
Oh, yeah. That's a thing. Ah,

Leyna 15:14
I can't believe I'm going to ask. Explain that to me. What is blood play?

Guest 15:18
It is that it is what it sounds like within a session. One will be the cutter one will be the Cuddy and you will actually draw blood and use it as an accessory like other people might chocolate sauce or whipped cream? Oh, yes. So that is not my you're not into that. No, no. Not my team and also the you know, the whole pooh play. Yeah, no, not my thing either.

Leyna 15:53
Now, I'm not even going to ask you about

Guest 15:55
Now outside. Of that. Very open love ass play. I have a foot fetish to be anything from sensual to rape fantasy

Leyna 16:13
being the being the rapist. Oh, either. Oh either. Okay.

Guest 16:15
Yeah, I switched as well. So I will say that for the majority of the time that I'm with women, I will be more than the DOM and they will be more submissive. situationally that'll switch and then I'm much more versatile with guys depending on the situation. Okay, but I do like to be used just as hard as I like to use.

Leyna 16:37
Okay. Now when when people say that, I'm not really sure I understand what that means. When you say I love to be used. What are you talking about?

Guest 16:49
When you're in a relationship? For the most part, sex is emotional as well as physical there's a connection. You're looking to make the other person feel good as you are also looking to feel better. At least I would hope some of the fetish or BDSM play it is purely sexual. There's no emotion there's almost an anti emotional sentiment to it to where there's a complete disregard for feelings disregard for, in some scenarios, the victim or the subject. is complete disregard for their own well being or comfort. Sorry, join us almost like a carnal sadistic. I'm just using you for pure sexual pleasure and if you're harmed in the process, oh well. To a degree.

Leyna 17:47
And have you ever been harmed in the process?

Guest 18:01
Toby is definitely been made to hesitate before sitting down for a couple days after a couple of times.

Leyna 17:57
But he says with a smile. Oh, it's always good. Oh, all right. So um, wow. Okay. You know, when we were preparing for this video interview, I had to tell Miles to wear clothes. So you're an exhibitionist. And that's kind of always been that way right?

Guest 18:19
Oh, yeah. I streaked through my apartment complex. And I was in elementary school. I mean, I've always been naked.

Leyna 18:28
So you really enjoy being naked. In fact, when we tell our listeners where to find you, I must also include a warning. You know how some people you can get on their Twitter and once you start scrolling, you can start seeing kind of maybe some nasty stuff. No, no, no, no. With Miles, Bam. So when you check him out, make sure you're in a safe environment, because it's literally all just hanging out there. Yes. So we made him where he said we made him wear something so he's got a little something a little tank top on, but just as a treat for the people who will be watching this when it comes out in video. Are you still in bodybuilding?

Guest 19:14
No I like to keep in shape that I haven't done a competition in about seven years.

Leyna 19:17
Oh, wow. Okay. Okay, let's see them guns. Let’s see’em, they're nice. Miles. Thanks so much for talking to us. I really appreciate that good luck and everything you do and for people who want to find you outside of Twitter, all they have to do is look up Mile High Hammer, right?

Guest 19:40
Mile High hammer or miles hammer between the two you'll find pretty much everywhere.

Leyna 19:45
You'll find it all. Okay, that's Mile High. hammer on Twitter, and I shall not be responsible for what you see. All right, next time on consenting adults, newbies in the lifestyle quickly learned some lessons about jealousy and communication.

Guest 20:06
I was able to explain without being a jerk. That I really enjoy hearing the details. And then we also didn't have a lot of boundaries at the beginning. I think after that first one, or maybe the second one was like, Okay, we need to we really need to iron this out.

Leyna 20:20
Oh, okay, tell me about the second part. That's on the next consenting adults.