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A woman is introduced to the lifestyle by a boyfriend but after they break up, she stays in as a unicorn. She likes to hook up with couples, some of them just traveling through California and she requires the female to want bisexual play. Natalia talks about what draws her to couples.
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EP 58 – How I Became a Unicorn and How to Attract one
You're a DTF couple right, right, you didn't. You didn't need the whole building of a friendship thing you, you wanted to find other sexy people to sleep with. Right. We were very straight to the point. So you enjoy anal. Yes, absolutely. Oh that's a, that's that's a, that's a big yes. I mean we're talking about orgasm. How lonely, she was just a beautiful woman right, and I saw my boyfriend pleasing her and how this is so turned off. Is there something about older couples that attracted you or, or do you find that there are just more older couples who are that open in their marriages, older couples are a lot more solid in their marriage in their relationships with the women in these relationships by sexual. Yes, that was one of my requirements.
There are just some women who are in it to just to be pleased. Great. Are you okay with that. Absolutely. I'm okay with that. You were doing a DP with this machine. That's correct. It's probably one of the best orgasms and toys that you can probably have around. A lot of women are really afraid of it. So let's get to it.
(Podcast Show Open)
Leyna: My guest today is a 47 year old paralegal from Los Angeles. She is what is known to the lifestyle as a unicorn. What, like everyone has a toughest time finding a unicorn. And I found one, yeah. Oh, welcome to the show I cannot wait to talk to you about how you found this-- so you're 47 years old, you're a mom, you've got three sons, you're like otherwise a perfectly what they say normal person, Right?
Guest: right, quote unquote, correct.
Leyna: So, how did you get into the lifestyle?
Guest: I bump into the lifestyle I think like many of us do. Someone introduced them to it and that was my ex and that was Chris. We met in a vanilla setting. We dated for about three months before he even shared with me his own experience within the lifestyle, what kind of experience did he have I actually watched this lifestyle report on Dateline or something of that sort that I shared with him, I said you know I just, I just heard about the Dateline series and it was really funny, you know what, this quote was just kind of stood out to me and it stated a couple of plays together stays together. So I, I just commented that on him. So the next day that we went out, he said to me, Listen, I really need to talk to you have a dream. Sit down. This is going to be probably really hard for you to take in. And I said okay, what's going on. Are you gay Are you bi What are you married.
I mean it was just the he was building it up really bad to the point that my mind was just going on and on and thinking worse. So we get to his place and he says to me, I've been a swinger since I was 20 years old home, his whole life, his whole love life. I said okay, tell me more, he says, and there is an upcoming party that I'd like to introduce you to. And I said okay he says it's always been my lifestyle. This is why I've never got married and this is why I don't have any children, because this is what I prefer in my life, and I said okay.
Leyna: So so far nothing turns you off about it.
Guest: Right, right. I've always been very curious so I've also been very open about my sexuality I think I've never dated women but I was always very comfortable to be around them, and to just be around the whole sexiness of it, you know, and not that I'm saying that men are not sexy, of course we're all very sexy but women we have something so soft and beautiful about, you know ourselves that it's always been very welcoming to me.
Leyna: Have you ever had sex with a woman?
Guest: Yes I have prior to knowing Chirs I was married, and within my marriage. I did have threesomes, so it was either another man, or another woman and that was always just a very natural and beautiful thing but before that I had no idea about the lifestyle
Leyna: But as far as you felt at the time and maybe now looking back, it really wasn't lifestyle, it was just you and your husband enjoyed threesomes with other people,
Guest: right, right, exactly. It was just accepting other people into our circle you know and just that but I did not know about all of the I guess you could say behind the curtain number three, and everything that it exposes you to until I met Chris.
Leyna: Okay, so the new boyfriend, brings you to a sex party.
Guest: Yeah, correct. and I had a great time.
I really embraced it all, it was just a very natural open. Everyone's very, very polite, very cordial. Is this a house party. Yes, this was a house party so the very first party I went was in Orange County, and a lot of that activity is certainly out there in the, the OC as they say.
Leyna: That's what I'm hearing, there are a lot of like kinky freaky people in OC.
