Ep 47 The Confident Cuck

He isn't the stereotypical cuckold.  Strong and confident, Gian explains why letting the woman take control requires courage and confidence, and what turns him on about "cleaning up" after his woman has been with someone else.  He talks about the changes he sees in his girlfriend's body after she's been with a well-endowed man and why in the end--it's the cuck who wins.

EP 047 - The Confident Cuck
Transcription:

00:00:01 - 00:05:00
 
(Sizzle Reel)
I've always thought that oral sex is much more intimate than penetrative sex. Just because you you have your face right down there in their privates. I mean you really get to know someone when you're down there. No matter how good I fucked. No matter how good I did. He was still more important to her on a different level and a lot of times when people see cuckolding porn to them. It's just physical. They don't see it as emotional for sure. And that's hard to explain hearing how much bigger he was feeling much better she is. She's actually kind of tighter a lot times because she’s all swollen from having a much bigger cock.  started have sex and I started to go even harder and then I didn't notice that her husband had come back until until I heard him crack the beer open.  filled up with this huge taking a huge load. And then I can come in there and not just know that it happened from our dirty talk but taste the difference in her pussy, feel how swollen she has feel how wet she is. If you knew that it turns your woman on you would go down on the bull for her and in and if you saw that drove her crazy or whatever that in turn would turn you on. Yeah for sure. Also not into pegging. But I would definitely do that. I mean I've heard talk about pegging and it seems so hot for the woman and I wish I could provide that but I'm just not made enough to do that. I'm pretty strong. But I can't take that even if she had this six four guy with a ten inch dick who fucked for three hours and you know she sees me and she wants me there. She wants me to be that deep down in her. She wants me to be eating her pussy and making her she wants to have that intimate orgasm. Get ready. This is Consenting Adults
 
(Podcast Show Open)
 
Leyna:             My guest today is a social worker in the lifestyle known on twitter as the confident cuck which would seem like an oxymoron right to the layperson whatever they know about cuckolding or whatever they think they know about cuckolding because sometimes it involves humiliation chastity and other activities that people don't correlate with confidence but I'm hoping today's guests might change your mind by sharing his story. His name is Gian. I'm sure that you would agree with me. That a lot of people don't understand cuckolding right. Guest:                  That is very true and for a while too. I didn't understand it. I don’t think that anyone's just born knowing it right away. It definitely takes a little bit of time to really get past the presentations that we have and get into actually the lifestyle of it and what it means when you're outside of the medium of entertainment.
Leyna:             Looking back, you know growing up your teen years… Maybe even preteen years. Do you see anything--Do you remember anything that kinda hinted to these kinks that you have?
Guest:             I was even in my younger years, s I was developing in adolescence and everything I was definitely a little bit atypical-- a little bit off over-sexual compared to some of my peers. And I was always interested in very different things than other people were. I always, Leyna:             Like what?
Guest:             Yes so I always noticed. A lot of girls would get called sluts—if they were with a lot of guys and I was more turned onto those girls. All the guys would be --Oh God. Could you believe she slept with xyz. ? And I'll be. Oh really. Well I wanna I wanna be the next letter. The other part of it is. I had a girlfriend who was what I now know is called the size queen. She was very much into with larger cocks.  I’m not extremely small-- a little bit above average but she really wanted much larger cocks and
Leyna:              Did she actually tell you that?
Guest:             She actually the first time that she went down my pants. She actually got up out of the room and like laughed --she's like I'm not used to that and like she told me what she was used to like..” All the guys I've been with have at least ten inches” and she was..I mean it was-- I was very much kinda flabbergasted at first .
Leyna:              l but it turned you on.
Guest:             It hurt me a little bit but it also turned me on so it was both at the same time and that was very weird for me to go through as a young a young adult not understanding these feelings right.
Leyna:                Did you think that those were not normal for sure for a long time.
Guest:             I thought it was a very abnormal. That I was turned on for lack of a better word because of the more slutty girl… was more promiscuous, she was the more in touch with their sexuality in having a level of insatiable -bility that she could never be satisfied. She always wanted more.
 
