Ep 53 The Shy Swinger

A woman with past sexual trauma says the lifestyle makes her feel desired and confident. She feels sexier now over 50 than she did in her 30's.  She has picked up healthier habits, takes better care of herself and is a different woman!  Natasha hooked up with a bouncer at the sex club in her first experience and ended up having sex with 5 men that night. She's now exploring other activities and is literally training for anal play. 

EP 53 – The Shy Swinger
Transcription:

0:00
(Sizzle Reel)
I started with fingers in the shower for example sort of stretching and getting used to that sensation, it is odd at first and of course your body clenches at first it says that that plague is actually it helps you stretch a little bit and get used to things that are sort of open, a little bit, and then I think. So what we've done a couple of times as half driving and wearing the butt plug for maybe 1015 minutes and taking it out and trying is putting as cogs in there, and of course that feels really good. I given the bouncer blowjob and, and my husband and had both had sex with me, it usually while I was giving a blowjob to one or the other the other one was having sex with me, grabbed a hold of me and I felt so desired and, wow, turned off. And then at one point he flipped me over on my back and the other, the first gentleman that I did was grabbed one leg, my husband grabbed the other, I must have like tired at this point, and
I need to help you. So But wasn't it you, your husband, and one guy or you your husband and two guys and me and my husband two guys at this point, girl, you need a lesson in math. I think when I can easily get him in my ass, easily, without any struggling out right now we still struggle a little bit with position and the right amount of lube and that sort of thing and to have, you don't want to do that with a second person waiting or, you know,
trying to get your game down you want to get your game down first. Get ready. This is Consenting Adults. 

(Podcast Show Open)


2:15
Leyna: My guest today is 53 years old, and she tells me that she feels sexier now than she did when she was in her 20s and 30s, I've got to find out why. Her name is Natasha. If I told you the industry that she's in. You would be surprised because Natasha, all due respect, it sounds really normal and boring, which is so different from the secret that you have so welcome to the show. Before we get into all the fun stuff and why you feel sexier at 53 than you did, you know, 20 or more years ago, I know that you've had some sexual trauma in your past and you say that the lifestyle has actually helped you deal with that. So, can you briefly tell us about what happened.

2:52
Guest: Yes I can. So, when I was a young teenager, I was sexually molested by my older sister and her then husband, and it was rather traumatic because I had to keep seeing them of course as I was growing up, and I tried not to talk about it, that my mom actually eventually figured it out, and then got me to a therapist who then wanted to press charges. So became sort of a difficult situation, and I dealt with a lot of shame around that, and I dealt with a lot of health issues actually when I was younger, just nervous and anxious, claustrophobic.

3:30
Leyna: And, and I imagine that when you go through something like that it has to affect your sex life as you get older and how you view sex and all that, yeah.

3:40
Guest: Yes, well and actually what started out was, I just became very, very promiscuous and was looking for older men to have sex with so many interesting encounters when I was younger, And then, then picked several bad choices. As I got older and significant others to be with. And it wasn't till I was almost 30 that I met my now husband, and he was really a rock, and I told him about what had happened to me pretty early on in our relationship. I'm thinking it might push them away but hoping that if it didn't, he might be a real keeper and if he didn't he just listened to me calmly and has been supportive of me ever since then started asking me some questions about my younger days, instead of getting offended by what I done when I was younger, got very turned on by the promiscuous stories. Oh. Uh huh. And so made that into actually something better for our relationship.

4:39
Leyna: So when you say that Do you mean that like what was part of your pillow talk was part of the dirty talk during sex. 
Guest: Yes, I'm sorry, that's that. 
Leyna: Yeah, so, okay, and a lot of couples do that, right, and a lot of couples will say things in the heat of passion that they probably would never ever do. Right, yes. So, how did you jump from, you know, finding a real partner in life. Being able to open up being able to maybe share fantasies or have this dirty talk to, to actually doing something with it.

