EP 080 Why I'm a Cuck

Those not in a cuckolding dynamic don't understand why a man would want his wife to sleep around but not do the same himself. This one-way non-monogamy is one of many aspects of cuckolding that don't make sense to others. Richard is Crystal Welch's husband. (from episode 75) He explains what drives his desire to be a cuck, and why he would engage in sexual activities with other men even though he's not attracted to men and doesn't consider himself bisexual. He talks cleanup and other things that make cucks tick.  You can find Bitchard on Twitter @Crystals_cuck

Leyna 0:00
You're looking on Craigslist one day and you see this ad for a cuck. Yeah. And you thought hey, I'm the guy that was it.

Leyna 0:07
So you're pissed off and turned on? 

Guest 0:12
I exactly and how these two emotions can coexist because I was really pissed off and really turned on. 

Leyna 0:19
Are you straight or bi

Guest 0:24
I'm not interested in just going out and sucking some guy's dick just for the hell of sucking his dick. It's really the charges when my wife is there. Not only is she fucking somebody right in front of you in your marital bed, but he's cumming Inside her, and then you're licking it out

Leyna 0:44
Like, does that part turn you on? Like, do you okay, you know what, I'm just gonna do like the taste.

Leyna 0:49
So let's get to it. 

(Podcast Show Open)

The conversations you're about to hear are intended for mature audiences. If adult themes are offensive to you, well, grow up…
So dirty, talk so sex talk. Yeah, it started off as dirty talk. I was actually like, very excited to see my partner with somebody else. She looked at me and said, so you want to have sex with other people? That's what you’re saying. And you find it a turn on to hear about what he did. Yeah. And then it's like, I want to come home and get it the way she got it. Does he know you have a boyfriend this is consenting adults with Leyna Nguyen. 

(End Podcast Show Open)

Leyna 1:27
My guest today is a 60 year old ish man. He is the cuck husband to Krystal Welch who we interviewed back in episode 75. It was such an interesting conversation hearing things I'd never heard of before that I said, you know, it would be really awesome if we could hear from the male half of this couple and he's here with me today. So you and your wife have been together for eight years. She found you on Craigslist. I mean, you answered an ad of a woman looking for a cuck. Had you been in the lifestyle before seeing this ad? 

Guest 2:06
Yes. I had. I was in a previous marriage that was open. I would not classify it as a cuckold relationship but it was certainly open and certainly she took great liberties in enjoying other people while we were married much more than I did. Maybe hotwife, vixen would be a little closer. 

Leyna 2:25
But were you submissive in that relationship? 

Guest 2:27
Not at all. No. And then just to finish that thought when we did separate, it had nothing at all to do with our lifestyle or our sexuality. It had to do with some other issues that we couldn't surmount. 

Leyna 2:43
I’m glad you said that. Because I think a lot of people not in the lifestyle think that the lifestyle is a good way to end a marriage. And so thank you for adding that because very often, just like in any other relationship, there are breakups. And it's not necessarily because of the sex that you're having. Right?

Guest 3:01
Yeah, absolutely. It was not at all due, that said we probably stayed together for five more years than we should have because the sex was so rockin right all right, 

Leyna 3:10
So you had a little experience in the lifestyle and then what you're you're looking on Craigslist one day and you see this ad for a cuck Yeah, and you thought hey, I'm the guy. 

Guest 3:21
That was it. I wasn't even necessarily looking for anybody to date. It was more like you know, used to look at Craigslist because that's where all the freaks when I can. So you know, I was just surfing around seeing what people were, you know, putting out there and I saw this ad for a cuck. So I wrote her, you know, just a quick paragraph. And one thing I have learned about online dating is what works for me is actually meeting pretty quickly so I wrote her a quick email and said, Hey, would you be available for you know, meet for drinks like Wednesday a couple days out or something, you know, two or three days out? And sure enough, she was available. And so we met for cocktails, and we just clicked just from the first moment that I saw her.

Guest 4:06
And it's been steady and on my half anyway, almost entirely exclusive except for right at the very beginning there was I was actually involved with somebody else sort of as a friend with benefit thing for a short time. 

Leyna 4:25
Now, how quickly did you fall into the cuck thing?So it was like just kind of like after you got together?

Guest 4:33
Yeah, I mean, it was pretty much from the very beginning that that happened. I mean, clearly that was her expectation and it was mine. 

Leyna 4:42
Okay. Now explain to me what that dynamic was like in the beginning. What was the arrangement? 

Guest 4:48
There were certainly some femdom themes in this there was certainly this idea of consensual non monogamy from the very beginning. One way yeah, one way non monogamy Yeah. 

Leyna 5:02
So what kind of things did you think you would enjoy? Like why did you get into this relationship? 