00:05:00 - 00:10:04
 
That turned me on that somebody that was so in touch with their sexuality in my head it was kind of like this almost like a like a queen like royalty like. Oh this is so you know. Almost like a god-like this divinity is so beautiful this woman that so in touch with their sexuality and as I started to look at my sexuality.   I'm very much pleaser so when I’m wanting to do anything to provide that.  It definitely led me into cuckolding and I I. I saw the porn. And I was very much like oh I can't be into this. I'm a very masculine athletic. Confident confident man. There's no way that I could be into some of this porn that I saw with all the humiliation and people being used as ashtrays on --not to put down anybody but just I'm not into so it was very—it took me a long time to get into it and the epiphany that I had was actually with one of your previous guests-- with finding VenusCuckoldress’s blog.  And once I heard from a female's perspective how she could love somebody that also allowed her for her own promiscuity. That really changed my mind on things and that kind of led me to develop my confidence.
Leyna: Let's talk about the first relationship in which you were able to explore this without any shame.
Guest              Yeah the first one that I had without any shame was so I've been about five years In my initial relationship. That I got into where we had an open relationship. At first it wasn't necessarily a cuckold relationship It was just an open relationship. We were just hooking up at the time and then we had friends that were judging us for different reasons about not dating and we both wanted each other to be open. I had been open with her about some of my fantasies and stuff so we decided to have an open relationship and the first time that we did anything it was actually with another female because she really wanted a woman there and she was very interested in hooking up with a woman and that was definitely very pleasurable and then we had a few other times where we got some men involved and we had a. We had a lot of fun. You can ask more specifics. And I can go into that you.
Leyna: You already know me. Had a lot of fun--  but that's not really cuckolding. Though right? I mean. A lot of young people experiment with threesomes right? Tell me about the experience and what about it like really turns you on other than the fact that. Hey you're you're doing this.
Guest:             So I think it might help to go over a few different experiences so the first one I think would be my first experience with holding before I was actually into the lifestyle and realized that I really liked it. I actually found a couple that wanted a bull. This man wanted somebody to come over and fuck his wife in front of him. And I did that. I came over. It was a little bit scary to be honest we were out in the boondocks was very rural area. And there was an axe in a tree trunk. When I walked in so I was like what is about to happen?  But I came in and they were both really nice We started talking for a little bit not really too much dirty talk just just getting to know each other a little bit and then he said he was going to go out for a pack of smokes. And he left and she started to come onto me and she told me the only rule they have is no kissing on the lips. And I said okay and from there we started to get very aggressive. She started to go down on me. And I started to tell her what a slut she was for her husband. And how much of a bad girl she was being… different dirty talk like that. You know we started to have sex. And I started making go even harder that I didn't notice that her husband had come back until until I heard him crack open the beer.   I turn to look over and see him and that's when she noticed him as well too.
Leyna: Did that freak you out?
Guest:             A little bit and the thing that I noticed though in that moment was she lit up she was having a good time with me beforehand and it was very reminiscent of other, you know just just a vanilla sex that I've had with just a little bit of dirty talk but. When she saw him she lit up and it wasn't long after that that she finished. I finished and then we were all sitting there naked and stuff. And she snuggled with me for a little bit and then once he got her a beer then she came over and she put a blanket over and then they kind of walked me out and I remember thinking after that --how lucky that guy was. I still haven't realized that I liked cuckolding and stuff.  like I knew it was kind of a but I didn't think I could ever be the cuckold. Just 'cause I was like too masculine for that. But I kept thinking. Damn how lucky the guy-- he gets her all night her pussy go down on her after that like, It's it just seems so erotic. And I felt like I was missing out from something.
Leyna: So you thought he was lucky because now he gets to be with her after she was with you.
Guest:             Yeah and it was like no matter how good I fucked her. No matter how good I did-- he was still more important to her on a different level and seeing that connection that they had that the size that even though I was much bigger than him in size, penis an body --That wasn't enough to pull her away that he could provide her with everything that I have plus more by giving her this openness in the relationship and then I started look back on my previous relationships and like oh you know that's when I realized oh I could have been a cuckold.  That maybe I would not have as many issues in relationship and I totally would have been okay with that.
 