5:13
Guest: When we started talking about it I started reading books, I hate to focus in over publicly discussed but 50 shades, and a few other sort of mum porn type books. And so I started talking about that. Then we started talking about sex clubs, just in general and I had a very different view I didn't understand what they were sort of all about, and I was turning 50 He decided to take me to Las Vegas, and so that's what started this whole process he mentioned that was a club there but I be interested in going and the premise of what was making me excited about the thought was having sex with other men. I never really thought I was at attractive to other men. And so, it was amazing to me. When we went just what ended up happening, I just wanted to go and look and we went together and I ended up getting a tour by the person that worked there as a bouncer, he found out it was my birthday, and after I sort of settled in and we watched what was going on The Club. I approached him and said, Well, would you be willing to give me a spanking and maybe, Oh, show me what's done here. He said, of course, so he took us to the room. And we had a really wonderful first experience of a threesome with this bouncer,

6:27
Leyna: What you hooked up with a bouncer at the club?!
Guest: Yes.
Leyna: Oh my goodness. Wow, perks of the job, I guess, but also but you've never done anything like this. So can you tell me, tell me about the experience like, like what happened. 
6:44
Guest: He took us in this private room it was dimly lit sort of colorful lights, so it was sort of calming, there was a bed in the middle of the room, not much else actually. And he just stood in front of me and started complimenting the dress I was wearing in my heels and touching me and kissing me, my husband stood behind me, and was kissing the back of my neck which I just love, so it just sort of progressed from there that we just all started having sex together and I felt very, Let me see this. I really enjoyed it I felt very desired I felt really pretty I felt very sexy
7:17
Leyna: and it turned him on too,
Guest: yes, yes. 
Eyna: Did you know you were going to go this far?

Guest: No, no, no, I just thought we were going to look around and I would that I would be very intimidated and very shy, actually, which is sort of fine now. And that would probably just go back to our hotel room and maybe talk about what we've seen, and maybe that would enhance the sex for us, but I had no plan on doing that we did and then it was really funny, it got so after that whole session ended and I'd given the bouncer blowjob and, and my husband and I had both had sex with me, it usually well I was giving a blowjob to one or the other the other one was having sex with me as we left the room after all of that, the bouncer talked to a few more men that had come in since we had been there. And as we went to sit down to have some water just to sort of catch our breath and talk about what it just happened. Those two approached us, and started talking to us, and I didn't think a whole lot of it until my husband went to us after money sent us he left for to ask me Do you want to play with us and I was like well, I don't know. I have to wait for my husband's my husband came back and we've decided Sure so we all three went to the bedroom, and I gave one of the men head while the other one, watched from sort of next to the dead, and never even touched that gentleman at all so I gave them one blowjob on the bed and then climbed up on him and have sex with him. But where's your husband at this point. Oh, watching standing right next to the bed so at that point he didn't want to be too involved because he was pretty sent from the first experience.

8:54
Leya: Well hold on wait, so you said you went to the three of you went into the room. Wait, so But wasn't it you, your husband, and one guy or you your husband and two guys?
Guest: Me, my husband two guys at this point,
Leyna: girl, you need a lesson in math. So it was you. So the four of you, 
Guest: yes four went into a room. 
Leyna: Your husband and one of the guys actually ended up just watching

9:19
Guest: right for that first. Yes, for that first gentleman. And then when that finished, the other one that had been standing by the bed the whole time I hadn't even touched him custom even really talked to him, asked me to get up on all fours on the bed, and he grabbed my hips, and I just started fucking me. But I felt really, for some reason, very comfortable, it felt really good. I didn't have any. I wasn't nervous about the way I looked. Anyways, he just sort of grabbed ahold of me and I felt so desired, and wow, turned off. And then at one point he flicked here from my back and the other, the first gentleman that I did was grabbed one leg, my husband got the other, I must have looked tired at this point, and I needed to help you. But they seemed really turned on, just to watch it hold one leg ah as the other guy just pounded me. And then, as I've ended we all just sort of walked out of the room and the other fellow was looking for, I think, a ride like Uber and that was it I mean, it was, it was just very different I've never done that before.

10:25
Leyna: So you go to the sex club first time ever in a sex club, you think you're just gonna check it out see what it's all about and you ended up sleeping with three other guys not your husband. 
Guest: Correct.
10:35
Leyna: Wow, 
Guest: and my husband too that night 
Leyna: And your husband yeah. Okay, at this point are you spent yet?

10:42
Guest: I'm sort of a little bit but a little bit just sort of giddy at this point, sort of, what just happened like it was just very overwhelming to me that I was happy, really happy, I felt energized. So we went back to our hotel room and had more sex together, the very connective good sex. Yeah.

