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David Webb --divorced, single, and lonely, was looking to find hotwives because he wasn't looking for a relationship. He ended up falling in love with the first hotwife he slept with and is now in a poly triad with her and her husband. He talks about how single males should show respect for the husband, what kind of photos to use, and shares the good, bad, and embarrassing; like his problems retaining an erection. David and his hotwife couple are Christians, and have no problems reconciling the lifestyle with their faith. David shares his experiences in two books: Hotwife Dating Diaries & The Book of Secrets.
EP 53 – Single Male Hotwife Dating Diary
At first she was sucking me while he was inside of her fucking her. Then I felt a different pressure on my cock and that was him sucking it. He interviewed you to sleep with his wife. He rabid me. So I sent him some pictures and he saw the pictures and he thought that they were quite classy, there was some effort into it, they weren't just the dick pic. We enjoy giving her DVP Oh, double virginal we do DP every once in a while but logistically it's just doesn't work as well. Double vaginal is a staple of our interactions, but I couldn't get an erection. So we took a break, Had some pizza, and some pizza, right. Was it good pizza.
Well, We got naked. I got inside of her. No condom, I said, you're really taking a chance, but she felt I was safe, and I was hoping she was, but I hadn't had a chance to go down on her, and I really love to go down on a woman, and I've been told by others that I'm quite talented. You found that when he went down on you. It felt better. Did you return the favor. Did you do anything with him.
Not that night, but at one point I I did return the favor, just to give it a try, and, and yeah, I felt kind of sexy. You felt sexy. I did feel sexy. Get ready. This is Consenting Adults.
(Podcast Show Open)
Leyna: My guest today is 49 year old David Webb, author of hotwife dating diaries, my adventures with a hot wife in the lifestyle, and the Book of Secrets, so David is out there in the Midwest somewhere he is a single male in an open poly relationship with a couple, he's Christians so aren't they. David, welcome to the show, I was just reading about some of your experiences with Vanessa now is Vanessa, a woman you're currently in this poly relationship with.
Guest: Yes, first of all, thanks for having me. It's an honor to be here. Yes, Vanessa is my hot wife date turned girlfriend turned the female of an MFM triad.
Leyna: I know it gets very technical, he gets very technical. So you're 49 years old. Have you ever been married,
Guest: I have I was in a very rough relationship for about 29 years, rough meaning what it was a abuse of in a verbal sense very controlling, she was quite paranoid about things not going her way so she attempted to control everything around her, and of course, being her husband, I was the easiest target of all.
Leyna: yet you stayed married for 20 something years
Guest: for the children.
Leyna: Right. I hear that all the time. All right, so now you are single, and you've got this really incredible sounding relationship going on. Can you tell me before we get into though the you know the what you do and who you do it with. How did you get here. Did you know there was a thing called polyamorous relationships, did you know about the lifestyle.
Guest: I knew about swinging.
Leyna: Why, how?
Guest: well I had heard, I had heard ABC I believe that a 2020 special years ago, and I saw it, I had heard about swingers I have no idea from where,
Leyna: and it intrigued you.
Guest: Yes, yes,
Leyna: even as a Christian you didn't think, Wow, that sounds really interesting but it's wrong?
Guest: I did. I actually did think that, that it was wrong, but I've come to realize that wrong, is probably not the proper
Leyna: the right word.
Leyna: Okay so you knew about it, why did you get involved in the lifestyle.
Guest: Well I was divorced and can are in the process of being divorced, and I was content with that going to work every day living on my own, then COVID happened and they shut everything down here in Michigan and I was stuck at home, and I got pretty bored, and pretty lonely, and there's only so much working out, you can do.
Leyna: You must be super buffed.
Guest: Thank you. So, needless to say I, I dabbled in a website, swing our dating website and signed up for that and sent out some emails after reading profiles that would fit me. Then mark Vanessa's husband responded to one of my messages, and well from there we actually set up a date.
Leyna: Before we start talking about how it all went, I'm curious to know why you went the lifestyle way, I mean because you were in a long time marriage with a lot of control issues I don't know if there was jealousy, I don't know what your sex life was like. But I mean, why didn't you just get on a normal dating website, why did you go lifestyle.