00:10:04 - 00:15:03
 
And that's when. I started to get into more and do more research and try to see.
Leyna: Okay so what is this what you know. It's not like she humiliated him.
Guest:             She didn't do anything crazy. Not that there's anything against those things again, but it's not as much for me. She told him a little bit. Like how much bigger I was. And then afterwards he had her all night.
Leyna: I see okay. Let's get into… Because I realize there's a spectrum and a wide range of cuckold activities what are you into? What are you…
Guest:             So I have 4 categories stag, cuck, beta, and then sissy for it. So I think for stag and cuck there isn't as much necessarily of the beta sissy humiliation feminization. That's kind of all in one camp. Whereas a stag cuckold is much more on the sexuality of of the woman. I'm much more a cuck, and I say that instead of a stag to be honest I hate the term stag. So many people use it for different definitions.
Leyna: Right, I think I've heard it before. But I'm not sure what is stag?  It's just someone who allows their woman to be with someone else?
Guest:             So a lot of people use it a lot of different ways. When I define cuckolding I define cuckolding as a one way non monogamous relationships one side of it's monogamous. One side isn't. So stags normally fall under that but then you'll find a lot of stags who don't their
relationship isn't cuckolding it's swinging so they both hook up. So it's a little bit different but the way the stags are in the cuckold sphere--the ones that I've talked to like that, it seems like their focus is the male watching his woman get off, and the male getting off--it's all male centric.  a lot of times the male will decide his wife's partners if he's a stag and he'll have a lot more control  it in. There's very rarely humiliation although some guys will do humiliation but say they're not a cuckold so it's okay.   Whereas with cuckolding. It's not really humiliation. It's much more play.  When you get into the beta and sissy it kinda gets to humiliation.
Leyna:             Where you are in that spectrum?
Guest:             Where I find myself-  I like to give my partner control of everything. I am focused on her sexuality. And I think the biggest difference between the beta and the cuckold is a stag focused on the male sexuality in the experience and the cuckold is focused on the female sexuality completely.
Leyna:              But what I want to know is,  what are kind of the activities that you enjoy... like, do you enjoy humiliation?
Guest:             For me  it's not necessarily humiliation. It's more admiration of someone else. I don't like to necessarily know how small and tiny. I am mainly because I'm not that small and tiny so it doesn't really hit me that hard because I don't have the reality doesn't set in for me but if my partner has a bigger man with her if she has a man with a ten inch cock and she says "oh baby this is so much bigger than you He's so much stronger than you as she puts her hands on his body and you know that is really erotic to me. So I like that side of it. I also do chastity play a lot but all this stuff to me reaffirms my masculinity. I find masculinity in it so I don't as much see humiliation more so just the empowerment of my women and seeing that she's getting a bigger cock. She's getting a stronger man. She's getting a fuck down that maybe I don't provide. Maybe I provide a lot of other things.  But she's getting something else too  because she is  that sexually hungry for it so, I liked feeding that as much as I can and giving her control. To answer question more specifically too, I don't like to participate  as much. I'm a much more one on  one person  intimately and that's how most of my partners have been, so I would rather either hear about the circumstance after-- Like pick up my girlfriend from our bull's house and hear about you know what they did that night and then we can play together. Or if I'm there I would rather --the ideal situation is to be sitting back you  know in the nice armchair having  my whiskey in one hand and my cigar on the other hand and just watching them go to town. And I'm kind of in the shadow so they don't really notice me and then when the bull finishes and I can come in to a provide all the services that I provide for my wife or girlfriend. Obviously I'm not currently married.
Leyna:             What services are we talking about Gian?!
Guest:             Oh I think you know some of the services one of them would be for sure um clean up. That is the best.  I love after my wife has been with a bull --excuse me, my girlfriend has been with a bull. I say that automatically just because you know kind of in the lifestyle "hotwife" gets thrown  around a lot.  But when I have my woman there and she's covered in sweat where she's covered in or filled up with his cum and she's just used completely. You know her nipples are always really hard. Her pussy's always really swollen. And she is just in that moment-- It's not like a man where when he cums he's kinda out for the night. She is still--you know it's kind of like a steak where you have it still resting. It's still cooking a little bit on the counter. So I like to come in at that time. That is where I thrive. Let go down on you let me make out with you. 
 
