If you enjoy Consenting Adults, please consider becoming a member or making a one-time contribution to support the show and keep the conversation going. Click below to see what membership includes.
What's the difference between a hotwife and a cuckold relationship? Can you be a cuckold couple without the humiliation aspect? Mae and her husband are cuckold newbies. She finds MFM threesomes uncomfortable and is finding her voice as a cuckoldress. They may not be the typical cuck couple but they're having a lot of fun trying to figure it out.
EP 55 – Cuckold Newbies
I just thought that that's how a wife was supposed to be was supposed to be just kind of following her husband and doing what he wants and, and that was that worked for us because I just didn't know any better at the time, it was more I guess of a like a threesome than it was a consulting experience, because I think the guy that we were with hadn't been with an actual cuckold couple before. He just sits there and watches and takes pictures and videos. He is in a very calm, almost meditative state when I am engaged with another man. He just was very slow at.
I'm sorry it's kind of awkward to talk about still because I'm still, you know, not super experienced and this.
He took his pants off and I was kind of like playing with my husband while also, You know, having sex with this other man behind me. There's a lot of times where I just like had my hand on my husband or maybe I was giving him head. Or, he was kind of like bringing me water and supporting me. That concerns me I wanted him to know that, you know I still loved him, give him that reassurance when actually I probably just needed it for myself. I wasn't interested in having a threesome, I really didn't want to tie the two together, putting my husband, who I love and have this passion and life with experience with a man that I don't know really well, brand new, and I'm just having I'm there to have sex with them like that was the whole purpose. And so it really works well for us to both go together so far we are talking about me going alone, just because with kids, it's easier and cheaper because we don't have to get a babysitter. If I found another man attractive right like I just thought there was something wrong with me like why would I think that, you know like our position I wanted to try I would never say anything because I just thought, you know, why do I want this. Get ready. This is consenting adults.
(Podcast Show Open)
Leyna: My guest today is a graphic designer and stay at home mom, Mae is 32 years old. Her husband is Ryan, they've been together. They've been married 10 years been together 13 years, and they're like cuckold newbies. In fact, when I asked me to talk to us, she said you know we're really new at this, I really don't have any information, but I'm thinking, there are so many couples out there who were in the same shoes and would love to hear someone else's experience so Mae thanks for agreeing to share your story with us. So you've been married 10 years been together 13 years. I'm assuming you guys know each other pretty well right,
Guest: yes, we, we got together when we were 19 and 20 and so we have kind of grown up together in a way,
Leyna: and how was your sex life, how was your marriage before you got into all of this, Guest: we had a long distance relationship when we first started out, which was difficult we kind of started out with some challenges in the beginning and then I moved to Texas to be with him, and you know we lived together very shortly before I got pregnant and we got married. And so we really jumped into things quite quickly as a couple, was the sex life good yeah we, we had a good sex life. The only thing is is I was very timid I didn't really have a voice in any of our sexual interests because I just kind of went along with my husband's whatever he wanted. Yeah, and I just thought that that's how a wife was supposed to be was supposed to be just kind of following her husband and doing what he wants and, and that was that worked for us because I just didn't know any better at the time,
Leyna: and what were some of those things that he wanted.
Guest: Well, in the beginning I mean I think it was just kind of basic vanilla sex. There wasn't a lot of, I wouldn't say like we were closed off to things like we had toys and we took, like, lingerie and you know we were experimenting with each other but it was pretty vanilla.
Leyna: So while you're doing that, did you yourself want other things.
Guest: It was really sorry I was actually pretty disgusted with sex, my own sexual desires like I was really ashamed of the things I wanted, what did you want. Well, I don't really know if I did want anything but anything like that interests me like if I found another man attractive right like I just thought there was something wrong with me like why would I think that, you know like or a position I wanted to try I would never say anything because I just thought, you know, why do I want this, and I think a lot of it was just an experience in a relationship like, I've never been in a relationship. Prior to my husband, like I had been with other men before but it was not not a relationship, if that makes sense.
Leyna: So you had sex with other men, you just weren't in a committed relationship with anyone else.
Guest: Right. Correct, yes.
Leyna: So you thought these desires and fantasies you had were wrong so you never brought them up.
Guest: Exactly, yeah I just, I kept my mouth shut if my husband said, you know, do you have any fantasies, I would always say no I don't really need fantasies, I don't have any, which was probably not true but I think I was also lying to myself at the time,
Leyna: was there anything that kind of spurred this like new sexual revolution for you guys as a couple. Did anything happen.
