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Three years into an affair, Holly's husband finds out and his reaction shocks her! The cheating housewife is turned into a hotwife after some discussion and it's been 13 years in the lifestyle for this couple. They're now looking for an FWB for the wife, and although he was promiscuous in his younger years, he's fine just watching now.Support this show and get bonus and exclusive content at BuyMeAcoffee.com/LeynaNguyen
Leyna: My guests today are a married couple. They've been married 15 years in the lifestyle 13 years. He's JC 39 years old in the oil and gas industry. She's Holly, she's 37. She owns a business. Um and they tell me that like they've had this, friends with benefits boyfriend for the wife. For a while and then now he moved outta state.
And so now they're looking y'all, they're looking for a new friends with benefit. Welcome to the show you guys, uh, let's talk about, about how you got into the lifestyle. Let's start there. You were married 15 years, two years into it. What happened?
Guest: Um, it, I was very promiscuous in college. I was a male cheerleader in college.
I actually got a scholarship for. And, um, lot of eye-opening experiences. We'll just say it that way. Like I said, a lot of non monogamous relationships pretty much was kind of the norm.
Leyna: Did all your girlfriends know you weren't monogamous?
Leyna: Oh, okay.
Guest: Yeah, actually it was, it was a girl I was dating in college that kind of turned me onto it.
Leyna: Oh, wow.
Guest: It was, it was a girl that I cheered with.
Leyna: Mm-hmm. And then she cheered you on, she cheered you on. She said, Hey, there's this thing called non monogamy.
Guest: Literally. Um, so that, that's what kind of opened my eye to it. Um, fast forward I met, uh, my wife. We really didn't date. We kind of met each other and got married.
It was, oh yeah.
Leyna: Hi, will you marry me? Nice.
Guest: Pretty much. We met each other in, in January. We were married in June.
Leyna: Oh, wow. Okay. Uh, Holly,
Guest: I was pregnant March. Yeah.
Leyna: Oh, so you met in January. Got pregnant in March, married in June. Mm-hmm . Yeah. Right. And, um, Holly, had you had any non monogamous relationships before this?
Guest: No. After I had the baby, um, I started seeing somebody behind his back and then he found out three years later. And then that's how all this got started.
Leyna: Oh so you were cheating, he found out and that's how you got into the lifestyle as a couple?
Guest: Pretty much. That's the reader's digest version.
JC, when you found out, how did, first of all, how did you find out?
Guest: I had suspicion, I knew who the guy was. Actually. We were actually friends. The three of us were mm-hmm um,
Kind of cliche to say it. He was the, he was the cable guy.
Leyna: Your friend, the cable guy was having an affair with your wife. Yeah. Yeah. And, and you suspected, you found out, um, first of all, did it, well, did it piss you off?
Guest: It did at first. Yeah. It'd be a lie if I said it didn't.
Leyna: Okay. But what do you mean at first?
Guest: The secrecy of it, I guess just not the, the forth forthcoming of it. Not knowing, you know, I knew, but I didn't know. Does that make sense?
Leyna: Sure. Oh, cuz she never told you. Yeah. So then how did you move on from that?
Guest: Uh, we honestly, after night, her and I had went out together and we come home, we were sitting on our front deck one evening and we were just talking and.
Instead of just directly asking her why it was, I wanted to know her, her fantasies, what, what turned her on, what she, what she liked, you know? Um, and at first she, she felt like it was a setup, which, I mean, I can see that once I reassured her, that I had actually been in this lifestyle before had had these experiences, to me, it felt like she was kind of relaxed and it.
She opened up a lot more about it told me why, told me the excitement about it, the, the taboo of it. Um, and, and that the conversation just kind of went from there. I mean, she contacted him wanting to see him again. I actually reached out to him and told him that, you know, I was okay with it.
Leyna: Oh, wow. Holly girl.
I need to talk to you. okay. Uh, and it wasn't just a fling, I mean, uh, you know, three years you were having this affair mm-hmm right? Yes. Was it more than just the sex? I mean, like, did you have feelings for him?
Guest: Um, we had feelings for each other, yes. Okay. But we also went into. With the agreement that I wasn't leaving him and he wasn't leaving his wife, but we did develop feelings for each other.
Leyna: When your husband found out about it, um, were you shocked at his reaction?
Guest: I was, I was very shocked.
Leyna: Why, what were you expecting?
Guest: Um, a divorce,
Leyna: but instead, what did you get.
Guest: Um, that he was on board with everything. I was, I was shocked. I was really surprised, but it was very exciting knowing that I could continue.
Leyna: Mm-hmm um, okay, so you, you go to the boyfriend mm-hmm and, and you tell him, you tell him, Hey, the husband knows actually the husband calls the boyfriend and says, dude, I know what I know.
You're sleeping with my wife and I'm okay with it. What was his reaction?
Guest: Uh, basically holy shit. he couldn't believe it. Yeah. And he started texting me after that.