00:15:05 – 00:20:00
 
Let me dirty talk you. Like use me however you wish. And a lotta times that's when I'll have sex. That's when all actually have penetration. And I love hearing you know how much bigger he was...I love feeling how much  wetter she is.  She's actually kind of tighter a lot of times because her pussy gets swollen from having a much bigger cock and a lot of times I'll come really quick but she's already been finished  he's already had a night so I  can kind of get my release and  finish off and me ending quickly--She feels powerful about that, that she was able to make the orgasm come out of me that quickly. And I feel good just completely giving up or completely devoting my sexuality to her just saying okay you are gonna completely control this thing. I'm gonna do whatever whatever makes you happy and get you off.
Leyna:    Because I talked to someone on the female side about this cream pie up thing and I was actually able to kind of get to the bottom of what it was that turned her on about it... but I would love to hear something more-- something to help me understand. Maybe actually something to help the male listener who's not a cuckold try to understand what it's like. Like what do you enjoy  about that. So when your woman has just had sex  with another  man and you go down on her...What are you experiencing that turns you on so much?
Guest:              Yeah that's a great question.
Leyna:              Like do you do taste it?  I mean you I'm going to have to ask really graphic questions.
Guest:             That is totally okay. So there's one caveat. I just wanna say for me personally. I don't do anything with the bulls. I have experimented around with men in the past --it's just not for me  personally. If a bull just jerked off,  I wouldn't want to eat his cum--that doesn't turn me on at all but when he comes inside of my wife there's a transformation there . When he comes inside of my partner.  He fills her up with cum and all the partners that I've been with they love when a man cums inside  them and they  loved being filled up and they love a lot of cum. They love you know, feeling it deep inside of them. So when I know that she's had that feeling that she's had that ultimate satisfaction of you know having multiple orgasms squirting all night and being filled up with you know this huge cock and taking a huge load and then I can come in there and not just know that it happened from a story or dirty talk but taste the difference in how her pussy is , you feel how swollen she is, feel how wet she is, feel how just erotic that moment is.  And then I feel her legs wrapped  around me and when she pulls me in with her heels. What I feel is that even after she had that -- even if she had this 6'4  guy with a ten inch dick who fucked her for three hours and you how  she sees me and she wants  me there.  She wants me to be that deep down in her. She wants me to be eating her pussy and making her cum again she wants to have that intimate orgasm. Not just the penetration orgasm but that intimate clitoral stimulation orgasm right in her man's her mouth. And then I can be right there and fully take it whether it's you know their cum  mixed together her squirting or whatever it is there's a transformation that goes on. I jokingly call it the nectar of the gods because it's so beautiful and so it's not the best term. I'm not gonna lie. We got to work in the community to have better terms in the cuckolding sphere. But yeah I find it super erotic just that even after that--She wants me and I've always personally, This might just be me,  I've always thought that oral sex is much more intimate than penetrative sex. Just because you have your face right down there in their private meeting early to know someone when you're down there. I agree and I think a lot of people.
Leyna:             A lot of people would would agree with you because there are couples who have different rules where penetrations fine but nor no oral sex or or some people don't like kissing right when you're with your with a person who was rule. Only rule was no kissing on the mouth. And you would think well you don't wanna kiss on the mouth but you'll put your mouth on my genitals. Yep because everyone has a different feeling of what's intimate. I find it really interesting that it's this feeling of  so, she's had all that and yet here she is she wants me.
Guest:             Yes yes
Leyna:             And a lot of times when people see cuckolding porn to them as just physical. They don't see as emotional
Guest:             For sure.  And that's hard to explain on that note to there is definitely a separation  from the physical and the emotional for example. I said that. I don't prefer to do anything with the bull. If I had a woman who really loved that. I haven't been with many women that are into this but if I had a woman that really loved that and she really wanted to see that.  Even though. I didn't want to do that where she wanted me to participate. I would love to give her that. Get be like. Hey I will you know this is. This is not you know a physical thing that I want to do. It's not a sexy thing that necessarily want. I wanna give you that gift. You know because it's an emotional thing that I'm giving you. I wanna live with my partner. I don't just wanna fuck my partner. So I also have to be able to go to the grocery store with them. 
 
