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A woman shares how she became a cuckoldress and grew to love a sexual dynamic where she sleeps with other men and comes back to her boyfriend to quite literally, "stick it in his face." Venus explains humiliation, cream pie clean-up, the difference between a hotwife and a cuckoldress, and why cuckolding is often misunderstood even within the lifestyle.
EP 042 - Venus Cuckoldress
00:00:01 - 00:05:16
Wait a minute what? You want me to tease you about the size of your penis, like what? I feel like I'm being mean. Girl, do you have muscles like, is it a trap door? Or is it like next room you jump in or he was there and then right after. Like time wise, what are we talking about? Like if you have to get into your car and drive home is there anything to clean up? No probably not. I was in love with him. He was in love with me. And then there was this guy who was pushing these buttons for us and the whole experience was so intimate and erotic. If your husband or boyfriend was just having sex with someone else ss there any turn on for you to then be with him. Go down on him whatever. Oh hell no. Right?! Aside from that is they're also something sexual about it that's that's a turn on? Oh totally. And it's hard to explain isn't it? So when something turns you on is sometimes hard to explain why it turns you on. It just does right. Yeah exactly. There are cucks who love it when their wife or girlfriend will come home after being with a bull, they’ll come home and they'll just eat their pussy and it's full of cum of another guy’s cum. Get ready. This is Consenting Adults.
(Podcast Show Open)
Leyna: My guest today is Venus. She's got it. Oh baby she's got it. She is a forty three year old from Canada. What is it about Canada. I mean there are a lot of people in the lifestyle up there. Venus, is it in the water?
Guest: There's definitely something going on up here. That's for sure.
Leyna: Yeah you guys have a lot of fun. Okay. We've had a guest on this show qho was the male half of the cuckold relationship. And I think people who are not familiar with it have a hard time differentiating between a cuckolddress and a hotwife. Can you tell me what the difference is? I mean what makes you a cuckoldress rather than just a hotwife who's you know without your partner, you're able to have sex with other men.
Guest: Yeah you know. There's a lot of overlap. So I can see why there is this confusion of like what's this versus what's that and for me, I think the the simple things to differentiate hotwife and a cuckoldress would be that with a cuckoldress, it's really all about her sexuality and her empowerment whereas with a hotwife, my idea of it is that it's a lot about the husband and them, I guess together and so there's no kind of like teasing or humiliation or kind of power exchange or anything like that going on with hotwifing. That's not to say that there's a lot of that within cuckolding but it's just seems like that would be the easiest way to define those two things. But there's so much overlap and there's so much gray area in between them and there's it's very fluid between relationships so you could start out hotwifing and up cuckolding.
Leyna: Okay okay So let's let's dive in here you, ou're currently single. Were you ever married?
Guest: I was yes. Yes I was married before.
Leyna: And were you both in the lifestyle or is this something that you found after your marriage.
Guest: This is something I've found. After my marriage it was kind of by fluke, actually.
Leyna: You accidentally ran into it.
Guest: You know before this I had no idea that this kind of relationship even existed. It was something that always appealed to me. The idea of it. But I didn't think it was actually a thing so when I bumped into this guy who was explaining it to me I was just like oh my god what? You you want this?
Leyna: Okay so was it someone that you were dating?
Guest: Yeah it was somebody that I had met actually on a dating site and and quite early on he was explaining this to me because in my dating profile I mentioned that I'm not a fan of monogamy and I don't plan to be and so I think that that was kind of his idea of like,
00:05:16 - 00:10:01
Oh she might be open to a cuckolding kind of relationship . And so yeah he he was explaining it to me and I was just floored like.
Leyna: Now when he was explaining it to you was he telling you like what he wanted? What turned him on?
Guest: Yes there was a lot of this kind of sharing of fantasies. And these are fantasies of his that I had never heard of before.
Leyna: Like what?
Guest: Like listening on the phone when I'm with a bull or like the teasing that comes along and sexual denial a little bit of sexual denial not much but a little bit. And these kinds of things that I'd never really heard of before that I've found intriguing and exciting and I was on board.
Leyna: Okay so you like not ever did you have like a thought in your mind, like whoa wait a second like, is he weird? Why would a man want that? Did you ever think that?
Guest: No. And that is an atypical kind of response that I had Because I I basically just dove in headfirst into it yeah. Most women are a little bit more skeptical or a lot more skeptical Leyna: Right so you had never heard of this for before meeting this guy. It sounds a little intriguing. Can you tell me about like the first cuckolding experience you ever had?
Guest: When we first started dating I was still kind of like I always have a few friends with benefits partners going on in my life, and so that continued but there wasn't really and he loved the fact that I was going out these guys. But there wasn't any kind of like I guess what you'd call a cuckolding experience until I had him listen on the phone when I met up with somebody and this was the first time that I'd ever done something like that before so I was nervous about it, obviously this was a new bull who was already familiar with cuckolding kind of dynamics so I didn't know him well but he kind of had an idea of what things were like between myself and my boyfriend at the time. And I walked into that scenario thinking that it was going to be this kind of step bu step scenario and it would be fun but I had no idea how much that experience was gonna blow my mind. And it was that experience that is the reason why I talk about my love for this kind of relationship and why have for the past six years because it wasn't just a step by step thing fun experience. It was something else on a whole different level and it's because of that relationship. It was because I was in love with him. He was in love with me. And then there was this guy who was pushing these buttons for us and the whole experience was so intimate and erotic and afterwards I just felt like I was on cloud nine for like three days after that.
