EP 078 High Profile Cuck

De-stigmatizing Cuckolding. Man with high-profile job explains why he's a cuck. He wants to give up control, not have to think, and be just the opposite of what he's like in his every day life. This is the first in a series of three episodes for Cuck Week. Scott talks about why it's been a difficult journey trying to figure out where he is on the spectrum, how this fits in with his life, and how to embrace his own definition of cuckolding. He also talks about autofellatio. The end.  Scott is on Twitter @TheGeekyCuckold

Ep 78 High Profile Cuck
Transcription:
​​Guest 0:01
When I was a much more flexible man, I used to be able to give myself oral to a relative degree. I know how

Leyna 0:11
Scott I'm just assuming that most guys if they could, they would

Guest 0:20
Oh any guys telling you differently is selling something for high or just a habitual liar. I've thought to myself, What am I bi? Because I enjoy look at a dick's I enjoy holding his dick while you're riding them. So like there's something else there and came one time in my mouth and it was a thing.

Leyna 0:43
Yeah, yeah, it was a thing.

Guest 0:46
Do I clean him up out of her or clean him off from her? I think maybe I go that route first.

Leyna 0:54
Oh, okay. I don't know why it's less fattening.

Guest 0:58
It's almost the exact second after you have finished pulsing. Like, what have I done?

Leyna 1:08
Get ready.This is consenting adults. 

(Podcast Show Open)

Announcer 1:10
The conversations you're about to hear or intended for mature audiences. If adult themes are offensive to you, well, you might want to pull out now so dirty talks. Next time
it started off as dirty. I was actually like, very excited to see my partner with somebody else. She looked at me and said so you want to have sex with other people.
And you find it a turn on to hear about what he did.
Yeah. And then it's like, I want to come home and get it the way she got it. Does he know you have a boyfriend? Yes.
This is consenting adults with Leyna Nguyen.
(End Show Open)

Leyna 1:44
Hi everyone if you didn't already know what it is cuck week, and I've received a lot of requests to be a part of it. So this week, instead of one, I'm releasing three episodes. This episode is on a cuck with a very high profile career. The next one is talking to a cuckoldress and the third one as promised my interview with Krystal Welch's husband from Episode 75. I hope you're enjoying the content and if you do, please consider supporting it by going to buymeacoffee.com/leynanguyen. My guest today is 37 year old Scott a father of three who married his high school sweetheart. They've been married for about 13 years. He's a government affairs professional. They are polyamorous the wife has had a steady boyfriend for the past two years. Oh, and he's a cuck. You're just checking off all the boxes for me today. Scott. Welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm interested in talking to you because as we all know, there's a spectrum, right? Yes. And I have recently spoken to a couple of men who to me sound like they're in cuckold relationships, but they're very hesitant to admit it because of you know, the shame that goes with it the stigma, the whatever's out there in the vanilla world, probably from porn, right?

Guest 3:06
That's exactly it.

Leyna 3:08
So how do you feel about that?

Guest 3:10
It's unfortunate. It's sad. I mean, there's so many things that we've come around on in the past couple of decades. And obviously we're starting to open up but the problem is when you when you open up this area for exploration for people, nine times out of 10 Porn is exactly where they're getting their information from. And so you go into it assuming Oh, so I've got to let her fuck him and eat her out when I've done like, like that like a checklist. Okay, I did this, and then you've returned, I'm recording this. It's no, there's a lot that goes into it. And it doesn't fit everybody the same way. Right. Some people are a little bit more on the stag in the spectrum. Some people look at more on the cuckold end of the spectrum, and that's fine whichever way you are but they're not only born, but there are people in the lifestyle who are very, very set in their ways you are this and that is all you will ever be. You know, and that's all she wrote. And I definitely try to fight against that as much as possible because I disagree



Leyna 4:08
And not to mention the spectrum of different activities that people participate in, but also porn makes it look like like the man does not want it that the right that the man is made to do something against his will that he does not enjoy

Guest 4:26
correct it conflate oftentimes more BDSM power exchanges with cuckolding and it's taking the angst right and amping it up to 11. Right. And that's not all. Not everybody wants it that way.

Leyna 4:43
We should let our listeners know. I know what you do for a living. I've generalized it by saying you're a government affairs professional. And I am just so intrigued by the different personalities and very many of the men I've talked to in cuckold relationships or in these you know, high powered professions is like outside of the bedroom. You're not the guy to for people to push around, right?

Guest 5:10
No, I mean, a lot of the meetings that I'm taking on on a daily or weekly basis are are legitimate with legislators, governors, secretaries of state attorneys general so it's a very high powered job. And I think that you see a theme with people with those kinds of high powered jobs where it's like, okay, I punched out. I don't want to be this anymore. I'd like to let go just a little bit.

