Ep 39 Lesbians or Just Lovers

Two women, married to men, meet and fall in love. Tori and Soul, now married to each other but like to have sex with single males. They don't fit into the lesbian lifestyle but find the perfect fit in the ENM (ethical non-monogamy) community.

EP 39 - Lesbian or Just Lovers
Transcription:

0:00
(Sizzle Reel)
It was an orgy in the taxi. In the taxi and the taxi with two football players? Three. Like a Happy Ending massage place for women? Yeah one of those, no it was for men, but it was a woman that was open to playing with couples, so Oh,
I saw this woman on the table and the guys were all lined up there was like, 200 of them lined up with their dicks in their hand. holy crap, and you said, wow, I'd love to watch that I would watch it, I'm not doing it but you would go next. Some people prefer they won't, you know, a penis in each hand and one in their mouth and one in their name for we can shock her with this, what is it called? Air tight, that's it. That's the first time I've heard of ethical gangbang
yeah there's a club here in Toronto called M four or Minaj I'm gonna move to Toronto, you guys have everything, it’s awesome.
0:50
We have found our best place sessions are with single guys who are totally focused and gung ho about the experiences in front of them and they don't have to think about what their wife is feeling about the situation right now. Get ready. This is Consenting Adults,
 
(Podcast Show Open)
 
1:40
Leyna:             My guest today are two lovely ladies once married to men now married to each other, they're both bisexual, and they're in the lifestyle, having playtime with select Single men. What the hell is going on here I don't know what's going on. We've got we've got Tori, and we've got Soul, they are hosts of a podcast called Torrid Souls. Let's start with who you are, you're in your 40s you're in education you’re business owners, and you were once married to men. Did you know when you were married to your husbands that you were bisexual.
Guest:             No, well, oh man, kind of, you did. I think I evolved in this Tori speaking I evolved into knowing, but it wasn't something that I knew when I married him I don't think so we
didn't go into it thinking, you know, we're going to be married to men right now because this is what we're into, it's just one of those circumstances where you end up down the road. Oh gee, there is an attraction to women, what do we do with that.
2:40
I think for me as this is Soul speaking, it was a fascination with women and intimidation with women, I would see someone and I would be uncomfortable, but that was not something that I equated with being attracted to them.
2:55
Leyna:             I always thought that, to be considered bisexual you actually had to have some kind of an emotional attachment that it wasn't just a sexual thing. Like I could see two women participating in any kind of sexual activity and not actually be bisexual. How do you guys see it.
3:13
Guest:             Well I think there's two, well there's, I'm not an expert on this by any means but I think there's different ways of looking at it there's romantic attractions and then there's sexual attractions and I think there's a few other levels too but regardless, speaking of those two, we've actually discovered that we have a very strong romantic connection with each other so I guess a romantic connection with this other being that sitting next to me, regardless of gender, and sexually attracted right now, we tend to play with men, as you said in the introduction so it's not so much that it's bisexual means that it is only sexual or it's only romantic or it's both it's can kind of be whatever people define it as.
Leyna:             You guys, you guys are like a sexual buffet.
Guest:             We're actually interviewed at another podcast called the Uncomfortable Blog and she said that her when she told her dad about the podcast and it got a strong, was it Scottish accent Yes Yeah. Those girls are greedy. They want it all. I like the fact that you picked up on that because life is a buffet.
4:22
Leyna:             I'm a foodie, too. Okay, so when you were married then to your husband's. There was something there. Did you ever experiment while you were married? (silence)  Um, hello is the thing still on?
Guest:             I looked at each other like okay well your story is different to my story so you tell your story first.
4:42
Guest:             I'll tell my story first. I have always been very open so before my marriage to my husband, we like to use the term was-band because we're honoring of that relationship. It's not an ex-husband it's the wasband. So even before with him I was very open in the sense that I had had three sons and I had had different experiences. And when him and I were married, I guess we had the equivalent of what we now know as somewhat of an open relationship, in the sense that I would not have issues with him playing with certain women outside of our relationship as long as I knew and consented to it, I didn't know there was a name for this stuff we didn't know there was a lifestyle then I didn't know I guess I was just thought I was weird and I was fine with that, we like to use the term of FAB normal. So, in that I discovered that yes I was interested in possibly playing with women from time to time, and so we did experiment somewhat at like a massage parlor type place and things like that. And once I think with a friend, but that's my experience.
 