Leyna: And then did a conversation happen? I mean, how did you continue on,
Guest: uh, about a week later he came over and we did our thing
Leyna: yeah. Well, like, like on the kitchen table during the, what do you mean? Like, what was the husband.
Guest: Uh, he was at work
Leyna: . Are you guys, first of all, are you guys sure you're in the lifestyle cuz you, you seem very shy about this.
Guest: She's an introverted. I'm very extroverted, so,
Leyna: mm. Okay. So then tell me what happened.
Um, when the boyfriend came over for the first time after the whole thing, you know, kind of blew up and, and everything was out in the open, like JC, did you want to be there? Were you gone? Was this set up some way?
Guest: I like being there. Um, she's my personal porn star for starters. I mean, it it's a,
Leyna: so it turns you on to watch.
Guest: It's a huge turn on to watch and I'm as you call voyeuristic too. So the, the, the watching is, is the biggest turn on seeing her be pleasured, seeing, seeing the experience, seeing his expressions, how he feels, how it makes her feel, the connection. The emotional aspect of it, the, the sensation, the feelings, multiple things.
It's not just one in particular thing. It it's on multiple levels for me.
Leyna: Yeah. Holly, did you have any issues with, uh, like having your husband watching?
Guest: No. Um, well, I mean, at first I was kind of shy about it and like really nervous, but the more he would watch. The more, I got so comfortable with it that I love him being there.
Leyna: JC, do you ever participate?
Guest: I have before. Um, I'm not opposed to it. I prefer to watch and be the cameraman.
Leyna: Oh, so you're busy while you're watching. You're not just sitting there watching. Why didn't you say so?
Guest: No, no, no.
Leyna: So what are you doing? So what are you doing while you're, while you're watching?
Guest: No masturbation or anything of that sort.
It's just, it's more of, um, capturing the moment, literally being in the camera band watching.
Leyna: So for later,
Guest: pretty much, yes.
Leyna: Do you guys do it the other way around, first of all, JC, do you, do you sleep with other people now?
Guest: No. Oh no.
Leyna: So you're just okay. With like sharing the wife. So she's like, yes. She's she's like bonafide hot wife.
Leyna: Now you had been very promiscuous before. Sure. Wh why now that there's this freedom in your marriage? Why aren't you seeing other people?
Guest: To me reclaiming her after she has slept with her partner is, is the ultimate goal. That's to turn on that's the she's mine,
Leyna: but you have no desire to be with other women?
Guest: No, the, the focus is on, on her.
Leyna: when you talk about the reclaiming process, is it immediate?
Guest: If I'm here? Yes. If not, then it is that evening when I get home.
Leyna: And when it is immediate, like, does she shower first or no? Is there something about just like jumping right in there?
Guest: It's it's the knowing that he has gotten off in her and then having sex with her right after that, I guess you could say the dominance part of it.
Yeah. You had her, but she's mine. taking her back.
Leyna: Right. But is there a turn on at all for you in like smelling him on her?
Guest: Not so much smelling him? Um, it's her. I, I don't really know how to, to say it.
Leyna: Well, you know, because like, for instance, with cuckolds for, for the cucks who want to reclaim her immediately, there's actually a turn on.
With the, you know, kissing her and, and tasting him on her and, and all that stuff. Is there any of that stuff with you?
Guest: No, it's not a, it's not a cuckold situation. At least I don't ever see it that way. I've never, I've never looked at it that way. It it's more of the, the, the stag, the hot wife role.
Leyna: Um, when you do participate, are we talking like opposite ends of the torso here?
Guest: Yes. Yes.
Leyna: Like you. You want no contact with the guy?
Guest: No, not at all.
Leyna: Okay. Um, Holly? Yes. Do you have any other fantasies other than what you're living out now and that is being married and, and having a boyfriend?
Leyna: no, not really. I mean, I feel like that's all I wanted was married and a boyfriend. Okay. So like no fantasies about being with other women.
Guest: No, not really. I mean, I've had 'em before, but it's been a while since you know, we're in this.
Leyna: Well, you forgot to tell me about that part. this was prior to us being married? Yes. Oh, oh, okay. So were you just experimenting or are you bisexual?
Guest: Uh I'm bi.
Leyna: And is there a reason why you're not exploring that more in your marriage?
Guest: Um, well, I mean, we've tried and we've looked, but most of the women are outta state, so it's hard to find somebody around here. Mm-hmm, , isn't exactly the ideal state to live in for this lifestyle.
Leyna: Well, where are you guys?
Guest: We live in Oklahoma.
Leyna: Okay. Uh, so it's not for not trying. You just haven't been able to really find anyone. To do that with right.
Guest: It's it's yeah, we live right in the heart of the Bible belt, so.
Leyna: Right. Well, and so do a lot of swingers. I'm just telling you y'all out there. Y'all out there. You don't advertise it, but I know you're there , um,
Guest: true story.
Leyna: But that would be something that you are interested in then.