Leyna 5:35
Sure. Okay, so let's go back. Um, you've been with your high school sweetheart. So you guys have been together for a very long time since you're pretty young. Yes. Did you guys dabble in the lifestyle at all before it became a cuckolding marriage?

Guest 5:49
Not even a little bit. Oh, I don't plug things in other people's stuff. And I won't here but I've talked about this before on on some of the things that I run and I've I've laid out the entire story and the short and sweet of it is there's only happened about three going on four years ago and there was a gigantic life change life event that happened to my wife that kind of set these gears in motion, and it came down to okay are we going to continue having this marriage you know, with the House and the kids and the dogs and whatnot? Or are we going to go our separate ways and for me it was a matter of you know what I can understand where you're coming from with this want this need and I it may be old fashioned I took vows right and part of the Vows are for better for worse. And this was definitely worse. At the time, it was a rude awakening, I would all happen. But I was bound and determined to make sure that we make it work and it's taken a long time. It's taken the better part of three and a half years to really find our groove but now that we have you know there's some missteps every now and again but I do wish that we had started sooner because there are things that this lifestyle and not even just cuckolding and really any anything in the e&m poly sphere. It does wonders for relationship even a healthy relationship and I wish more people would open their minds to it.

Leyna 7:09
Are you able to share what what this life changing event was?

Guest 7:13
Yeah. So so her mother passed away. And she was I say young, relatively young when when she did by today's standards, and she was very close to her. It was a big kind of aware of my going What am I doing? Do I want to have any regrets sort of moment and while it may not have been handled in the right way up front how it manifested you know when or something I discovered that was a want of hers it was a come to Jesus conversation, but that's just it. It was a conversation. And I feel like so much of this becomes problematic when two people don't talk because right we all you know we go out to meet people we set ourselves up as the best possible versions of ourselves and for the most part we kind of suck there's a lot about us that you know is is nasty or maybe not acceptable by other people and so we put on this other mask and my God if we just took them off at jumped straight if we had that ability, I feel like we would find that we have much more in common with each other even in these sorts of areas. And then we another otherwise thought

Leyna 8:13
so it sounds like and I've heard this from from other people in the lifestyle and that is you. You kind of look at mortality differently, right? It's like you only got so much time on this earth. How are you going to spend it?

Guest 8:25
Yeah, I've hit my midlife crisis a few years early. So this is a question I've had going on in my head for a little while now. And and you're absolutely right. You get one go round the blue marble right and you don't want to close the book, having several chapters that have been completely unwritten. And not only that is almost unfair, that we should expect a partner to be 100% of what we need at any given time. It is just untenable. We are too different even when we are like I'm married to somebody who is in most ways, the exact opposite of me. And so in the things that she likes, why wouldn't I want her to have the fulfillment of her life to get these things that maybe are not things that I can give her or maybe not things that are interesting to me and I don't want to fake it. I mean, that's not to say that I won't try new things, but um, something I don't like, it doesn't mean I don't want her to go to that concert or to go to that gangbang it really, you know, either side of the spectrum.

Leyna 9:27
Okay, let's get to the sexy stuff. Can we? Okay, all about this. All right. How did it start? I mean, you It always amazes me, no matter how many people I talk to, is like, how do you start?

Guest 9:42
Yeah, the way that I found worked for me and it's because we were coming into a cold I over think things I overanalyze things. I have every iteration of every conversation in my head before I've ever had in my mind is exhausting place. And so for this, I applied those same things was like okay, well, we're gonna do this incrementally. So we started off with just, you know, when all this came about, I discovered the she'd already been sexting other men and so that was you know, that was the kind of crucible moment for this. So I'm like, Okay, well, well, we'll keep going with that, right? Because there's no physical interaction. You’re just is talking. And I put a whole bunch of rules on it right, because I want to safeguard myself and my self image and you know, my ego because they had been bruised by virtue of how this all came about, and it was the absolutely wrong thing to do. Because I would go in and you know, I had access to all over socials, etc. And I let all these things get to me rather than just enjoying the sexy because I mean, God knows some of these conversations. I wish I could go back and read and be like, That was hot. If I just got my head over my buddy. That's how it started. It started with those conversations until we got to a point where it's like, Okay, do we want to do a thing now and there was somebody that you know, we've been talking to both of us for a while a married couple. The man had wanted to fly out here anyway. And so he did. And it was about as big a clusterfuck as a clusterfuck could be. When it happened every is the flight was delayed, and it was only gonna be one day anyway. So she ended up going over there at like his hotel. Room. One o'clock, two o'clock in the morning, I think, Oh, and here I am. I'm wanting to watch them. I think when you're a teenager because of necessity, a dick in the hands at two in the morning works. Two in the morning when you're in your 30s like I just want to go to sleep at this. Like it's not waking up for anybody. I don't know who it is or what we're doing. That's kind of how it started.