5:44
Leyna:             Hold on a second. Like a, like a happy ending massage place for women?
Guest:             Yeah one of those, no it was for men but it was a woman that was open to playing with couples, so
Leyna:             OH! How come this stuff never happens to me.
Guest:             Well you never know once you're attracted you're talking to these type of people you know, just because, if you ask, then you'll get an answer most people don't ask.
Leyna:             Yeah,  I just tell ‘em walk all over me. And they do. Okay, that was Tori's situation.
 
6:18
Guest:             Yeah. And for me, I went from living with parents, met my husband when we were very young, and that was the next thing to do, so we got married, so I married my friend, and we had a family, and then later on in life I was noticing that I had this intimidation when certain women were around and a dream about Shanaya Twain. Yeah, that was what concretized it really, I had a dream about Shanaya Twain, and I woke up with a feeling of wow that was awesome. So I started looking at life differently, and looking at women differently. And I had one experience before meeting Tori, and I liked the boobs. I'm just gonna be honest. So from that point on, I had these moments with my husband and I kept thinking where’re the boobs where are the boobs, the boobs are missing.
Leyna:             Wait a second, did you ever say anything to him?
Guest:             No, no, it was all inside. So obviously, you know, penis was good, but boobs were missing.
Leyna:             Why didn't you go to the like trans.
 
7:35
Guest:             I don't think you even knew that existed at that point you were such like a picket fence family. Yeah, I don't think I would have thought of that. At this point I have not experienced that, so I don't know what my feelings would be about that but I'm very attracted to a being, not just male or female, and
Leyna:             Don't they call that pansexual.
Guest:             Possibly, yeah, that's the newest term so that's the newest term. So, we will fast forward I'm now pansexual. To add a twist into this, I'm attracted to Tori, I'm not attracted to a lot of women. So being bisexual in the lifestyle gets even more confusing because people assume that we want to be with other women, and how we actually participate in the lifestyle has to do more with the fact that we get each other all the time, and we love that body, how that matches together, but we're still missing the D.  Vitamin D. So, vitamin D is a little lacking up here in Canada. So we've added that into our mix. That's how we play.
8:43
Leyna:             All right, now you're gonna force me to ask these questions. So, you know, last time I talked to, and you probably have heard of them-- the Sapphic Swingers they’re the lesbians--
Guest:             Yeah, of course we partied with them on a cruise actually last year
Leyna:             Man they get around those ladies. So, but to them like they would rather use a sex toy. Then, because they have an issue with the thing called the man attached to the penis. So what is it with you guys, you actually like all that extra skin called man?
 
9:16
Guest:             Yeah actually we do.  So that was interesting because when we first got together, and this was all in discussion with our then husbands, and it was all aboveboard and they knew, and we didn't know where it was heading but we had this attraction that we couldn't explain. So, when we decided to go separate ways from our husbands and move into a relationship with each other. We thought we were lesbians, so we thought that this is what it is, because this strong attraction was just so all encompassing. It was everything we thought we ever wanted, and then forward a few years later and we're like, huh, and it started with me going, Oh, I would have loved to see you with your husband and her thinking I'm cracked.
9:58
Leyna:             Hold on a second. So you guys met each other while you were still married to your husbands?  Did you start an affair?
 
10:05
Guest:             No, it was all known there was actually some social club that was for bisexual women and we were exploring the idea, both of us at that point so, so Soul did eventually come to her husband and say hey I noticed I have an attraction to women, it just didn't start that way.
10:19
And so this club basically had events where you could either have women only or sometimes you would bring your husband so it was so it was very honoring for us to be able to not be hiding anything and to include them, and discover this with them.
10:39
I think they probably thought that they were going to get in on some threesome action or something is probably why they were so willing.
Leyna:             But they didn't, didn't you guys do that?
Guest:             No we didn't. We ended up falling so hard for each other and it was just a connection between the two of us and that's as I was saying where we thought oh well maybe we're actually lesbian and these were just our best friends, things evolve over time you realize and then
11:02
we did some travel with lesbian companies, and we did that for a few years, and at the beginning it was really fun to be out and open. And then after a little while we realized we don't really resonate with the way they see the world. Yeah, and we are not men haters, and they aren't either. Not that not that they are but it's not that we're trying to get away from men we just found each other and after a few years we were like, we were feeling like we were not able to be open and say that we do have attraction to men and are interested in men because that was not something that's accepted so it kind of has evolved into, we are in the closet with lesbians. Yeah. Except for Sapphic Swingers, they know.
 