Guest 5:07
Yeah, so some things that I've found about myself is one is that with my former wife, you know, I found like when we were at swing parties or seeing other couples or whatever, that really my main interest was often in watching her and sometimes I feel a little bit guilty because, you know, in a two ways swing thing. She's with him and you're supposed to be with her, if you know what I mean. Sure. And oftentimes, I was distracted because it was more interesting for me personally, to watch then to necessarily play and so I've found that I had a voyeur streak in me. And then the other thing is, it's kind of is this idea of Compersion. The best way I can describe that is when I see her with somebody else it gives me great joy. And when I see her enjoying herself and having her moments it really brings me happiness, and I don't know exactly what to compare that to it's obviously it's the very opposite of jealousy. It's a supercharged emotion for me that it's it's not like I'm okay with her being with somebody else. It's that I really like her having great experiences with other people. And so I sort of recognize some of those, you know, the seeds of that from my very first marriage. 

Leyna 6:32
Okay, but other than just liking that your wife is playing with someone else. Is it also a turn on? 

Guest 6:40
Yeah, yeah, there's definitely I've eroticized this and you know, that's one of the hardest things to describe to non Cucks is that you still feel an immense amount of emotion inside but somehow or another, the way you experience that emotion is different than jealousy. And so it's a little bit difficult for me to put it exactly into words, but you still have a very, very strong emotion but somehow or another, you've eroticized this and so, so it's it's a positive thing that you you know, your mind and body enjoys, instead of being negative thing. 

Leyna 7:19
So for anyone who's ever felt that green monster, that pit in your stomach when you're jealous, right, that I mean, it's an incredibly strong emotion. It's like if you took that same strength of emotion with jealousy, and then just turned it positive, right, right. It's still that same, like it's real. It's way up there. Yeah, rather than being so destructive because it can be a very destructive emotion. Yeah, so just the opposite, right?

Guest 7:54
 It is. It's just Yeah. And it's funny because it's the same emotion but it's how you choose to experience it in some ways, or I draw a parallel to the BDSM world where some people enjoy pain and somehow or another they've eroticized it so that you know, they get pleasurable feelings from things that I wouldn't necessarily get any pleasure from. 

Leyna 8:15
Right. Can you describe to me your evolution as a cuckold couple? So you know, in the beginning it was, you know, watching your wife or knowing that your wife was with someone else is hot, like, how have you progressed? 

Guest 8:29
Um, what might be a good story to tell you here is how I got involved with my first wife in an open relationship. And then I'll, I'll circle back to your question quite a few years ago and my first wife and I, we hadn't been married very long, like, four months or five months, something like that. And I went on a ski trip with some buddies of mine. And when I got back, she was just kind of distant, you know, it's just not her normal, bubbly self. And that went on for a couple of weeks. And then finally, you know, we just sort of were in the kitchen having a cup of coffee and I said, you know, you just have been the same person since the ski trip. Is there anything you know, that I've done or said, or was it me going alone or what was the deal? And then she just opened up and just started crying said I just I can't believe I did this. But while you were gone, I was with a man and I just can't hold this back anymore. And it just immediately it was just, you know, like, somebody hit me in the face. I mean, so she cheated on you. She did she 100% cheated on me in every definition of the word. But what was odd was at first I was I was punched in the stomach and I was just the breath was taken out of me, but other parts of my body started responding. And I was like, What the hell? I mean, literally, I didn't understand what was happening to me. 

Leyna 9:53
So you're pissed off and turned on? I exactly. And how these two emotions can coexist, because I was really pissed off and really turned on and so we ended up making up right there on the kitchen floor. And it was, it was one of the hottest, you know, marital recoveries ever. 

Leyna 10:12
Right? So she was very sorry. And you were very, were very forgiving. Right there. 

Guest 10:16
Yeah, right there. Yeah, we got it behind us real quick. And then afterward, we were both like literally, I'm serious. We were both kind of leaning against some cabinets on the kitchen floor, just puddles of sweat. And like what the hell just happened? You know? And both of them are looking at each other. Like, where did that come from? You know, and so then we spent quite a bit of time talking about it and maybe six or seven months after that we went to a swinger like hotel, and you know, and then we started kind of getting into the swinger lifestyle and then occasionally she would meet guys on her own and, and occasionally I would meet girls on my own, and so we kind of be you know, bounced through that lifestyle with no specific idea about cuckolding or anything. So to circle back to answering your question was I was completely totally caught off guard by my own emotions when when I first experienced being cuckolded, 

Leyna 11:17
But which was when I mean, because it's hard for people to understand that thin line between hot wifing and cucking right? 