Guest: Well I didn't necessarily want a commitment. Ironically, it was more of, I tried the marriage thing. It didn't work. I don't want to get serious with somebody, if I can find a husband that will share his wife with me, or a couple husbands that will share that their wives with me, on occasion, you know that would, that would be fun. I get to express myself and give the gift that I have to share with others and, but no serious commitment to relationship. And then of course they're obviously swingers are down to having sex.
Leyna: right, so mark responded to your profile and contacted you. Did you meet up but was it a date, was it more just kind of DTF what what happened,
Guest: pretty much DTF. I sent an email out, and within about a day, Mark responded back, and then he basically vetted me because what he does for a living as HR, he does hiring is quite the interviewer,
Leyna: so he interviewed you to sleep with his wife.
Guest: So I sent him some pictures and he saw the pictures and he thought that they were quite classy, there was some effort into it, they weren't just the dick pics and I was very respectful, which note to all the single guys listening. Yeah, be respectful, the husband and the relationship and have some decent pictures. He told me. Alright now, on Saturday morning, send Vanessa the last picture you sent me, and just introduce yourself, So I did that, and she basically woke up in the morning and looked at her phone and saw a picture of me, so we started texting, and one thing led to another and within a couple hours.
Guest: yeah, yeah, we had set up a date for the next day. I had rented a hotel room, And I'm thinking, oh boy, if she bails on me. I can't afford to just rent this hotel room willy nilly.
Leyna: Right, She just shows up at the hotel. Was there any dating going on, what did you do, was there any courting. Did you buy her dinner.
Guest: Actually she brought dinner. It was takeout because everything was basically shut down, you can take out
Leyna: that’s right.
Guest: Yeah, she brought a bottle of wine, I actually brought a bottle of wine. She brought a pizza actually mark dropped her off.
Leyna: So the husband drops off his wife to a hotel to meet this guy she's never met. That's right, yeah. So she comes into the room, then what
Guest: well first of all, I was standing by her never trusted to her justice. Nice. So we give each other a hug, and then we give each other a passionate kiss then we open a bottle of wine and started talking for a little while on a loveseat. We started making out, and next thing you know we are stripping each other's clothes off as we're going to the bed. That's where it all started.
Leyna: Have you heard consenting adults before?
Guest: I have,
Leyna: so you know what's coming next, right.
Leyna: so tell me what happened.
Guest: And I cover this in the book. I don't hide the embarrassing. We got naked. I got inside of her. No con, I said, you're really taking a chance, but she felt that was safe, but I hadn't had a chance to go down on her, and I really love to go down on a woman, and I've been told by others that I'm quite talented, so I was inside of her, but then I pulled back, and I went down on her, but in the process of going down on her I lost my erection, and I could not get it back.
Leya: That’s just something that happens sometimes right it's not that you didn't enjoy what you were doing.
Guest: Correct. The thing is is that when I meet someone new, it's very difficult for me because they're a stranger to get or maintain an erection. Without, of course, what's called swingers insurance that right. Nice. Yeah, I learned since then that yeah might want to get some of those
Leyna: described to me, what's going through your head I mean this is a woman you just met, and you're down between her legs right now.
Gest: Delicious. That's what I was thinking,
Leyna: and had it been a while since you've done anything.
Guest: Yes, it had been a good year and a half or so
Leyna: was she responsive.
Guest: Oh yes, she is very responsive. I think I hooked her with my tongue. So, yeah, but I couldn't get an erection. So we took a break…
Leyna: Had some pizza,
Guest: had some pizza, right.
Leyna: Was it, was it good pizza.
Guest: Well, I didn't care for it. But we got to know each other better. And then we went back into the rope and I just couldn't get it going. I went down on her several times that night, and she definitely enjoyed it, but then toward the end of, Actually it was the morning at about four in the morning, I was able to get it up. So, I completed the deal for now, in between that time though we spent a lot of time talking and there was just something that clicked, we'd grown up in the same small town, you know, we could relate to each other quite similar religious background Dutch and conservative, we really clicked on a deeper level, and she basically said to me, will you be my boyfriend,
Leyna: and you're kind of just looking for sex.