11:50
Leyna:             So you guys like commit to each other, right, and then at some point, you're like, oh, it would be fun to throw a guy into the mix, How did you guys actually start living in the lifestyle, doing lifestyle type things.
12:05
Guest:             Well, I think it started with that comment that Tori made that says you know what it would have been hot to see you with your husband, and I looked at her like seriously you're cracked, because why would you want to see that and she says that would have been so awesome, so we had this discussion over many months, and then we ended up.
12:25
Yeah, we went to one of those sex shows those expositions or whatever expos and found a place called Oasis Aqua lounge here in Toronto, and went there, just to see what was all about for being able to be around the pool naked and socializing and so that was the first place we started going and that is ends up being the first place that we invited a man into our play. Yeah, yeah.
 
12:48
Leyna:             I would imagine you guys are pretty popular in the lifestyle because it's not righ?. It's not often that like for instance Sapphic Swingers they you know they won't do anything with a guy, right?
 
12:58
Guest:             Yeah, with us it's a little bit interesting popular in the sense that we love to have fun, we dance and dance every event that we go to and we love people so we love to socialize. Yeah, so we socialize all the time. The interesting thing is that most of these events are couples based. So what that means is that they have usually hetero male female couples or if anything, the female is somewhat bisexual and interested in playing with women. And so it's not usually the type of places that we would find a potential playmate, we go to them because we love the atmosphere and we love the people and we have made the best friends we've ever made in our lives, and we continue to do so. And yet it's not a place for us to be popular from the play perspective because we're usually the ones that if we play. We play with each other, which is wonderful, and it's fun, but it's not where we would go necessarily to seek a single gentleman to join us.
Leyna:             Okay, so are you guys exhibitionist at all?
Guest:             I am a little bit more so than Soul is. Soul doesn't like to--if we are playing in a public play room or something she's got her butt to the corner and she's a hidden as she can be. I’m more of an exhibitionist  on the dance floor on the dance floor Yeah, to play, or just dance in that way of playing so.
14:18
Leyna:             Okay so your playstyle is normally to be with a single male. Do you ever play with single females?
Guest:             We did once, early on, and we just found that it wasn't what we were seeking it's the contrast I think would be the best way to see it is that when we play together, there's lots of soft and sensual and boobs and stuff is wonderful. And yet, so that contrast is what we really like which is the masculine energy especially a take charge, but yet, respectful, kind of person, and especially the true muscular version is something that really kind of works for us.
14:58
Leyna:             And how do you find these guys I mean not like there's a shortage of guys who wouldn't say yes I'll go be with two women, but how do you find them?
Guest:             The resorts, when we can travel, and other similar things or the sex clubs that are here in Toronto because we were lucky to have five of them in the area so that's kind of where we go and honestly we don't play that often, it's not. Yeah, but when we do it's good. I think every single play that becomes a podcast episode
Leyna:             Well, you know, you can't go out to an all-you-can-eat every day.
Guest:             Exactly, But when you do you fill up.
Leyna:             You eat all you can eat.
 
 
18:37
Guest:             Yeah I think it's because when we show up, we don't really think of ourselves as oh look, we're two women we just show up as a couple and then we realize that we are viewed as two women so from the outside perspective, a heterosexual couple with a bisexual wife would be very interested and they would come over and say hey you guys must be interested in my wife and when we say actually we're, we play with men only, it gets really confusing because they're like, oh, so not only his team feels rejected because she will be like, Oh, you just want my husband and so we're not into playing with the male partner if it is not a totally connected relationship where they are gung ho about him being okay with us, okay because we're not going in between a couple.
 