12:46
Leyna: At this point, do you realize that this is, like you've been missing this like this was kind of, did you feel it was good for your relationship.

12:53
Guest: Yes, absolutely. My husband, bless his heart just really encouraged me and said, How much it turned him on. He wasn't jealous. He wasn't, none of that. Just very much liked it was very excited that I was willing to try it.

13:09
Leyna: How long before your next experience, 
Guest: That was probably about six months. 
Leyna: Well Why so long since you've enjoyed it so much.

13:16
Guest: Oh, because I'm sorry I should have explained some of the things I was willing to do if we were to do this was to do it out of town. So, Las Vegas was definitely another state from where we lived. I had we had to use different names, so that nobody would recognize us even though we were far away from home. So I had to wait for us to take another trip to Vegas to do that again. I didn't even know about things like websites or parties like this, I had no clue. So the next trip to Vegas, our first night we went back to the same club. I met an extraordinary individual who really, really connected with us he is very fun to play with. And after that session together he asked for contact information to reach out to us at a later date, and I thought that was really odd, I really didn't want to at first but we eventually exchanged phone numbers, and he's become one of our really close friends we only see him maybe once a year, but he's made it really remarkable for us.

14:16
Leyna: So have you only had experiences with other men?

14:20
Guest: We've had a couple with a woman involved, And I really just didn't seem to like it too much. However, they were in the sex club setting, and since then we've gotten on a website, and I've met a couple of couples through that venue, and I'm actually thinking about maybe trying that like a, like, all four of us because I do you feel a little bit guilty that my husband doesn't get the same attention that I do, so I feel a little greedy,

14:49
Leyna: but how does he feel about it because there are men who just prefer, you know, sharing their wives, there are men who, who really don't have an interest in including other women. Where does your husband stand?

15:00
Guest: I think he's not quite sure I don't think he ever thought about the other woman part. So, yeah, he hasn't been very vocal one way or the other I don't, I don't think he was stopped doing this lifestyle if he didn't have that opportunity, but I don't think he's adverse to trying it.

15:15
Leyna: Does it turn you on, or, Well, you don't know yet but it would turn you on to see him with another woman.

15:22
Guest: I'm not sure so I thought that when we try that, that we start with baby steps, in case it's not a good reaction for me. 
Leyna: Okay, and what would baby steps be 
Guest: maybe just like a soft swap, meaning just making out and touching and maybe not going all the way and having sex.

15:39
Leyna: I'm wondering if you know how some people think that actual penetration is not as intimate as the other stuff. Where do you stand on that like to you is penetration like the ultimate, or do you think, like for instance oral sex is really intimate.

15:57
Guest: It's an interesting question because I give and receive oral sex with no problem with lots of people so I don't want to see your husband doing it with someone, I think that penetrative sex for me would be more intimate.

16:11
Leyna: Are you both straight. Yes, so there's no, there's no interaction whatsoever between your husband and any of the male partners you've had. 
Guest: Now they occasionally might bump into each other but there's no male on male contacts and he wants to keep it that way.

16:26
Leyna: So then, yeah, it hasn't been just kind of like regular normal sex within the swinging lifestyle or have you done the other, you know, DP D VP thing.

16:40
Guest: Well, I do want to do. DP, I do, so I feel sort of like I'm old school I never did want that before but now I do and so I've been practicing at home with my husband with different things came having sex with me while I wear a plug for example so that I could eventually work up to having a clock in both places in my ass and in my pussy at the same time I think I would really like that.

17:09
Leyna: So you're you're practicing, are you training, yes are you training for this sort of training.
17:17
I think I asked you someone else because I, I've always had kind of questions about the butt plug and what it does and I think a man was explaining to me how pleasurable it actually is, because I thought it was more of a kind of like what you're explaining where it's, you know, it has a use to it and not not you're like you you're training, can you explain to me what, what is it pleasurable.

17:39
Guest: Yes, and if you're not used to, to putting anything there which I hadn't been, you have to sort of work up, you know, work up to it so you start I started with fingers in the shower for example sort of stretching and getting used to that sensation, it is odd at first and of course your body clenches at first, it says that that plague is actually it helps you stretch a little bit, and get used to thinking how to resist sort of open, a little bit, and then I think so what we've done a couple of times now is after I've been wearing the butt plug for maybe 10-15 minutes and taking it out and trying putting his cock in there, and of course that feels really good that the orgasm I have from that stimulation, along with clitoral and vaginal at the same time it's just like explosive I can't really describe it, it's much more intense.