Guest: there certainly is. And so what they did this particular couple, they would, they had timeshare. And so within the timeshare, they would have these events. And this particular couple Chris already had a relationship with them for many years, and she was at one time, and at one point a boyfriend of hers. I mean they even traveled together so it was a lot of these people that I've met. I've traveled with them already, but not to go fast forward, but we've established a great relationship, probably some of the most honest and genuine souls that I've ever met Chris wanted me to see what I was comfortable with, and what were you comfortable with initially was certainly very comfortable with both of us having sex in front of everyone. And then came the, the couple that he had always played with. And I was fine with it and I think he was a lot more nervous of how I was going to react and I, he wasn't really comfortable with the whole setting because he was so concerned about me, and which I was just all in, you're like hey I'm home. That's exactly how I accepted it all and I certainly found out you know very quickly, everyone's roles and a lot of couples certainly you know one, they don't want to kiss they don't want you to do this, they don't want you to do that. And I certainly started the learning of what turned me on a lot more after that party.
Leyna: I want to get to what turns you on, but I want to know what happened at that party so you're with this couple,
Guest: right, and she is absolutely vocal, I mean we're talking about orgasms, howling…she was just a beautiful woman right, and I saw my boyfriend pleasing her and I was just so turned on.
When I saw the whole interaction of just sees beautiful bodies just coming together and intertwining and just sharing these moments of orgasms and deep connections. That is what I learned that I was absolutely turned on at the fact to watch my boyfriend please another woman,
Leyna: but did you just watch it or what did you do that day?
Guest: she was not very comfortable with girl, and girl play. So I then just started interacting with her husband, and as I'm watching both of them interact, he's very muscular.
So, he would just do all these gymnastic moves ride roll women, so it was just to watch to that whole interaction, it was like Cirque Du Soliel beautiful acts for him, you know, and, and just watching them doing that and me just getting pleased by her husband in either riding him or just sitting on his face or whatever it was interaction. It was just a huge turnon.
Leyna: Let's get to the discovering what turns you on, what turns you on that you didn't know turns you on.
Guest: It was my significant other, pleasing another woman. And so, we then went full force into it, we've been to all sorts of parties. We were in all sorts of clubs, and we put a profile up an SLS, and as soon discovered that meeting one on one in couples was really not that effective. There was a lot of back and forth and so we truly were a couple that wanted to see results and follow through,
Leyna: you're a DTF couple
Guest: right, right,
Leyna: you didn't. You didn't need the whole building up of a friendship thing you, you wanted to find other sexy people to sleep with,
Guest: right, we were very straight to the point, we were always very solid in our relationship. I truly enjoyed him as a my partner, I and the whole we would call it the the whole cherry on top would be that woman and it was always really women, because, unfortunately, in the lifestyle is very difficult for you to be compatible with an actual couple, it's you know the male or the female or something of that sort of that just, there's not a good match.
Leyna: You're talking about the four way connection is very difficult to attain.
Guest: Correct. So what soon just happened was that it was just, we just started seeking out other women, we've gone to all of Southern California clubs we were, we were known. And we would meet other couples there, either to also play with, or we would all set up a date and a time to say hey we're going to be here. If you want to show up, we were go you know we're here to play.
Leyna: Now how easy was it to actually just find another woman, to play with because I'm hearing that that's not, it's actually not that easy. How did you guys do it.
Guest: You can say it's me. I'm a very inviting person, I certainly allow that individual to come forward with their own open sexiness, you know, I have this, I call it my spidey senses, I have these spidey senses that I can go ahead and I can pick out this beautiful woman and I'm talking about inside and out, that just wants to be pleased, and once you feel special. I would go to that person and say hi, you know, my name is so and so and this is my boyfriend. What are you here for, I would scope out the area, and certainly find that person that wants to have a pleasurable time and was able to go ahead and share my boyfriend.
Leyna: You're, you're a unicorn magnet.
Guest: yes and I have certainly become, I was a wing man as a college and I, we've traveled and I've gone to a bar and I if you've ever wanted to have that experience I could get it out of you and man, we would have a great time.
Leyna: So then we're gonna fast forward to, you're calling him an ex boyfriend so at some point the relationship ends Did it have anything to do with lifestyle activities.