19:23
Leyna:             Right now would you play with other couples like so with the guy but then also with the wife.
Guest:             We haven't. No, no, oh no,
Leyna:             and it just doesn't…
Guest:             The only times that we, well we have a couple times where we've done something like that and what tends to happen again because the woman is so yearning for that woman experience which we know we've been there. They can't stay separate, so it can be set up that okay we're only playing with the husband and she's like, I'm fine to watch I'm no problem I want him to have fun, but then she always manages to sneak her way in there, and that is totally understandable. Yeah, why wouldn't you want to get in the pile. Yeah, so it's not offensive to us it's just that we have found our best place sessions are with single guys who are totally focused and gung ho about the experiences in front of them and they don't have to think about what their wife is feeling about the situation right now.
 
20:17
Leyna:             Have you been in a place situation where it's two guys?
Guest:             We've had three. Well guys that our relationship with each other though. No,
Leyna:             Yeah, okay, but but you've, you've had three??
Guest:             Yeah, and we wore them out. They were sleeping, and we were like, we're gonna go now.
Leyna:             Wow. Interesting.
Guest:             So it's not that we, you know, Seek multiple men but if they can keep up. Hey, tag team.
Leyna:             Well, how did that come about how do you find three guys.
20:49
Guest:             Well, usually it's not in the lifestyle world weirdly enough, this was a situation where it was sort of a bachelor gathering and they went to Las Vegas, and so we happened to be in Las Vegas for a lifestyle convention, but we were just wandering around and ended up
in a bar, and we were just having fun and chatting and drinking, and then we all took a taxi back to their hotel and, yeah.
Leyna:             No, no, no. No Yeah no yeah.
Guest:             Okay. Basically, we were leaving a restaurant, and they, I think were leaving the same restaurant as well, and I was on crutches, you can't make this stuff up.
Leyna:             This just going better.
Guest:             She injured her knee on the dance floor in temptation a couple…I was on crutches, and we were leaving a restaurant, and these three football player guys. One of them said, Hey, I bet you're faking, you just want to get some attention and I said well  apparently it worked. So we got along, from the very first moment we were kind of kidding with each other and they said hey we're going to this bar you want to come along so we said, Sure. And we went in and had a bunch of drinks and we were laughing and and dancing, and got really drunk and said you know what, it's probably time to go, and we called a taxi and ended up sort of ordinated a gap, it was all consensual, it was it was an orgy in the taxi.
 
Leyna:             In the taxi with two football players?!
23:00
Guest:             Three.
Leyna:             Hold on. Are you guys --you guys are only three feet tall or what?
Guest:             It was, it was a van it was one of those minivans. Yeah, there was people flopping over the seats and…
Leyna:             That poor driver.
Guest:             He just kept looking straight ahead and…
23:17
Leyna:             Making circles, did you realize he made like 10 left turns.
Guest:             And so he dropped us off at the hotel and we walked in hand in hand all five of us,it was bizarre and went to their room and continued.
23:35
Leyna:             Oh my gosh. Are you guys sure you're the lifestyle because like you are so shy about explaining this. Well, it sounded like a hot episode.
Guest:             Yeah, it's funny that you say that because we're not the type where you asked about exhibitionism and we don't tend to be really super descriptive, we tend to have sort of a shy way of explaining what we do, I'm gonna say we're doers, we're not talkers except we have a podcast where we talk about it.
24:03
Yeah, we talk about our adventures but it's more from the perspective of what have we learned from this and it is still sexy but there's, we leave a lot to the imagination I suppose would be the way to say it.
Leyna:             That means I have to ask…I have to ask questions right. Okay, so this is their room.
Guest:             Yes, right.
Leyna:             Okay. Are they part of the bachelor party?
 
24:25
Guest:             They were they were the only three that were there because of that they came to Vegas to have a party, so
Leyna:             Okay, hey I'm thinking bachelor parties might be your…that might be your thing. That's what you’ve got to do.
Guest:             That’s our jam.
Leyna:             That is your jam!
Guest:             That’s our niche.
Leyna:             Okay, so you've got three football players, you're in their hotel room, you're all kind of loose and you're already playful because you've been hopping around in the back of the van right?
Guest:             Exactly.
Leyna:             So, like what is the configuration,
Guest:             I knew you’d want to know the configuration.
Leyna:             Yeah, yes.
Guest:             Okay, so we had, because our time,
Leyna:             ‘Cause they sound very straight, by the way.
 