Guest 11:25
Yeah, yeah, they're definitely different. So in this case, I'm calling it she was straight up cheating. Honestly, I wouldn't even put it. I generally consider cuckolding An expression of ethical non monogamy. What she did was straight up cheating. 

Leyna 13:03
You’re now with your new wife and you knew she wanted a cuck How did you know that you were a cuck and how what is the difference? Was it some sort of humiliation or something else that's more associated with cuckolding? 

Guest 13:17
So what led me to be interested in a cuckolding ad to start with was the fact that as as my sexual relationship with my previous wife matured, I found myself more drawn to voyeurism and watching and and then somewhere in there, I started getting more interested in femdoming and of course femdoming tightly connects to cuckolding. I think there's femdoms that don't cuckold and I think there's some cuckold relationships that don't have femdoming but I think there's an awful lot of overlap. 

Leyna 13:48
And for those who don't understand, can you at least give me some examples of activities that you would you would do in a femdom thing? 

Guest 13:57
Yeah, so from the word obviously, female domination is a sort of a choice of, of how you're going to set up a power structure inside of your marriage. In my case, I was really interested in it and it's largely because it's my way of relaxing and setting aside my responsibilities and just allowing myself you know, to to be dominated and so I don't have to think I don't have to make any decisions. I don't you know, it's my escape. You know, we're not 24/7 by any means of the word 

Leyna 14:35
But, can you give me examples of of like, stuff that you would do because, you know, when you say female domination, if people aren't in the lifestyle, they're not gonna know what the heck you're talking about. Like literally what kind of activities like she tell you to do things does she make you do things? Do you just follow directions and what does she make you do? 



Guest 14:53
Yeah, well make is in quote marks, right. I don't think she's ever made me do anything that we hadn't previously discussed. And we're both interested in and so in terms of sexual practices, you know, we've tried pegging cross dressing, male contact with me having contact with the guy, but just her, you know, kind of generally bossing me around that. Quite often. We do sort of this servant femdom kind of mistress role playing and, and some of it doesn't work very well and some of it we love. 

Leyna 15:33
Are you straight or bi?

Guest 15:34
You get caught up in vocabulary. I'm not ashamed to admit that I have contact with men, but bisexuality quite often infers some sort of romantic or an action toward men. Right. And I don't feel that way about other men. I like delivering oral to her lovers. But I would never like go out and meet a guy for a date and not to be judgmental. But just the idea of kissing a guy or kind of grosses me out. And so 

Leyna 16:15
So really, it's all in service to your wife. 

Guest 16:18
Exactly. I'm not ashamed of the word bi I wouldn't be ashamed of the word gay when it comes to touching other men. But I think there's a lot of inference in those terms that just don't apply to me. And so, you know, I've tried to be careful about them

Leyna 16:33
Sure now when you're doing these things, participating in those activities. Are you turned on? 

Guest 16:39
Oh, yeah, definitely. But, but it's, it's much more the service and the submission. Right. That is the turn on, you know, because I mean, I could go out and, excuse me, I could go out and suck dick every day of the week. You know, how guys are you? Know, but I just I'm not, I'm not interested in just going out and sucking some guys dick just for the hell of sucking his dick, it's really the charge is when my wife is there. 



Leyna 17:08
Sure. Okay. If I recall correctly, your wife told me you did clean up like the first encounter that you guys had. Is that true? Yeah, she said so. Yeah.

Guest 17:16
No, and not just right. You just don't have a memory. I know.

Leyna 17:25
I probably all You men are all of like, okay. But can you explain that to me? I know I've had a lot of women. Explain it to me. Okay, so our listeners have heard women saying, Oh, he loves it. I want to hear it from a man. 

Guest 17:41
Oh, boy. Well, it this this digs really deeply into playing with your own emotions. And to me it's almost the ultimate expression of power exchange because not only is she fucking somebody, not only she fucking somebody right in front of you in your marital bed, but he's coming inside her and then you're licking it out. To me. It's sort of taking it to the you know, ultimate extreme of the entire power exchange of her being with other men and you being submissive. 

Leyna 18:16
So then, but it is a turn on it and it's Oh, absolutely. Without a doubt it's it's a great turn on. Okay, now for people who don't do that. Don't get it. I think that you know, their first reaction is eww, right. 

Guest 18:32
Oh, yeah. 

Leyna 18:33
Yeah. So and to them, it comes from I believe it comes from like, Oh, that's gross. So the now we're getting down to the details like, taste and smell and all that. And I think it just grosses people out because they don't understand is that all a turn on for you surely for the power exchange, like the ultimate. She's got total control over you. You're going to do this for her. But what about the just the physicality of everything? Like does that part turn you on? Like do you okay, you know what, I'm just gonna do like the taste?