00:20:00 – 00:25:03
 
I have to be able to do all that stuff. And if we can do that with my kink being apparently being  in the background as  well as their sexuality and we can kind of fuse those  together than I think you get some some really  beautiful  relationships there.
Leyna:       So you would for instance even though you have really no interest in bisexual play if you knew that it turned your woman on You would go down the bull for her and if you saw that that drove her crazy or whatever that in turn would turn you on. Guest:  Yeah for sure. I'm also not in the pegging but I would definitely do that. I've heard women talk about pegging and it seems so hot for the woman. And I wish I could provide that but I'm just not made enough to do that. I'm pretty strong. But I can't take that.
Leyna:  Is this so much a part of you now that it really is something that is a must in your life.
Guest:             Yes I would say that Going back just to the sexuality thing. I don't really see myself necessarily as gay or straight. It's not really important to me. I'm focus on having relationships with women very female sexuality and stuff. So whatever happens after. That doesn't really matter too much to my identity being cuckold as part of my identity having said that if my partner wants to be with the woman if she wants to be with a man if she wants to be with She just wants whatever she wants to get her off. I'm very much on her. But I don't think I ever want a relationship where I couldn't  let this part  of maybe  known and express it and share it with a partner who was also willing and enthusiastic.
Leyna:             Can you explain chastity to me.
Guest:             I would love to.
Leyna:             I don't understand. Explain it in. You’re into it?
Guest:  Yes oh yes. Oh yes yes. I love it. It's it's something. I found actually in the last year I was very much confused by it as well and then I started reading up more on it and I decided to me and my partner. We decided to get a cage. Wants in from there. We've gone we love it. There's a few different aspects to chastity. That I really like the first part is the key. Having my partner have a key around her neck all day long. Something that symbolizes relationship in you know in a kinky way but also kind of subtle way and whenever anyone asks about it she says it's the key to your heart which isn't necessarily a lie. The the lock that we have is a hear shaped. And then for me.  The way that I see it is I have her embracing  me all day  long whenever I have it on that. She is right there with me no matter what. My cock is always in her grasp and the fact that she wants to lock it up makes it feel like my caucus so much special. I mean she might have a lot of different bowl. She might be fucking free four or five guys in a night. Whatever I am the only he that she has around her neck. I am the only hagia she has for her. And that makes me feel so wanted to and then the third part about it is. It's something to do I personally can't sleep with it. It's a little bit uncomfortable. So each night I take it off when when my partner and I go to bed.  Actually she takes it off but only go to bed and then wait wait.
Leyna:             You wear this cage all day?
Guest              Yeah yeah
Leyna:             Are you wearing right now.
Guest:             Yes m’mam.
Leyna:             Wow
Guest:             She’s wearing her key right now. Is it a reminder…
Leyna:             Do you feel it when you wear it throughout the day. Do you feel that cage?
Guest:             So I’m a a grower more than a shower so I like the metal cages. I'm not into the plastic  ones at all.  I definitely feel it every day. The weight of it. It's tight on me. It's it's holding me in there. It's not Uncomfortable in any way at all and when she puts it on me in the morning if feels to me. It's kind of like almost like a ritual. Like I don her around her neck and then she locks Like I don her around her neck and then she locks me up and it feels like I'm putting on my suit of armor for the day like I'm a night going out to serve my queen and I love that aspect of it and then yeah yeah I do feel it out through the day. Sometimes I’ll get horny or erotic especially when she sends me some dirty dirty pictures and that always makes me a little bit a little bit hard in the cage which I do appreciate.
Leyna:             It's not uncomfortable or painful.
Guest:             There is some pain there but I like a little bit of pain. It's not like hurting pain. It's whenever I feel the pain. I feel the reason that. I'm feeling like I'm turned on and I'm horny. I have gotten just pseudo erections just erections without being turned on all. And when I don't have when I don't have that emotional state there. It definitely does a little bit more. It starts because like I said. I'm a grower not a shower so it it starts to get very strained in the cage and  it hurts but if I'm turned  on and  I'm into  it and you know I know that you know I'm that this erection  is being grasped by my girlfriend.  Even though she's not there she still has control over my cock. She still has my hard cock in her hand. And a firm grasp that is erotic to me.
Leyna:              Have you ever Have you ever had an orgasm inside your cage?
Guest:             Recently we We were able to get that done on. It took a while but yeah it was very intense very intense. It's very hard to do. Normally there's a lot of teasing and then She'll take me out when she feels appropriate, or she’ll let me cool off and then start the process over again to build it up But yeah I have had a a couple not too many. But it's it'shard to do but we found just the right spot that if you do it this way then it doesn't take too long after that. 
 