25:05
Guest:             Yes, they're very straight and very excited and very drunk, and we call it a session because it is a prolonged period of multiple positions. Yeah, so at one point, one guy had fallen asleep on the bed so it was the two of us with, with two guys, and we've done things where it's the two of us, we will do like a three way kiss.
Leyna:             Oh, I've heard about those.
Guest:             That's nice. That’s my favorite.
 
25:42
Leyna:             So hold on…Okay, so I talked to a friend of mine, David Marciano who's an actor, and he asked me, he goes, have you ever done like a three way kiss and like at that point I just started out the show, I couldn't even imagine what he was talking about. And you're the second people to even mention it. And I don't know why everyone else just talks about like, you know, smashing genitals like no one ever really talks about the kissing part. So tell me more.
 
26:08
Guest:             We're very sensual. So the reason why we like the physical with the male body is because we are. It is like a full on, head to toe experience, you know, it's not just kissing or it's not just, okay, in general, here's my hole here's your penis bang those two things together. No, it has to be a build up with kissing and touching and so it's kind of like this, massage, it's like a dance it's a dance, yeah.
26:38
Leyna:             So when you, but when the two of you were with the two of them. Is it like, like a hard swap kind of a thing, or are you guys like together somehow?
Guest:             Yeah, our preference is to always be touching one another as well or to be close enough to do so in that particular evening there was two beds and like I said one sleeping football player in the middle and so it was moving around. So there was times that we were separate with the respective gentlemen, and we talked about it the next day and we're like yeah we probably would have preferred to be closer together, but it was just all in the mix. And there were times that one would be interacting with me and then I'm interacting with Soul and Soul is interacting with the other gentlemen so it's almost like a train sometimes
 
27:22
we're in with each other kissing each other touching each other and then there's a guy on either end. That's one configuration and then, you know, third guy woke up. The guy you were first attracted to in the first place. When you've had the hots for the most. Yeah and it's it's a case where you could be kissing one and the other one's touching you and it just kind of, it's, it's a dance, it's actually a dance of touching and kissing and exchanging and three way kisses
and I think that's why it's hard to describe it as a play by play because it's so fluid, yeah, yeah.
 
28:01
Leyna:             So the guys are completely separate, they're like, opposite ends of the torso I like I had a guy friend and that was his rule.
Guest:             Yeah, there we have not yet, unfortunately, been able to play with men that were bisexual, or into guys at the same time that they were with us. That is actually one of Soul's biggest fantasies, is to have a gay male, or bisexual male couple play with us, because then she says there's nothing like no holds barred he's not, they don't have to be on opposite ends and if they accidentally touch or if they want to touch that would be even hotter so,
and then we can talk about DVP and see how that works.
 