Guest: Nothing happened I was pregnant with our daughter, which is our second child, and my husband had been going through some things, and he decided that he was going to come to me with a lot of this guilt and shame he had as a child, and these desires that he wanted to explore, and so he brought them to me, you know, he told me about his cock holding interest he told me what it was I was really confused in the beginning I was like, I've never heard of this. It seems pretty far out there, right.
Leyna: What did he actually explain to you because if you've never heard of it anyone says cuckold and you don't know what the hell that means right so, so what did he want, what did he desire.
Guest: Well he did use the term cuckolding but he kind of made it seem like I would go sleep with other people and he would go sleep with other people, which he didn't say but that's kind of how I took it, and I was thinking, well, that goes against everything I had ever been taught like that's the way people get divorced you fall in love with other people and you go separate ways. And so for me I had a lot of fear, I was like no way we can never do this because this is just outrageous, and I would never do anything to sacrifice the relationship that we built. I was also pregnant at the time and so, you know, taking that in I was kind of overwhelmed and thinking, Well, you know I'm pregnant, and you want to do these things. I really I really appreciated that he confided in me in these desires that he had, and I thought well maybe we can just keep it in the bedroom, fantasize about it, not really take it any further because I just didn't think that that would ever be a possibility.
Leyna: So in the beginning, it was some pillow talk so you talked about it.
Guest: Yeah and we played around with experimenting with, you know, dirty talk but I really again wasn't in a place where I really enjoyed talking dirty I felt really uncomfortable and insecure with myself. And so we decided to like post pictures online because that kind of fulfilled his need of having other men, look at me and comment on my body and it kind of filled that desire of his without actually acting on it, I felt like that was something I could handle, I think.
Leyna: So it really sounds like you're like you're taking baby steps into cuckolding Right. Guest: Absolutely. It took us a total of six years from the journey told me until we actually acted on it and I became interested in experimenting and trying out more things sexually.
Leyna: Wow, Okay, so then let's fast forward to, when you actually decided to act upon these things, what did you do?
Guest: Then I got into listening to podcasts and kind of learning more about the dynamic of consulting and what that actually entails like what would be required of me what my husband would do like how does this work because I could still never really figure out how that actually works and I also was really terrified of insecurities kind of creeping in, into more of the emotional impact that would have on our relationship more than I was interested in the sex. And so, what really solidify that this is what we both wanted to do was actually getting on Twitter and finding a community of other women that did this. That was the most impactful thing that I had had over the six years that would even make me slightly interested in actually acting upon it because I saw these women who were normal. And were moms and live these lives that I was living, and also having a cuckold dynamic with their partners and their husbands that they had been with for a really long time. And so I really understood more and was able to see how this could actually be a possibility for us, but it was your first experience. So we created some dating profiles on can't remember it was like some, like everyone else was right. Some guys messaged me on there and we narrowed it down and I ended up going to meet with the gentleman by myself, because we have kids and we can set up a babysitter to like last minute like that. And so I ended up going by myself to just kind of meet him to see if we would have any kind of connection, and it really didn't work out, he was very immature and not, not something I was looking for it, we just didn't have that connection or that chemistry, because I felt like I needed somebody older and who understood, you know that I'm a mom. I'm a wife and this isn't just, you know I like I take it seriously. And so that didn't end up working out and our next experience he had more experience in the lifestyle I guess. I guess I should say and I ended up meeting with him alone too and getting some drinks, and it actually worked out really well. And we had like set up a day and then he ended up flaking on me
Leyna: so it was quite the process of like finding.
Guest: Yeah, we ended up finding a gentleman. After that, that ended up working and he we all kind of connected and the difference between the third guy was my husband went with me to from the beginning. And so we both had met him and we both liked him, and we both kind of agreed like this would work for our first experience, an actual first encounter. So then, the first time you met the third guy, you actually had a sexual experience with him. Yes, he lives nearby and, you know this isn't like me, but we had talked about like if he had testing, I had no concerns like all of it was out on the table, it was safe, me and my husband decided that we both trusted him for his first experience to go and do this and so it was kind of unexpected and unplanned for all of us, but he lived nearby and so we went back to his place and he just really made the whole thing comfortable and you could tell that he had been in a situation before like this, and he was respectful and kind and he didn't rush anything, and, and yeah so it was, it was perfect. I said,
Leya: Have you heard the show before.
Leyna: Okay, so you know that's not allowed. Okay, there we go.
So you go to the guy's house. It's you and your husband right.
Okay. So, how does it start is it kind of drinks kind of a little chitchat and, you know, neither of you are experienced.