Leyna 11:47
Uh huh. No, why didn't you guys go into swinging and how quickly did it did it form into more of a cuck thing?


Guest 11:54
That's on me actually. Because when she admitted she wanted other guys I then admitted to her. Yeah, I've kind of been watching this porn for a few years now. And again, this is what I'd say is if we had just been talking right and have been able to be vulnerable with each other. We don't know that's already but for me, I thought okay, this is the way that I'm going to make this easier for me and my brain to internalize right is, I'm going to just go full cuck. That's how I'm going to view it because that's the porn I’ve watched. That's been the thing that's been hot. So and there was a little bit of naïveté there. I thought that adding in that dynamic, and then essentially because for all intents and purposes, we were changing our marriage from something monogamous right to something e&m, e&m And then eventually, Poly. I think that swinging might have been something that would have helped first, but then by the same token, I get something out of her being with somebody else that she doesn't get from me and I have gone on other dates. I have been with other women since we've opened up our marriage. And it's not the same dynamic for the two of us. Now, that's not to say that maybe maybe we'll come to a point where I don't know we both find the same woman we're attracted to or a couple and that happens. We're open to it. But that's just not the way that the cards have kind of been dumped to us.

Leyna 13:07
And well, and not to mention, that's just not the way you're wired.

Guest 13:11
Not really. And this this thing goes back to that spectrum. And that's been a lot of the difficulty in my head, right is the angst of it. It would be easy if I was one of the guys who who really solidly identifies as a cuck in the classical porn way. Like I have a two inch dick and I'm wearing a chastity cage and I can't get my wife off and bla bla bla bla bla, that's not my situation. I I'm decently well endowed, I can get my wife off, she has no complaints. Her boyfriend is a ridiculous, like long tail, upper end of the bell curve spectrum and basically every other way so you know, that helps the cuck part right? is I still have a wide gap is just he's really up here. And that helps but the wiring is still something that you can you can fight against, especially when the angst takes over. Interesting. It can be really hard for you to kind of quote unquote, accept a position because it's like, well, I'm still a good looking guy, I can still get somebody else if I wanted to, I can still make people feel good and happy. And there's a lot of self esteem that's tied into it. And I think the guys who are purely like cuckold submissives like they they kind of fit the whole end of that other side of the spectrum. Sometimes I'm almost jealous because it's like you not only feel wired that way you have 100% accepted it. And for me that has been very difficult.

Leyna 14:33
Is it difficult for you to kind of draw the line between like, when does it just turn you on? To see your wife was someone else versus you're a cuck? Right Like to me I still can't Is it because it's the one way thing where yeah, it turns you on to see your wife was someone else and you really kind of don't want to be with anyone else. Does that kind of make you more of a cuck?

Guest 14:59
um, a lot of the reason that I haven't really explored as much I mean, the pandemic kind of put a damper on it too, right? But I'm also picky. For me, it's like if I'm going to be with somebody else, right? I want them to be as as good as my wife, or else what am I doing? Why don't Why am I bothering right? And I'm super picky. So my enjoyment is more on the stag end of the spectrum where it's like she's my own personal porn star kind of a thing I enjoy watching my wife get off and enjoy herself. She doesn't have a lot of those really dominant tendencies again that you see more in the porn, more from conflation. of BDSM and power change with cuckolding. But we've started to add those elements in as she's become more comfortable. And as she knows I can handle it better because I've had a lot of moments of these prices of competence where I'm like, a lot of these things sparked some depression and anxiety in me that I never felt before. And so I've been kind of dealing with that for the past few years. Some other physical changes, too. And so when I have these kind of dark moments where I'm getting down on myself, she's like, well, I don't want to do that anymore to you because I love you. I don't want to hurt you. And it's like, I know we just need to really be clear on fantasy versus reality. And that's as much a reminder for me as anything else.

Leyna 17:33
So you're like You're like the evolving cuck.

Guest 17:35
i Yeah, I'm used the monkey to the the human, that old chart, that you’d see in schools, or whatever. I'm like two or three maybe removed from the end. I still got a little ways to go before I'm fully upright, right or erect.

Leyna 17:52
Is that exactly there you go. Very interesting. Okay. What kind of activities do you like? Like it has to go beyond just watching her?