Guest: No it didn't.
Leyna: Alright, so then after you get out of that relationship did you continue in the lifestyle as a single woman,
Guest: I did. I became a girlfriend to a few couples, and that is when it also got very, very interesting and it was very different for me I wanted to venture into it as the, quote unquote, unicorn as they say, and I traveled Leyna to some really beautiful places. Well I saw places and had some of the most extraordinary connections.
Leyna: How did you meet these couples, as the unicorn,
Guest: so it was an online platform, and then from there, if they were in town, I would meet them in a public place because of course you have to consider safety as a woman and this is not only within the lifestyle it's everywhere really. And a lot of the couples that I had a relationship with they were older couples.
Leyna: How old were talking about
Guest: probably anywhere from 60s to 70s,
Guest: Yeah, no.
Leyna: Okay, that's, I mean that's kind of awesome to hear that people in that age range are sexually active and adventurous.
Guest: Oh yes, absolutely. And not only that but it wasn't usually it wasn't people from the California area. It was people from all over the world, usually they would be here for a weekend or a little bit longer than that, you know, for another event or for work or whatever the situation was but I would always meet the couple it would never just be the man or the woman. And so if that took off, then I would spend the weekend with them and see how that connection would go.
Leyna: Is there something about older couples that attracted you or, or do you find that there are just more older couples who are that open in their marriages?
Guest: older couples are a lot more solid and their marriage and their relationship and a lot more open to it.
Leyna: So you would be like in your 40s they would be in there from 60s to 70s. I think a lot of people probably most of them in the vanilla world hear that and they're like oh my god, old people having sex.
But were they were they sexy or because, like even to me that sounds like oh my gosh that's old
Guest: just super sexy there were fit. There were all sorts of backgrounds. It wasn't only this, this one type I mean there's really all sorts of you know dynamic older souls everywhere you know.
Leyna: And do you think that maybe perhaps them being in the lifestyle contributes to the fact that, you know, they're not walking around with walkers.
Guest: Correct. Exactly. Very well sad it's true, it's they're still there, spend for it all.
Leyna: Where the women in these relationships by sexual.
Guest: Yes, that was one of my requirement.
Leyna: Okay, let's talk about that for a second.
Leyna: let's talk about that because I talked to a lot of women who are bisexual, who say that there are plenty of women in the lifestyle who claim to be, but aren't really bisexual. Guest: That's true.
Leyna: We're talking about like you know those pillow princesses you’ve met em right Guest: yes correct all these terms I have to say they're there, that just makes me laugh, we just kinda kind of giddy about it
Leyna: But you've met women like that?
Guest: yes, I have.
Leyna: a lot?
Guest: Yes. Yes.
Leyna: And do you mind, because there are women who don't mind, like people pleasers women who, you know, are okay doing all the work for lack of a better way to put it but right.
Guest: I don't mind because I will go ahead and talk about it. So I am wanting to certainly make you feel like comfortable about the scenario, a lot of us really at times oh I'm not going to do that because it's, it's disgusting or it's just no it's it's a time really to explore when we're all together.
Leyna: But what if there are women who just want to be pleased so it's not just the they're not comfortable with it, but there are just some women who are in it to just to be pleased.
Leyna: Are you okay with that.
Guest: Absolutely. I'm okay with that. I'm really just okay with it all because I believe that we're all kind of getting something.
Leyna: So you don't mind doing all the work.
Guest: I don't mind doing all the work. No, no, because I'm really not there. Do you enjoy it. Yes, usually is because if she's not putting all the work then I will go ahead and put all the work with her partner.
Leyna: Can you maybe describe, like the configuration, what are we talking about I'm assuming that after however many years of experience and how many couples you've been with that, there are a lot of different positions, a lot of different things that you can do exactly like what do you really enjoy.
Guest: I really enjoy when everybody's really into it.
Leyna: No no no no no, that's, that's a feeling being into it is a feeling that I'm looking for, what do you guys actually doing what do you enjoy doing, toys, for example, do you bring your own.
Guest: Yes, there is a briefcase.
Leyna: oh there's a briefcase.