18:26
Leyna: How long, when do you know that you're ready, when do you know that your training has completed.

18:32
Guest: I think when I can easily get him in my as, you know, easily, without any struggling out right now we still struggle a little bit with position and the right amount of lube and that sort of thing and to have, you don't want to do that with a second person waiting or, you know, 
Leyna: trying to get your game down, you want to get your game down first. 
Guest: Yes, Exactly. I see. Yeah, but you know some of the friends we've made through this lifestyle, have been really wonderful we see each other, sort of regularly, not during COVID, since that's sort of ended we’re all vaccinated now we've had a couple playdates before our son came home for the summer and it was really, it was fun to reconnect him, I try to stay in touch with become very flirty, on, on the internet. So,

19:19
Leyna: do you think you've changed, you know, outside of the bedroom, just being involved in the lifestyle Have you changed. 
19:26
Guest: Yes, I feel very, very passionate, thank you for asking that question and positive about it, I dress, nicer now i I've always tried to look my best whenever I leave the house now, more so than I did before I workout daily. I feel more confident. I'm just in general I think I carry myself with my head higher my shoulders back more I try harder at work. I'm more of a risk taker. Now, I don't hold back so much, and I think I voice my opinion more, which is all good stuff for me because I'm very shy, normally.

19:57
Leyna: Wow, nice. I know you can't speak for your husband but because your husband noticed a change in you. 

20:05
Guest: Yes he has and actually he was, He got me a diary to write in like a big lover bound diary and wrote to me about how wonderful this whole transformation has been for him and for us, but to watch me change and he buys me lots of beautiful lingerie and and dresses to dress up and and show him and others, and really enjoy his, he's really enjoyed it and I think he just, in general I think he enjoys the change in me, and you guys have been married over 20 years. Yes. Wow. Yeah, and we had a very good sex life, I don't mean to make it sound like we didn't, you know, things get up over time, not quite as exciting anymore. And so I do think that that's a really wonderful thing to try. However, I realize it's not for everybody. And if you're wanting to try this, I think that talking to your spouse the hallway and making sure that they're comfortable, is really important.

21:01
Leyna: Do you feel like this is now like permanently, a part of your life,

21:07
Guest: probably for as long as we can, I mean I have to realize that I'm, I'll be 54 in the fall and I'm getting older, he's getting at least four years older than I am. So at some point, you know, we might not be quite as attractive to others or. So I don't know, that would be forever forever but we certainly will enjoy it, as long as we can. And do you think that maybe once I started to feel really desirable to others, I noticed that I sort of just changed how I approached things and I think it does. It makes me feel younger, I feel so sexy and desirable all the time now, it's just been very transformative. And that's why I sort of wish I could share it with more people but I can't I don't want to share with my vanilla friends because I, I don't think they would understand. I do try to share the working out and eating well and just dressing your best.

21:59
Leyna: So I'm assuming there aren't a lot of people, pre swinging in your life who know about this. 
Guest: No.
Leyna: have you told anybody.
Guest: And no just no. 
Leyna: Do you think people who know you would be shocked if they found out, 
Guest: yes, absolutely right, yeah. Yes, 
Leyna: you would blow their mind. So Natasha thanks for opening up and sharing your story with us. If you'd like to hook up with her and the Hubby, you can look them up on Twitter, they go by Calistagandhotwife handle a@Calistagandhot1. But you know what, it's just easier to find us @ConsentAdults, they're one of our hot followers. Alright, next time on Consenting Adults, a married woman is on the hunt for true bisexual women after her experiences in the lifestyle.

22:46
Guest: you want to make sure that you put towels down over the whole bed. Remember the three of us just got right next to each other on top of the bed and just started pouring it all over and it just was extremely sensual and you know we're touching each other's nipples and just all over the place. And so you're already charged physically at that point. And she had his way down and she just got on top of us and it was the extra lubrication like from the baby oil that made it so much more pleasurable, you know, I know it's a different position for some women so I know there might not necessarily be comfortable with it either 
Leyna: Do you orgasm that way.
Guest: Yeah I do. 
Leyna: That's next time on Consenting Adults.