Guest 18:02
It Yeah, we've we've added in some some things over time. Right? It did start with just watching and just watching virtually through you know, FaceTime or whatnot. When we started doing it in person, you know she she'll throw out little things that do kind of hit the cuck button. Like couple times she sent me out of the room or she enjoys me holding him when when she is going to ride him and you know, helping insert him I'm much more a mental with when I do kind of go the submissive route. I'm much more mental than physical and like I bruise like a Georgia peach. So don't paddle me or you know anything like that, please. But if you want to tell me about how much better his dick is working for you than mine. Well, I'm all for that. So is the mental exercises. I think they get me more than anything else when she posts to her OnlyFans or to her socials, little little tidbits, snippets of conversations between her and I or pictures that you know maybe I'm not sure other people are going to see and they really do hit that cuck button like one that she posted that was a size comparison between me and him and again like I'm good, he's better. So those those things, I think hit the hit the button for me of enjoyment more than anything else.

Leyna 19:21
Have you gone the cream pie cleanup road?

Guest 19:24
I haven't you know, when I was a much more flexible man I used to be able to give myself oral to a relative degree I know,

Leyna 19:38
Scott. Yes, can’t just throw that out there and keep walking.

Guest 19:47
Oh, I was not a contortionist. But I can get about an inch and a half to two inches in my mouth.

Leyna 19:53
Wow. Oh, no, no, no, no, I don't. Okay, I'm just assuming that most guys if they could, they would.

Guest 20:03
Oh, anybody who says differently is selling something for high or just a habitual liar. Yeah, no, right. Okay, I was. I won't, I won't. skip past okay, I was probably in my earlier 20s And it's one of the things were just like, You know what, I think it's big enough. If I just folded myself over and kind of walk my feet down the wall and did this and tuck that like, I could do it. And I found that I couldn't so there were a couple of times where I did it and came one time in my mouth. And it was a thing.

Leyna 20:37
Yeah, yeah, it was a thing.
Guest 20:42
It wasn’t bad. I think for me, it was hard to completely accept. I don't know how I identify. Currently, that's an exploration thing for me because I've kind of told myself for the longest time now you're just straight and that's all that you'll ever be. But it especially it's kind of ramped up as we've been doing. More and more in this lifestyle. I've I've thought to myself, What am I bi? Because I enjoy look at a dick's I enjoy holding his dick while you're riding them. So like there's something else there. I think maybe it's if I had to classify myself like maybe pansexual it's more of the person than anything else. I do not say I wouldn't do any cleanup. I just haven't gotten to a point where I feel comfortable trying to yet quite frankly, like between the do I clean him up? out of her or clean him off from her? I think maybe I go that route first. Oh, okay.

Leyna 21:35
I don't know why it's less fattening.

Guest 21:37
There you go. There you go. Yeah, I have to watch the calories I'm you know, cruising towards 40 Which again, is why I don't even attempt anymore because I pull calf muscles just getting out of bed. I'm not going to try. It ain't worth it.

Leyna 21:50
Oh, hold on. Okay, let me go back. So you were able to perform oral sex on yourself. Did you do it often?

Guest 21:56
I only did it a couple of times. Mostly because it wasn’t easy. Things were like I think that if if I were, you know, maybe a little bit more endowed, I'm about six inches. So if I was like seven, seven and a half, you know, and it was a little bit easier, and I wasn't having to like struggle for the breath. While I'm folded over again. I'm not going to be in Cirque du Soleil anytime soon. They're not knocking down my door.

Leyna 22:24
Okay, so your if you were a little more flexible, you would have done it more.

Guest 22:27
It wouldn't be too hard to get me out of my room probably.

Leyna 22:31
Okay, all right. So you're you're not quite there to the cleanup yet. You do enjoy a little bit of humiliation. Verbal, verbal humiliation. And again, just from talking to different people. I think that's that's part of the giving up some of what you have in your vanilla life, right like always being in control. Like no one's going to tell you what to do. But inside the bedroom is kind of a turn on for you know, for someone to humiliate or degrade you because in your normal life that doesn't happen. 