Guest: Absolutely. So, we have sat at the bar for a really long time we really talked for a while. And there wasn't a lot of flirting it he felt more like a friend than anything like the conversation was easy and it was intellectual and it really kept me engaged. All of us are just kind of sitting in his living room and it was nerve racking, I was, I was nervous, I honestly I didn't know how to start it. I didn't know what to do. My husband actually helped he kind of helped me relax a little bit he pulled me over and kissed me and was like, giving me the reassurance I needed because helping your husband, they're going to be watching you with another man is very unusual, like it's not something you can prepare for, I don't think, no matter how much you fantasize about it. And so it started with him kissing me and like reassuring me and then the other guy the third guy, I don't want to use names. Just gonna call him the third guy. He came up behind me and kind of started like caressing my body kissing my neck, and that's when it really took off, and it wasn't a lot of conversation at his house, we all knew what we were there for. We went all back to his bedroom, he had his lights dimmed it really set the mood, the music was put on, and he just was very slow at.
I'm sorry it's kind of awkward to talk about still because I'm still, you know, not super experienced in this. Did your husband do anything or was he watching. He was involved, because the third guy kind of encouraged that, because it would be easier for me. and, and it was nice because I didn't feel like my husband was just there being left out because I that concerns me I wanted him to know that, you know I still loved him, give him that reassurance when actually I probably just needed it for myself.
It was more I guess of a like a threesome than it was a cuckolding experience, because I think the guy that we were with had been with an actual cuckold couple before. And that's only in hindsight that I'm really kind of understanding that, but again, I don't, I don't really know his experiences that much.
Thanks, so he kind of encouraged like my husband to take his pants off and be involved.
Leyna: What kind of configuration are we talking about. So yeah, it was awkward because we had never done that with another man before.
Guest: Right. And so we had just like he took his pants off and I was kind of like playing with my husband while also, you know, having sex with this other man behind me. There's a lot of times where I just like had my hand on my husband or maybe I was giving him head, or he was kind of like bringing me water and supporting me. I wasn't interested in having a threesome, I really didn't want to tie the two together, putting my husband, who I love and have this passion and life with mixed with a man that I don't know really well, brand new, and I'm just having him there to have sex with them like that was the whole purpose, mixing the two of those was really conflicting for me because I had never been with two men before. It was also a lot of pressure, but that's not to say that I didn't enjoy myself because I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. And, you know, it makes me excited for my future in this lifestyle.
Leyna: Let me ask you this because so far, none of it really sounds cuckold. Right?
Leyna: How have you come to understand that what you're interested in, or what you have is cuckolding
Guest: yeah so that's still something where we're figuring out, my husband was never sexually excited during that first time because he really just was interested in watching me experience this. And so after our first experience we really had a conversation about what we wanted and I told him, you know, being with two guys at once, isn't something I'm ready for right now, it's not something that I thought we were going to do, and I don't know if I want that in the future, like right now i i would rather separate the two.
Leyna: and he agreed.
Guest: Yes, I mean, it wasn't as simple as just agreeing, there's a whole lot of emotional breakthroughs and work that we had to talk through and so I'm not one to take the lead and I'm learning how to really take more control. And so he's learning also how to take a step back, while I take a step forward and that part has been kind of difficult for us to navigate, but I think we're doing well. The second experience was more cuckold where he really did just watch, and this was with the same guy. He really wasn't involved he was just kind of there for support and he was taking pictures of it.
Leyna: Did you find yourself more comfortable that way.
Guest: I really enjoyed that experience more because I was solely focused on myself, and we knew that going in, that we're doing this for my pleasure and I'm there to have sex with this man and then he is watching me,
Leyna: and he also gets something out of watching you otherwise you guys wouldn't be doing this right.
Guest: Absolutely yeah and he in turn benefits because that's what his desires are also. And so it really works well for us to both go together so far we are talking about me going alone, just because with kids, it's easier and cheaper because we don't have to get a babysitter. It's also very erotic to for him to let go of that control enough to trust me to go out on my own and be with another man and know that that's not gonna affect our marriage at all.
Leyna: When he's there just watching is he just watching or is he masturbating or what?
Guest: Um just from the experiences that we've had, he just sits there and watches and takes pictures and videos. He is in a very calm, almost meditative state when I am engaged with another man, and he really finds joy and pleasure in watching me be pleasured by somebody else.
Leyna: Okay then, when you go home, do you guys, then talk about the experience. Guest: Absolutely, during sex. Yeah, and I, I even not during sex, there are times where we're just laying in bed being intimate together, not doing anything sexual. But this connection that we feel afterwards and even several days after the event is almost like you're writing a high and off of the experience that you've experienced together, it brings you closer together at least for us, it does. And so we do a reclaiming sex or reconnecting sex a lot there's a lot of different terms for it, but we definitely do come together and that doesn't necessarily mean that we're, you know, PIV sex only, there's lots of play and
Leyna: what is PIV?