Guest: Right, well, there's a caveat though, I wanted, I wanted to, I didn't want to just hop around from person to person. I wanted a few regulars that I could depend on, you know, and enjoy and also get to know as friends.
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Leyna: You wanted to have sex with people you actually liked. Yes, so it wasn't just another warm body, but at the same time you didn't want a real commitment, at least not when you started this.
Guest: That's right,
Leyna: because it sounds like right now, You're in somewhat of a committed relationship.
Guest: That is correct.
Leyna: What is the dynamic right now. Do you sleep with other people or just with her.
Guest: I sleep with her, and I play with the two of them together, her husband and her. Leyna: Are you bisexual.
Gest: I am not.
Leyna: Is he?
Guest: a little.
Leyna: How do you know this,
Guest: because he had, he has shared my cock with Vanessa many times, orally can Leyna: Okay, you've got to tell me about this, because you're straight.
Guest: I am I am. But, well, you know. Okay. I am not really looking for that kind of thing. I guess you could say I was like, by curious, to a degree, I'm not afraid of touching, obviously. But Mark really likes to suck my dick, so
Leyna: So you let him.
Guest: I let him.
Leyna: And it's enjoyable to you,
Guest: it is.
Leyna: Can you tell me about the first time that this happened.
Guest: I actually came over to their house, and this was probably the first or second time, we had all three of us been together, and I stayed overnight. There again, it was before I got my insurance. My swingers insurance, so I was having a difficulty, I didn't have a difficulty too much with her anymore but with him involves that tends to complicate things. But it was dark in their room. First she was sucking me while he was inside of her fucking her. Then I felt a different pressure on my cock and that was him sucking it.
Leyna: And what is your response was it sexy or did it freak you out,
Guest: it felt it felt better. There was more pressure. No it didn't freak me out. I just suspected that okay, I don't think that this is her anymore. But it worked.
Guest: it got me really erect and we were able to perform together with her.
Leyna: So performing together with her. What's the configuration here
Guest: Ee like to make Vanessa sandwiches,
Leyna: So you're really the MFM.
Guest: Yes, we enjoy giving her DVP
Guest: double vaginal, we do DP every once in a while but logistically it's just doesn't work as well. Double vegetable is a staple of our interaction.
Leyna: Had she done that before.
Guest: She had never had an MFM of any kind, and she had never had DVP or DP, until I came along and, and she had never been with her husband, and another man.
Guest: so I mean these, this is our first for the two of them as well as for me, but they were in the lifestyle they were for five years prior to meeting me, and she was just like a hot wife or what was their dynamic before they would play with couples but found that it was hard to find a four way connection. Right. So, they usually played separately.
Leyna: Okay so, you found that when he went down on you. It felt better. Did you return the favor. Did you do anything with him.
Guest: Not that night, but at one point I I did return the favor, just to give it a try.
Guest: and, yeah, I felt kind of sexy.
Leyna: You felt sexy.
Guest: I did feel sexy doing so.
Leyna: Wow. So you felt kind of naughty,
Guest: Yes I felt naughty.
Leyna: You enjoyed doing it then.
Guest: Yes, but it's not something that I, I do.
Leyna: So it's situational like if, if the situation is sexy enough, you could get into it,
Guest: I, if the mood strikes me, or put it that way. Now, I do, I do caress him, for example, Vanessa is on top of him, and he's penetrating her, I do kiss her, kiss down her back and lick her anus and and lick around her vagina and part of his shaft. Sometimes I'll, I'll like his balls too. It's just mainly to be active and you wouldn't do it if you did enjoy it, right, true I love, I obviously I'm a giver, even though I'm not I don't consider myself bisexual, per se, but I'm still a giver and I believe in providing an experience for whoever I'm with.
Leyna: So you went from your divorce, and COVID happened, then you met Vanessa and Mark and you had this thing going. Did you experience anyone else during this time,
Guest: we did.
Leyna: Why you say we,
Guest: I did not separately.
Guest: though, Mark knew a couple, he had played with them before alone in an MFM and they invited the three of us over. And so we had a five way, three men two women.