Guest 19:10
You know this I don't want to dodge your question, but it's almost like it does the taste doesn't even matter. I mean, the charge comes from the power that's where the whole charge comes from. Right? The taste is okay. I mean, guys taste different ways and, and certainly not with my current wife, but you know, I oral sex with some women isn't as pleasurable as it is with others. You know, it's just that's just the way we humans are. Yeah, but in general, the taste is fine. I don't know that I would ever like serve it for dinner. But that's that's just totally not what it's about. What it's about is you know, literally you're reading another man's cum out of your own wives, you know, freshly fucked, pussy. I mean, just in the book, you know, grossest of terms, that's when it really comes down to power wise. 

Leyna 20:05
Sure. She also told me about this other thing that you guys started doing and that is emptying a used condom in your mouth. Hello, are you still there?

Guest 20:14
Yeah. I’m jumping around a little bit because that's not something we just started doing. Correct her? That's something that we have done but actually haven't done in a while. But yeah, there was a partner that she had a while back. They were doing safe sex. And he was he was a very casual partner. So I was glad for that. But afterward, we had a really powerful session and part of it did include her feeding me Yeah. 

Leyna 20:47
Oh, so so like you weren't right there anything. 

Guest 20:51
I was not right there. 

Leyna 20:54
She brought home the used condom and emptied it in your mouth. 

Guest 20:58
She had him over at our house. And so she didn't bring it home. But yeah, it was in the bedroom when I got home that Oh, and 

Leyna 21:07
So you weren't even home and she saved a used condom line and emptied it in your mouth. Right. And that was good. 

Guest 21:19
Are you okay with this? It was different. I mean, we haven't done it since then. It was you know, it was sort of trippy. 

Leyna 21:29
So again, it's the idea of doing something so taboo and doing right doing something so out there in service to your wife. 

Leyna 21:36
Yeah, clearly and part of it is you know, and this is so hard to describe to non cucks but part of it is is the power exchange of her having control over her own body and being able to fuck around and you can't, right. And then, you know, the the expression of like the used condom thing or, you know, she has certainly other times where there's been used condoms, she'll be sure that they're like on my pillow or left beside the bed or some really obvious place where they're left out where she knows I’ll see them, and it's just sort of, you know, like poking me that see see see at night. 

Leyna 22:16
I think it's really important to point out that outside the bedroom outside of the sex that you have with your wife, the you that the public sees is very different from this right? Yeah, absolutely. You're a successful man. Yeah. What is your personality like outside the bedroom?

Guest 22:34
Yeah, just the opposite. I would classify myself as is almost an extreme Alpha. Maybe a little bit of the reason that I look for this beta activity is to take the edge off of my alpha nature, but I run I have a very large group of mostly men that work for me in a in a very highly charged atmosphere and you know, in terms of pressure and hierarchy and so forth. My work is the exact opposite of my own life. And even at home when we're not in the, in the dynamic in the moment, if you want to put it that way. We have, you know, a pretty common marriage where we disagree with each other and, you know, sometimes I get to pick what restaurant we go to and sometimes she gets to pick what restaurant we go to, you know, we don't live this dynamic in a 24/7 you know, kind of fashion at all 

Leyna 23:34
Right? Is there anything that we didn't cover that you feel is important? 

Guest 23:37
You know, you can trust whatever number you want to trust. But let's say better than half of all marriages will experience some sort of infidelity or another. I don't want to say it's inevitable. But it's not unlikely. In fact, it's actually likely and so, I would just encourage anybody to think through like what is the best, most most healthy, positive way of dealing with the fact that a lot of people just don't naturally live inside of monogamous relationships, and that's just the reality of the world. And so how do you want to treat that when it happens to you? I'm not saying that cuckolding is the only way but it certainly is a way that rather than her infidelity, leading us further and further apart it brings us closer and closer together. It certainly isn't an answer for everybody. But for those that are, you know, willing to try and that have the right mindset. I think it's a great way of dealing with what is you know, a lot of natural instincts among human beings.

Leyna:
That’s Crystal Welch’s husband, aka Bitchard. If you missed Crystal’s interview go back to episode 75, I found my cuck husband online. This was the third of our three special episodes for Cuckweek 2022.  If you missed the other two, go back to episode 78, The high profile cuck, and also ep. 79 Contract for Cuckolding.Now, let’s get back into the swing of things, shall we?  A birthday trip to a nude resort leads to fulfilling fantasies in the lifestyle.
Guest:   The other woman’s fantasy was to suck two cocks at one time, she’s never done that. oh. So she did. Swords crossed a little bit and that was different.  Did you freak out at all? No, that sort of surprised me.
That’s next time, on Consenting Adults.