Leyna: And so you feel like whatever it is about this cuckolding activity actually brought you guys closer?
Guest: It did, it totally did. Right after that expe- that first experience. I remember my boyfriend saying I feel like I trust you even more now. Which is-- it sounded like it would be hard to do that because we already had immense trust with each other. But I guess going through an experience like that together. That was so bonding it was like solidifying our relationship. It was like you've experienced this magical thing together and that in itself is so special that you will never be able to forget that. Like it was so it was a turning point for me in my life.
Leyna: Wow okay so you started with, it starts off with just his listening in on the phone while you're having sex with someone else.
Guest: Yes yes.
Leyna: Did it escalate into something else?
Guest: Well not right away. I mean for me and it still is like this today. The most fun parts of this kind of relationship aren't necessarily those super sexual moments. It is a lot of the talking about things together or making a little comment in your day to day conversation or sending a little picture.
00:10:01 - 00:15:02
that's unexpected or video. Those kind of fun little--I guess it's like a little dance that you play between each other in just your regular everyday life, that is so much fun in this kind of relationship dynamic. That that is just a special to me as having him watch me with a partner or listen or listen in the room next door or something like that. I
Leyna: Is there any humiliation. Because I think people who aren't very familiar with cuckolding that's the first thing they think of right? It's the thing that people normally see on porn.
Leyna: Is their humiliation in the dynamic that you had?
Guest: Yeah and I will say that part was a little bit weird for me to get used to. It didn't really feel like it came natural. And I think that's normal for a lot of women who are kind of like wait a minute, what? You want me to tease you about the size of your penis? Like what? I feel like I'm being mean and I actually, I really don't like that word humiliation because it does make you think of okay. I need to be cruel. I need to be demeaning. I need to make this person feel horrible about themselves. And that's not it at all. So I have tried to kind of switch out that language to “teasing” which is a lot more playful and a lot more fun and the turning point for me with trying to figure out humiliation was like okay. This is what actually turns on this person. This is what they want more than anything. This is what makes them happy is when you tease them and by denying them that that's actually not very nice, if you're in a loving relationship. So when I thought about it that way, I thought --okay now I understand what this is but it was really hard for me to get used to it.
Leyna: Interesting. And you've gotten better?
Guest: Yeah and because I think I've taken the time to kind of dissect it and understand it in different ways and so I don't feel like I would have to be pretending to say certain things. Like I know I could feel comfortable saying certain things and it be like okay. I'm not gonna feel bad about it and he's not gonna feel bad about it.
Leyna: Okay I'm gonna ask you a personal question. As part of those activities-- do you ever come home after being with someone else and then like straight to bed with the boyfriend?
Guest: Oh yeah.
Leyna: And do you shower before or does he like it if you don't?
Guest: Oh yes you just hit on one of the like absolute gems of this kind of lifestyle because this is the treasure trove right here because that is for me anyway, the pinnacle of a cuckolding relationship. And this does exist in some hotwifing relationships as well funny enough but it's called cream pie cleanup and it's a horrible term.
Leyna: Oh, wait a second.
Guest: There needs to be a better term.
Leyna: Okay so them now you're talking about like something even more than what I was thinking.
Guest: Oh ok, yes.
Leyna: Cuz I talked to a guy who, he just liked smelling the other guys cologne on his wife ok, so he liked kissing her and knowing that she tasted differently 'cause she'd been kissing someone else. You're talking about something else. Let's get into it. So what did you call it cream pie clean up--
Guest: So I just call it clean up but yeah it is. It is something that seems like just a sexual kind of act within this dynamic but it is so incredibly special because again, it's very bonding. It's very intimate. It's very special in that moment. And so…
Leyna: What is it??
Guest: There are cucks who love it when their wife or girlfriend will come home after being with a bull they'll come home and they'll just eat their pussy and it's full of cum, of another guys cum and in that moment, she's aware that he's doing this for her. He's aware that she's just been with somebody else. And it is something in that there's something in that moment where he is I guess reconnecting with his girlfriend or wife. And there's something just very special about that. But it's also a little bit kinky like it's taboo of it.
Leyna: A little?
Guest: A little bit.
Leyna: A little? Okay. So if you're a cuckold something like that would be like a major turn on.
00:15:02 - 00:20:04
Leyna: But then for you, for the female, you're saying there's something there?
Leyna: But is it a turn on or what is it?
Guest: Yeah you see, now I think a lot of cucks struggle with that too because they in their mind are trying to understand why a woman would be loving that situation rather than looking at them differently. Like you know, and I will say from my own personal experience that it is about a deep love and admiration in that moment. I'm looking down him. Going wow, I truly have the best most incredible partner in the world. Because let me just say this about cuckolding. Cuckolding is a gift that you give each other. The husband is giving the wife the gift of sexual non-monogamy so the gift of all of these incredible sexual experiences. He's giving her that and she is in turn giving him the gift of being involved in some way --some small way or small some big way and so it's a gift that you give each other and in that moment --there is that kind of sharing of the gift. This understanding of the gift that you're giving each other.