Leyna: How was that
Guest: very enjoyable, and it was great. That was the first time I saw Vanessa with someone other than me or her husband, and that was enjoyable to see too.
Leyna: Oh, so you really have developed a relationship with her.
Guest I have, yes.
Leyna: Do you love her.
Leyna: Oh, does she know this.
Leya: Does he know this.
Guest: Yes he does.
Leyna: Wow. And everyone's okay with it.
Guest: It took a while. I mean, she used to be a hot wife never having any emotion for whoever she was with. and here I come along and Yeah Mark starts wondering well why don't you want to be with anybody else things develop to the point where, where it was obvious that we were in love. Mark and I basically in love with Vanessa, the same woman to Mark's credit, because obviously he doesn't know what happens when I'm with Vanessa alone, so we he doesn't really know everything that we talked about and how the relationship was developing. So, it took some time for him to get wrap his head around this, but he loves me, and I love him. We're very good friends, and he accepts it because he knows that I will not steal her from him. There's no threat there to their marriage. You have a question.
Leyna: Well I’m trying to figure out so you know when, when you say that he knows there's no threat. Well how does he know that because if you think about it, you weren't looking for a relationship nothing committed nothing exclusive, and then you find yourself kind of in a relationship right now. Right. And then certainly you weren't looking to fall in love with anyone and then fell in love. So when you say, well, he knows there's no threat he knows I'm not going to do this. How does anyone really know.
Guest: Right. So that is a very good point, and I guess that comes down to trust. We've learned to trust each other. I have, obviously, an ethic, I will not get him and I told him this right away. I will not get in between him and her. And in fact, when Vanessa and I were falling in love before I had actually been invited over to their house, and that was about two months into our relationship. I actually called him up and asked him to have a beer with me, so that we could just talk, we talked about Vanessa and he was very positive about what I was doing with her. As far as expanding her horizons with Toy Play, and with anal sex, and that type of thing. And obviously then when the three of us started playing together. I expanded horizons, more.
Leyna: Speaking of the toys and all that other stuff that you're talking about. I've got your book open up right now. Will you turn to a page with me because I'd like to hear you read this, alright I'm looking at page 13 Page 13 And at some point, we did 69 with her on the bottom.
Guest: Okay. Oh, my God, that indented paragraph Correct,
Leyna: yes. can you read that for me.
Guest: Okay. At some point we did 69 with her on the bottom, her sweet mouth enveloped my cock, as I ate her count licking her to orgasm and following up with a strenuous sweaty Fox session. I picked up a little vibe, and took it out to tease her clit and pussy during another session. Of course I also use my tongue, but focused on her sexy milk policy with a vibrator. She once again rhymes with pleasure, as the euphoria of orgasm washed over her. During one session while taking her from behind. I got out my silicone base loop and started fingering her ass. I could feel my heartbeat. From my cock with my finger in her ass, as I was inside her vagina. She had a tight asshole. She told me I'd have my work cut out for me if I wanted to train her to take something bigger.
Leyna: Okay then.
Guest: So these are highlights of of different sessions that we had had,
Leyna: what do you do for a living.
Guest: I drive a truck,
Leyna: you do. Yes. Wow. And I, and I don't mean anything other than, it just, it is so,
like, a typical right.
Leyna: Like you don't think of truck drivers as Swingers, or maybe you do. I don't know I guess I didn't. But also, you express yourself in a way that is so, like, an you know, I guess I don't know how to put it that just really surprises me. Why did you start writing this?
Guest: Mark loves to hear reports of his wife's activities, so I said I would write a report for him. Every time we were together. Oh, but I was, I told him that I'm going to write it in a way, with a view to publishing it in a book, what you have in front of you is not the reports, but they, but it's an expansion of the report that I gave, Mark.
Leyna: what kind of feedback have you gotten from him when he reads it does he like it. Guest: Oh, he can't get enough.
Leyna: How often do you see each other.
Guest: I see Vanessa or mark and Vanessa together at least once a week.
Leyna: Do you feel like you found your tribe?
Guest: the start of one…I always.