Guest: There's a briefcase with a strap on it there's a briefcase with all sorts of vibrators.
Not only the vibrators but the flogging. I also have nails that are kind of like sensation you know I can see sensation all over so there is a there is a briefcase, it's certainly that I would, I would take on a regular Oh, and depending on how comfortable they are, then I go ahead and expose a briefcase and I bring it out to play.
Leyna: It's like your tools of the trade.
Guest: Yes, the tools of the trade.
One scenario was the city and the sibian was, and has been one of my favorite toys of all time, so it's kind of like a saddle, right, and this saddle has all sorts of attachments on there, and as you're sitting on it, it just saw your comfort level of course of intensity. And as you're sitting on it. There's somebody managing it and it's either going up or down and the vibration. And so at one point, I had my ex right behind me. I'm sitting on it as it's vibrating. I have a woman in front of me, embracing me and kissing me and sucking on my breasts as I'm having my boyfriend behind me, penetrating me a little anal sex, let's just say you were doing a DP with this machine. That's correct. It's probably one of the best orgasms and toys that you can probably have around.
A lot of women are really afraid of it. A lot of women are really afraid to dive, you know, I think we should certainly try it once in a while
Leyna: but you've got to be kind of comfortable with someone to bring in heavy artillery right.
Guest: Yes, correct.
Leyna: Okay, what about the couples that you meet up with, does the briefcase go with you wherever you go,
yes it would go everywhere I went, my spare clothes and in the car with long with the briefcase whenever I would be like, my friends, yes
Leyna: nice girl you mean business.
Guest: It's been great, I would bring it out and if I wanted if everyone was comfortable with, I would certainly put on the strap on and penetrate her, and also him if he wanted to.
Leyna: Is there anything that's off the table for you.
Leyna: really. So anal?
Guest: Yes, absolutely.
Leyna: Oh, that's That's it like that's a big yes
Guest: yeah that's a big yes I really enjoyed it's I believe it's really all a muscle and it's really, it could, it could do a lot.
Leyna: Okay, so the orgasms you have when you do that are different,
Guest: extremely different. You can see it's a two part orgasm, very intense
Leyna: group sex you're okay with
Guest: Yes, as well I've ever been in a gangbang. No I haven't
Leyna: any interest.
Guest: Um, no, no, I got it I kind of want the women.
Guest: I kind of want all of it.
Leyna: Is there anything that you haven't done yet that you want to do. like any, any fantasies you haven't fulfilled.
Oh my gosh, she's got to think that long.
Guest: Yeah, no it's been it's been quite a beautiful Journey Leyna, really I have fulfilled many and I really, if I can do it again I would, I believe we should give everything a try once.
And as they say, Don't knock it till you try it, because I think it's, it's healthy, I believe that we should for these encounters you know you should certainly open up for the possibility of and hey if you're not into that you just saved. In a way, that didn't work.
Leyna: Do you have any tips for people looking for a unicorn because you know, just about everyone. Yeah that's right, like how do you how do you find women like you?
Guest: as majestic as unicorns are, I don't think you find them, they find you,
Leyna: how do you attract them, like what do you find attractive and a couple,
Guest: I find that with them, not trying so hard and just being themselves really, in their own uniqueness. That's the hardest thing for me. You don't need to be this perfect couple. That looks like Ken and Barbie at all whatsoever. When you are standing there just being who you are. I find that the sexiest thing ever. And that's when I go I go after you. And I will invite you into my circle.
Leyna: And if you'd like to try to get into her circle a little bit sooner you can look her up on Instagram, she's at bestillwithNatalia.
Next time on consenting adults, they made a lot of mistakes in the lifestyle.
Guest: we missed out on friendships we missed out on Play opportunities. We look Back now on couples that reached out to us when we were very fearful in the beginning, and we were full on germaphobes, we didn't want—you’re gonna suck on his dick and you’re gonna come and kiss me? right you know. And then my wife, you’re gonna eat er out, don't you French kiss me after that I don't want that right now. Yeah, exactly. I think we think about that now, like, that sounds amazing.
Leyna: They share with me their system to sift and sort swingers as the ultimate DTF couple. That's next time on consenting adults.
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