Leyna: That's a very nice poetic way of putting it. Are you saying then that…during the --I have to get used to say this, so during the cream pie cleanup… do you as the woman feel like. Oh my gosh. He loves me so much yes that he's doing this?
Guest; Yes. Absolutely totally. That's that's what's going through my mind in that moment.
Leyna: And then aside from that ‘cause that to me is emotional. Aside from that is they're also something sexual about it. That's that's a turn on?
Guest: Oh totally.
Leyna: And it's hard to explain isn't it? When someone, when something turns you on, it’s sometimes hard to explain WHY it turns you on. It just does right.
Guest: Yeah yeah exactly. Yeah it is the pinnacle for me anyway. The pinnacle of this kind of relationship.
Leyna: Okay. Logistical question now. Logistical question. How do you keep it in there? I mean would you like, girl--do you have muscles like, is it a trap door? I mean or is this or is it like next room you can jump in or he was there and then right after like time wise what are we talking about? Like if you get in your car and drive home. Is there anything to clean up?
Guest: Probably not but the taste I'm sure is still going to be there. But yeah if if your husband or boyfriend is right nearby you t hen it's definitely going to be like a real deep –
Leyna: A real clean up.
Leyna: Alright. Wow this is interesting because you know people who don't understand it really, they're going to think this is gross and weird, right?
Guest: Yeah totally. I think when people think of this kind of relationship it is very very difficult to wrap your mind around a few things about it. But even just for you know what's in it for the guy does a lot of people are like well this sounds very unfair. Like she gets go have all this fun and he doesn't? Seem svery unfair but there's so much in it for him there's he gets so much joy and satisfaction and sexual pleasure from her going and doing these things like he loves that part about her and he celebrates that part about her.
Leyna: So what turns you on?
Guest: A cuckolding relationship.
Leyna: Is it always you and a bull? Do cuck husbands cuck boyfriends ever like it when their woman’s with another woman or or is that just like typical male fantasy?
Guest: Well I will say that you know there are a thousand different kinds of cuckolding relationships out there but typically it is when a woman is with a bull who is a guy and sometimes more than one guy. But you know people are having fun doing whatever they want in this in these kinds of relationships so…
Leyna: Let's turn the tables around since it seems like you're getting a better idea of oh, okay so this turns him on and I can see why that turns them on. What if it was the other way around? Like if your husband or boyfriend was just having sex with someone else. Is there any turn on for you to then be with him? Go down on him whatever?
Guest: Oh hell no.
Leyna: Right. T
Guest: That’s a very good question.
00:20:04 - 00:23:28
And I'm glad you asked him but definitely that's a that's a hard NO.
Leyna: Okay so we're talking one way street here.
Guest: Yeah. And you know what that was a part of it that I didn't quite understand in the very beginning I was like why is it like that. But as time went along. I began to really love and appreciate the fact that he didn't want to be with anybody else and you know I really loved him for it. So yeah it's something that I admire about cuckcolds.
Leyna: Do you find within the lifestyle that cuckolding is probably one of the least understood dynamics unless you're actually involved in it?
Guest: Oh definitely. I think that for me cuckolding is just a form of non-monogamy. So it's a one sided open relationship. That's how I see it in the most simple of ways so when it comes to, when I think about like non-monogamy whether it be swingers or poly-amorous or cuckolding whatever --there's a long road that we need to go down in order to be able to have a lot of people understand what it's really like, but not just for cuckolding but for all of the other types of non-monogamy as well. But cuckolding for sure is not understood at all and it's thought of I think, mainly as just a sexual act and not as the incredible kind of relationship that it actually is.
Leyna: So you have a podcast called the Venus Cuckoldress Podcast when you talk all about this but you're also building this online women-centered community within the cuckolding lifestyle. Why are you doing this and and are you. finding that there are a lot of women out there in relationships like this?
Guest: Yeah this has been really really important for me this year. It’s something. I've wanted to do for a while but became front and center in my goals for this year was to connect women with each other in this lifestyle because I'm fortunate enough to have a circle of friends where I can be completely open about my lifestyle. But a lot of women don't have that and so therefore they only have their husband to talk to you about this kind of thing. And so I really wanted to be able to bring women together to sort of mentor each other support each other you know ask questions answer questions you know talk about feelings or hesitations and stuff like that or celebrate the great things and everything like that. And so yeah I have been trying and have been succeeding at bringing these women together. And I will say it's been everything I hoped it would be.
Leyna: And you can connect with Venus at VenusCuckoldress dot com. Next time on Consenting Adults, they identify as social swingers and talk about some of their favorite activities in the lifestyle.
Guest: Jay and I had so much fun at that first experience that it fueled our sex for the rest of the cruise ship. We were doing it two, three times a day at least, all over the place.
Leyna: That's next time on Consenting Adults.
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