Leyna: What does that mean, are you looking for are you looking to broaden your horizons.
Guest: I think the three of us are looking for others who are friends and lovers, that we can regularly go to and hang out with and that would be great to find another couple or two maybe a single girl.
Leyna: So it's almost like the poly, the triad that you have right now, you're looking to be swingers. That's right, we are we are open, we do swing you responded to me because you I think heard something on. I was looking for Christian swingers is that was that right,
Guest: that's right at the tail end of episode double oh seven, you, you had said, I know that there's Christian swingers out there, and I'd like to hear from you. So,
Leyna: well I'm so glad you reached out, I've heard from so many people who grew up in a very religious family and thought this was all wrong, and had to leave the church to continue living in the lifestyle, where are you in all of that, how do you, you know, reconcile all this with your faith. Are you still a Christian.
Guest: I am a Christian.
Leyna: And you're still a swinger.
Guest: I am and my couple is also, are there a lot of you out there. That's a good question. I'm not sure. I just happened by God's hand, I would say, happened to meet Vanessa and Mark, I guess it was meant to be in a certain sense,
Leyna: but how do you make it made sense in your heart and your head that way, because you know, most people would say that this is not right.
Guest: Right, correct. I first have to state that the Word of God is the Bible written through man but is still the Word of God is the treasure map to the treasure, and in order to get to the treasure you have to follow the treasure map. Now having said that, your previous interview, he was right that it doesn't talk about swinging, and it doesn't forbid swinging it forbids adultery and fornication and adultery is the stealing of another person's spouse. So as long as that spouse has permission, and the knowledge of the other of the other spouse, I don't believe that that's a sinful act in and of itself.
Leyna: how about any homosexuality.
Guest: I believe the Bible is quite clear that homosexuality is not natural, because God made a male and a female, to be together. Does that mean that there isn't forgiveness, and redemption in Jesus. No, there is, and people have homosexual ideas, thoughts, desires, and sometimes they act out on that. But there's mercy and forgiveness.
Leyna: But if you keep on doing it, but if you…
Guest: Yeah, yeah, that's the thing.
Leyna: If you keep on doing it.
Leyna: Then, then, you know, how did, how is that okay if you keep on sinning, knowing that it's a sin
Guest: And some of your listeners might be upset at the statement but I believe the Bible is clear that it's not okay. Homosexuality is NOT okay. But you still participate. I believe that there is a line though, and where that line is drawn it is hard to define, biblically, can I touch another man can I love another man can a woman love another woman. You know there's degrees to that can we kiss, I would say that on the kissing side and maybe even on the touching side isn't necessarily sinful, I think it's the actual act of sexual penetration, that is probably the most
Leyna: the most sinful.
Guest: If you want to use that term Yes, that is that God was intending to communicate that yeah guy, penetrating another guy from behind is not, it's not something that interesting. Leyna: So then, but then you would draw the line there you would not do that.
Guest: Yeah and, yes, definitely. I wouldn't, I would draw the line there is something that we do is not sinful in itself. However, we can sin while doing it. There's a difference there. For example, it's not a sin to have a glass of wine, but to get drunk. It is a sin. You understand, And when we, and what we do when we're drunk is, can also lead to sin. And the same thing goes for sex, sex is not sinful and sex among people, even if they are married isn't necessarily sinful, but we can sin by being selfish, engaging in that sucks for our own pleasure, regardless of that other person that other humanity. I approach it from a slightly different angle. In that, I believe God gave me a gift that I can give others, and as long as it's in an ethically done manner. My pleasure is derived from giving that gift to others and giving pleasure to others as opposed to taking it from myself,
Leyna: so he's kind of like the single swinger Santa. You could look him up by searching David weld and hot wife dating diaries. All right, next time on Consenting Adults, a shy woman with some sexual trauma in her past has found her voice, and the lifestyle. She's now a whole new woman from the first experience on.
Guest: I've had a really wonderful first experience of a threesome with this bouncer, Leyna: what you looked up with the bouncer at the club.
Leyna: Oh my goodness. Wow, perks of the job I guess. Oh, but there's a lot more to that story. That's next time on Consenting Adults.
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