28:42
Leyna:             Have you done that yet?
Guest:             Not yet, huh. No, that's that's that is not enough room in my hoo-ha for that. That would be a Soul thing.
Leyna:             Wha are you saying about Soul?
Guest:             I'm saying that she's the one who birth children. I got a lot of room, come on in!
Leyna:             What other things are you wanting to do?
Guest:             Other things that we're wanting to do, it's funny that you say that because I know often people have the fantasy discussion and I know early on we had a lot of sort of fantasies that we played out for us I think it's more of just experiences like we want to travel the world we want to go to some of the places like the nude community in France and the there are just so many open experiences in the world that we weren't aware of until we joined this community. And so it's not so much a specific sexual fantasy because again we are big on the experiences and the sensuality of it all and so when we're in the mood because we're traveling and we're going to parties and we're all that everything is better, so whatever we end up happening upon that fits what we're looking for is amazing so I don't know that we do, although recently we had a discussion where I said I saw a video many years ago with one woman, and the Guinness Book of Records and how many men. She could have in a certain period of time. Okay, and, and I said I saw this woman on the table and the guys were all lined up, there was like 200 of them lined up with their dicks in their hands, holy crap, and you said, wow, I'd love to watch that. I would watch it, I'm not doing it but. You’d be like, next! Yeah I’ll check the list, make sure they have the right color wristband. That being said, we have had experiences with gang bangs ethical gang bangs which are set up specifically with people we know and that was quite enjoyable.
Leyna:             Huh, yeah that's the first time I've heard of ethical gangbang.
30:42
Guest:             Yeah there's a club here in Toronto called M four or Menage …
Leyna:             I gotta move to Toronto, you guys have everything.
Guest:             It’s awesome other than the winter, that kind of sucks. Right. But yeah, M four has these ethical gaming they called it, ladies, ladies choice ladies choice events where you literally have a social hour where you go round and give wristbands to the people, men or women, that you are interested in, and then they are the only ones allowed to come to your corner, your designated area of the playroom, so it's quite interesting. It was a lot of fun. We've done it twice. Yeah,
31:13
we've done that twice and we, I think the second time we did it was even better because we learned some things from the first time and, basically, I prefer sequential, rather than all at once. Some people prefer they won't, you know, a penis in each hand and one in their mouth and one in their name for we can shock her with this, what is it called, is it called airtight, that's it.
Leyna:             Oh gosh.
Guest:             So that's not a fantasy airtight is not a fantasy sequential for me was the fantasy, and it's because I can last longer than they can. So it's basically tap out bring the next one, tap out, the next one.
Leyna:             Wow,  but tori you're not into that?
32:01
Guest:             I'm not, I'm into very little amounts of penetration so I can handle penetration for five minutes, maybe 10 minutes and I'm done. So I much more of an external body contacts clitoral stimulation everything on the external is what does it for me and I'm also huge with the word conversion, which you've probably heard, but compersion basically means that when I see my partner or partners experiencing joy. I actually feel it right to the core, like if a huge excitement for me when I see people in ecstasy, so I guess that would be avoider of sort, but it's more when I'm like I don't want to do it from standing back I want to be there I want to be able to touch I want to be able to be experiencing everything that's happening but not the focus necessarily on me all the time.
32:50
And I'm a doer. Warm me up with your touch, don't just enter without any kind of connection. So I got standards.
 
 
33:01
Leyna:             Can you guys talk about I had someone on Twitter message me asking if I would ask my guests about STDs and safety precautions because, when people don't talk about it, you know people who aren't at the lifestyle first thing they think about is, oh my gosh, you know, who knows what they're giving each other, but can you talk about how that's handled?

33:24
Guest:             Our world in the community. Now I don't know if it's just because we're Toronto and just because we're Canadian or the events that we go to but the world of lifestyle community that we know is very big into safe sex or safer sex I guess is the proper term. So what that means is that there's barriers used for penetration so condoms used. There's different levels of safe sex, some people will use barriers for oral as well. We don't tend to offer oral, Very often, so it was just funny because some people call the soft swap and full swap and all of that and oral is somewhat considered by some people as a first step, and then penetrative sex is the second step, we're kind of the opposite whereas oral sex seems very intimate to us. So that's got to be somebody we know and trust. But for penetrative sex Yes. Condoms are used, there's no exceptions. Yes, that's just the way we are, and that is the way that we know most people to be in the lifestyle, we've come across because we're not playing in the lifestyle as we mentioned sometimes it's single men that we find out about. We've had a few times where we've had to educate and say no this is not this is not an option. This is the way it is but there's never been really any pushback, it seems to be the acceptance in the open, sexual community. Yeah, and the testing we do. Yep that's right so STI testing. Now of course, 2020 is basically a write off. So we, when it comes to lifestyle fun for us anyway. Because, yes, STI is is one thing but then also just depending on how people see COVID. Regardless, we've chosen not to play with anybody else and stay with our family unit. And so, what based on that we haven't done any testing in this past year, but before we go back into the community, hopefully in 2021, we will get a baseline testing done again and usually depending on how often we play it can be every three to four months or every six months depending if we're engaging with others that we get a testing done for our own purposes so that we know that we have our status known.
Leyna:             But how about other people, how do you know that the people you're playing with, are, are, you know, clean.
Guest:             Yeah that's a great question. Part of it is discussion so there can be, it along with the consent discussions, because as Soul was saying when we were having our jokey conversation about our three football players, I threw in there that there still was consent, so we still have conversations so even if we are intoxicated in the sense that we've had some alcohol, we would not partake in something if we hadn't had a conversation about okay so this is what's going to happen, what do you do with your partners, what type of sexual plays okay so it's kind of part of the discussion that happens, which you're right gets glossed over people don't talk about this they don't talk about the beginning part of how do you get there, it just seems like oh and then you just fall into bed. No, it's,
36:22
and it's a valid question because, as you said, coming from a perspective of being outside of the lifestyle and hearing about swinging you think it's a free for all. We've had events that we've gotten to where people are it's their first event ever and they're so scared and so nervous, they said, I don't know what to think it's just like you walk through the front door and there's a big orgy in the lobby and it's not. And by the end of that weekend, they're like wow, this, there's so many more levels of respect and so many more boundaries in the lifestyle, then there is outside of it. There are so many ways that people will respect who you are and, and how you are and what you want and what's the yes and what's a no, way more than vanilla world.
 