00:25:04 – 00:27:24
 
Leyna:             What what does she do.
Guest:             So there's one spot that have under. My penis head about three quarters up and we found out in our play without chastity that if she just rubs that spot that I go nuts and it's like a secret button that I have. She's actually just played with that     spot so she doesn't really like stroke  too much or  blow me too much just focuses on that one spo. Then lick my balls. Those two areas really get me going. And so she just did the same thing inside the cage she just rubbed my balls and then she rub that spot or she licked my balls. Just back and forth until I literally  exploded in it.  It went pretty. It was a pretty intense when it kind of exploded. Everywhere but yeah it was very intense.
Leyna:             Is there anything that you haven't done yet that that you would like to do any fantasies leftover that you haven't fulfilled.
Guest:              It's more than I want to go deeper on things. I've already done if that makes sense. I haven't had the best luck with bulls and my partner.  And I just because the partners that  I tend to be with tend  to be very specific and  intimate and  a lot of  times. My play sessions have turned into Threesomes where I end up participating  very much not as much  in the observer role that as much in the supportive role which is something that I do want to dive into.
Leyna:             Okay. So what you're saying. Is you would like to participate less.
Guest: 
I would like the roles to be more distinct. I want her focus to be there.  And I don't want it to be the  guy's using her  to get off. I want it to be her using her.  We want to get off. And I want her  to get off very much on his size and I  don't want her to get very much off on how quick I come for her. And how devoted to her. And how loyal I am to her.
Leyna:
Gian shares his story in hopes of de stigmatizing cuckolding. So if you'd like to follow him and take a look at his blog just find him on twitter at the confident cuck. Next time on Consenting Adults a woman  talks to us about the struggles  she and her fiance had with jealousy in the lifestyle and she also talks to us about figuring out what she wants and discovering her sexuality.
Guest: I love playing with women. My favorite dynamic is a threesome. And I love that. Because I love women I just love our bodies and our forms but I really love to so I feel like I need both in that part of the equation but I've never explored so I'm not gonna rule it out.
Leyna:             That's next time on Consenting Adults adults.