Guest: penis and vagina sex.
Oh my gosh, sorry.
Leyna: No, I'm Thank you. I've never heard that before. And I love it when I learned something new.
Guest: Yeah, I, a lot of what you see on Twitter or in porn or whatever it gives you this idea of what cuckolding is going to be and it's really nothing like what it is portrayed for you guys for you. Right, right.
Leyna: So, what I'm trying to understand because I have a very hard time differentiating between hot wife, and a… you're a cuckoldress, if, if your husband is a cuck right, you’re a cuckoldress, so then, do you know the difference, because so far, I'm not hearing anything about humiliation, you know I'm not hearing about the things that I often hear from other cuckold couples. How do, why do you identify that what you're into is cuckold.
Guest: This is also something we're still learning and I think this is important because the labels, especially for new couples that are exploring this, the labels can get very overwhelming. And also, they almost make you feel like you're put into this box of something that you have to perform and live up to. For us, my husband has a history of trauma and he just wrote a blog post about this so people can read more about that if they'd like we've been having kind of a difficult time transitioning into what an actual true cuckold couple is because of our past, and so we're still kind of learning, while that is the goal and we do some humiliation, he is in chastity, a lot of the time we do take breaks and he doesn't do long term chastity just because we're not there yet, or taking really small steps.
Leyna: And so we can you share us, can you share with us briefly, the trauma that you're talking about.
Guest: Yeah, so when he was a teenager, his first real relationship who he thought that he was going to spend the rest of his life with cheated on him with his best friend, and went behind his back a lot, which I think kind of sparked the curiosity in the calculating dynamic, interesting, but it was very hurtful for him at the time because these two people that were really close to him in his teenage years where he's developing, you know his sexual identity, really went behind his back and betrayed him. And when we first started, it was we were a hot wife couple because we weren't ready to take the steps into him fully letting go of control, if that makes sense.
Leyna: Sure, sure you do experiment a little bit with humiliation, you do a little bit of chastity. Does he have a cage?
Guest: Yeah we have here he has two cages, and most of the time I control his orgasms and so he's not allowed to.
I mean, we're still learning because, again, like I said like I've never been in control and so I'm still learning kind of how to have that power in controlling that but he is willing and he wants to submit to me and he, you know, together we're finding exactly what our specific dynamic looks like for us,
Leyna: you're like, just like cuckold puppies.
Guest: Yes, exactly.
Leyna: So cute.
And you have this quality in your voice. You sound very much like Venus, who we had on the show. And I know that you have been on her podcast as well. And that's part of this community connection you have with other women in the lifestyle, right, that's, that's helping you along. Guest: Absolutely. Without these women without, you know, just the support group that we have on Twitter and it's not just women it's couples because you know the women's partners, have also been really pivotal for my husband to bounce ideas off and to understand what they go through to make sure that he's not alone in the process of starting this.
Leyna: How new Are you guys? like when did you start this?
Guest: three months ago.
Leyna: Oh, wow. You really are new,
Guest: brand new baby.
Leyna: Nice. And do you feel yourself kind of everyday kind of finding that voice, even more, do you feel more confident do you feel like you're making some headway.
Guest: I am absolutely a completely different person, over the last three months than I ever have in my whole life, I have. I've learned things about myself that I never knew, I've started to realize a lot of my sexual shame, and stuff roots from my religious upbringing, just this power, it's kind of, kind of hard to explain but this power that I get from being able to explore my sexuality has benefited our marriage, completely but also in turn, it's allowed me to realize that I have this voice professionally in my family how I'm raising my daughter in every way, the lifestyle has shifted my personality to affect the rest of my life.
Leyna: That is hot wife Mae may be turning into cuckoldress Mae love to check in on her. Maybe after she has a few more cuckolded experiences under her belt, you can find her. She's one of our followers just look for us on Twitter, we are @ConsentAdults, and she is hot wife Mae. All right, next time on Consenting Adults she’s a sexy librarian, and apparently not everything she learned was from a book.
Guest: Well, first your clit has to be very one but you have to be able to have a station preface with that. And then once you put your your fingers in and kind of push against the front inside part of your vaginal canal and might not have the terms right.
Leyna: That's next time on Consenting Adults.
Consenting Adults is produced for the ear and is designed to be heard. We strongly encourage you to listen to the audio which includes emotion, emphasis, and humor that isn't expressed in the written word. Transcripts are generated using a combination of automated and human transcription and may contain errors. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.