37:10
Leyna:             Speaking of orgies and safe sex. How does that work, it's a is it a like, you know, each time you change a partner, you've got to…must I finish the sentence?
Guest:             Yeah, we haven’t participated in orgies very often but when we because we will have one gentleman that may be playing with the two of us, women's internal pH factors we could get all science and geeky on you but for the most part you should change. Yes, even with we are partners with each other and it still makes sense to change a condom between the two of us, because it can just cause stuff to go out of balance, and that's not fun.
37:47
Leyna:             Wow, are you guys open in your, your circles, or are you kind of on the, on the DL.
Guest:             Yeah, because we're mothers we are on the DL, downlow, so we try to keep a fair bit of discussion, we kind of take it the same way as we did when we entered the same sex relationship with each other, is that, how do I say this, when you enter a relationship in a heterosexual relationship you don't announce to the world, oh by the way, I'm hetero and I'm going to go date this guy, so we didn't announce that necessarily when we started to create our relationship together, people just saw us together, they asked questions if they wanted to they didn't if they didn't, we kind of present the same way, where we will talk, we don't give specifics but we will talk about our life, we will talk about the way we are, we're willing to be open in almost all areas of our life, but we're not pushing it in people's face and we're not offering anything more than what we would from a general education and good for the world to try to encourage people to be open.
38:51
And what we've encountered with our friends of whether lifestyle or vanilla is people have often said to us, you guys are just so good together and you guys are so has such a great relationship, or a great relationship and you've been together for so many years and it seems so fun. So they're seeing it, but they're not asking specifically, what are you guys doing, and I have alluded to it even in our wedding vows I said you know you guys can have this what we have anybody can have but it takes a lot of work, and they haven't asked what that work is. So we just leave it.
Leyna:             Where can people find you guys
39:30
Guest:             Torridsouls.com, but we have the our podcast that is everywhere you can find podcasts, and we are most active for social media, on Twitter, Instagram, and then now we are doing only fans as well because we like how much we can interact with people, we're not doing, not that there's anything wrong with sex work by any means, and I guess we are part of the sex work but we are not showing sex shows on only fans we are just giving a place for our fans to come and visit with us,
39:57
see our behind the scenes pictures of when we're traveling or whatever.
Leyna:             I thought you were going to say and see our behind.
Guest:             Well you can see our behinds too it’s not the main focus but it's us having fun, and when the lighting hits right and it looks good we take a picture of it and here you go, the artistic version.
Leyna:             Post it!
Guest:             Yeah!
Leyna:             And you can find these lovely ladies @TorridSoulds on social media and Torridsouls.com.  Alright, next time on Consenting Adults, a couple from the West Coast get into the lifestyle thinking it’s just sex, but they find something else.
Guest:             With the three of us, you know, there is something here.  We do care and we do love you and we do want you in our lives and so let’s figure out how to work through this.
Leyna:             And to further complicate things, the third woman is married.  What will they do?  Find out next time, on Consenting Adults.