So you're not interested in just going and playing separately, but you are interested in like finding a woman for both of you?
Guest: No. Uh, well, I mean, I don't know. We really haven't talked about that part. We've talked about, you know, me and the woman, but we've never really talked about him. Oh, being it, it would be, I would like to watch her play with another woman.
Leyna: Oh. But you wouldn't participate?
Guest: If the opportunity was there and the other woman was comfortable with it and she was comfortable with it and sure.
Leyna: Yeah. Holly, would you be comfortable with it?
Guest: Uh, yeah, I think I would, I guess. I don't know until we try .
Leyna: And how, what are your thoughts, Holly, on like, let's say he did want to, you know, go be with someone else.
Would you be okay with that?
Guest: Um, I don't know.
Leyna: That's a no, that's a no, uh,
Guest: yeah, I don't know if that's okay. Maybe.
Leyna: and you don't have, uh, neither of you have any of these, uh, you know, wild swinger fantasies, like, uh, you know, orgies or, you know, multi couple things.
Guest: Mm-hmm no, no,
Leyna: you're kind of more like, like, like a vanilla swinger.
Guest: I wouldn't even really classify as swinging it just
Leyna: right, because you don't cause you don't play.
Guest: Yeah. I, I just, the, the, the swinging aspect of it, the not knowing the person and when I say not knowing the person, I mean, on a more intimate level, Instead of just a, a meet, greet, find a room. I just, it's not really in our wheelhouse. It's not
Leyna: Uhhuh. You're you're looking more for a connection.
Guest: Yeah. Yes.
Leyna: Um, and so what is the situation right now?
The, the boyfriend has now moved?
Guest: Yeah, he's been, he moved away. He's been gone for two years now. Three oh, almost three. but he'll come back and I'll stay with him in a hotel when he's here. Yeah, he visits. I mean, it's maybe once or twice a year.
Leyna: And, and so what do you, what do you guys do now that like, she doesn't have a regular boyfriend?
Guest: Honestly searching mm-hmm oh, you have been, it's a, it's a daunting task, but quality, not quantity.
Leyna: You just haven't had luck finding a guy that you both like?
Guest: Not even that it's. It's finding somebody that one who will be honest. That's that's the, the biggest issue. A lot of guys just I'll talk to 'em, she'll talk to 'em they'll wanna meet, they want a one time thing and then move on. Or they want pictures, pictures and videos.
And that's it. They don't want to meet or nothing.
Leyna: Okay. So, so now you're on the search for. FWB so they give me this in notes and I had to ask what's FWB stand for, uh, so friends with benefits. I learned something else today. And I here, I thought I already knew a lot. Um, and like, what are you looking for?
I mean, gimme some parameters.
Guest: Male, 30 to 45, clean cut, honest, not shy, willing to be open.
Leyna: Do you prefer if he's married or single?
Guest: No, as long as there is an understanding that what's said in here stays in here, Uhhuh what's said between us stays between us. If you are married and your spouse doesn't know, and they find out don't throw us under the bus, leave us out of it.
Leyna: Yeah. Did your boyfriend's wife know?
Leyna: Through the whole time he never, uh, she never knew ?
Leyna: Oh, wow. What is your response to people who might say, well, that's not really ethical if the guy's wife doesn't know,
Guest: is any of it ethical?
Leyna: Well, if everyone's consenting, you know, but like I've heard some people say it's up to the person they're married to right.
To, to tell the truth. Right. And, and, and some people would prefer that everyone knew.
Guest: To each his own. I mean, it probably sounds really mean saying it that way.
Leyna: But you're not the moral police meaning you're, you're just,
Guest: no, there you go. Thank you. You took the words outta my mouth.
Leyna: Um, okay. So there are no fantasies that you have either of you?
Guest: That's a, that's a hard question to ask or to even respond to. Um,
Leyna: Like if you could have everything your way, what would you like to do?
Guest: To be honest with you and her and I have talked about it before.
I mean, the more we talk about it and I. I guess you could kind of say we tee her on the lines of being poly and having somebody, having her boyfriend actually live with us.
Leyna: Oh. And you'd be okay with that.
Guest: Yeah. I mean, when he, when her boyfriend comes to town, when he does visit, I mean, she spends the weekends with him.
Leyna: And, and why doesn't he stay with you guys?
Guest: Other people in the house? Oh, okay. We got kids.
Leyna: Oh, you have kids. Okay. Um, and how, and how old are your kids?
Guest: 18. 14 and 11. Oh, so you've got some years before the, that, uh, nest is empty. you, you still got some sneaking around to do.
Yeah. Oh yes.
Leyna: Like what, like what, what has this done?
What has this done for your marriage? Anything?
Guest: Honestly, between her and I, the openness and the honesty between her eye. Yeah. Very, very upfront. Brutally honest with each other and, and not just in our sex life, but in general.
Leyna: So it's spilled out into the rest of your relationship?
Guest: Yes. Yes, absolutely.
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