Guest 23:04
It is does and and I think that's where we're all sometimes have some difficulty right is I'll still have some of that creep, where I'll be like, Ah, okay, maybe I need to take the control back. I have a hard time learning to let go. And so when my wife who's not actually dominant, but when she surprises me with something out of the blue that really hits that I don't even try to take back control I’m like “Oh daaamn ok” we can do this and and when those things happen, it actually does help with the acceptance more and more, right? We're incremental just because we want to make sure that we don't go balls to the wall and things blow up because I'll be honest, I have seen people in the community who get it's like, it's like the little puppy that just so excited because all these new things around bark bark bark bark bark and the minute that you are running around, that's when the car hits, you know, and I feel like that's sometimes I see people who are like, I'm gonna go fuck this person, and fuck this person oh my god, this is so exciting. And then you know, you may see somebody who's about three or four people in a weekend. On a vacation and the husband's like, Oh, this is how this feels. I don't like this one bit. I feel completely left out. And I think that when you go zero to 100 right away, you don't give yourself an opportunity to check in about the little things. And then those little things that you're not talking about them can grow and grow and grow to where these relationships can blow up. Right? It does take both people communicating their desires and their concerns equally openly. Honestly,

Leyna 24:39
when did you find out that you guys are polyamorous? I mean, it started off as a sexual thing, right? Some turn on some fetishes, maybe but like when did this Polly thing come up?

Guest 24:48
I told her that poly was not a thing that I was interested in. We were not going down that path. And as the phrase goes, you want to make God laugh. Tell him your plan. Right. And I think there was a little bit of naïveté there that I could say that and she could be seeing this man on a regular basis, you know, feel the way that she does with them on a regular basis and not develop feelings. And so I kind of called her out on it. Just one day during conversation like, Do you love him? And are we are we dealing with feelings now? I think she was hesitant to to confirm it, but but she did because again, you know we're we're trying to be open and honest with it. And I kind of accepted that. It helps that this this man is one of the most incredible human beings I've ever met. He is generous to a fault. Kind, conscientious. I've never had a crossword with him in two years. The man has literally dropped me off at six in the morning and picked me up at 11 o'clock at night from the airport from work trips, like there there is definitely an ease of moving into this realm when the partner is somebody were like, okay, he's treating her well. She's getting what she's getting out of it. For me, the issue has been I would like to make sure that when it's our time, it's our time, right. I want to make sure that I'm feeling like I'm a part of it. It's a lot of I words that I'm using right now, right? Which isn't great. But that kind of shows you where I been coming from is trying to take myself out of the equation a little bit more and remember that okay, if we're going to go this Poly route, there are things that are there's hers with him that that are not going to be shared with me and I have to recognize that doesn't necessarily mean anything against me right? I've got three kids I like playing one game with one kid and and you know, maybe kicking a ball with the other

Leyna 26:43
You don't love them any less. 

Guest 26:45
Exactly. It's just different things. So that's I'm still trying to get there but but he has made this transition to to Poly a lot easier. Now for me, I have had a difficult time. It's not just the pickiness, but when we were first dating, I have an acting background and a lot of the roles that I got out of mostly theater, a lot of the roles that I got were romantic male leads, I you know, the whole tall, dark and handsome kind of thing which I don't see but people are sort of told me. So there was some difficulty stemming from that because it gives them some self consciousness and some self esteem issues from you know, watching me make out with people on stage. She was a much shyer person then and so even though she has told me you want to go date, go date, you know, you find somebody like cool, whatever. There is still a bit in the back of my head that says if I do that, I'm going to hurt her. And that's not fair to her. Because she has told me several times, this is okay. You can do this if you want. And I'm just such a cautious person by nature. I'm risk averse. She is more important than me finding some secondary partner. When I truly feel like we are 100% in the groove, you know, maybe it'll be something I see again, but I need to make sure that we are as solid as possible in this situation before I go looking for something, if that ever happens.

Leyna 28:10
So, let me ask you this. You know, for a person who's very confident and secure, you normally don't feel a lot of jealousy, right? So do you ever find that the jealousy turns you on?

Guest 28:22
Absolutely. Which sets you up for the biggest fucking crash and fall imaginable if you are not prepared? And so there actually been times where like, one of the activities that we do because she's fucking him a lot more than she's fucking me these days. I'm fine with that. She and I will watch videos of her and him together in a room and I'll be jerking off and we'll be talking about them. And there have been times where I have broke some more emotional stuff like have you told him you love him while your fucking him and like you know, those little kinds of tidbits, and they get you going in the moment, but I've always heard that this is much worse for men than it is for women, but it's almost the exact second after you have finished pulsing. It's like what have I done? This is just horrible. You know you the anguish the self hate the self loathing, you know, goes away after a minute or two, but that first minute or two, you have to really be prepared. That's why the aftercare is so important, right? Making sure that when I'm done and you know, whatever, I love you, you know, we're okay a couple times. She's even said yep, everything that we were just talking about was was just role play just fantasy. And that helps protect my psyche a little bit more as we do a little bit more things right. I started this off saying no Poly and just text people. And now we're at a point where she's had a boyfriend for a year and she's fucking him two or  three times a week and you know, I allow for the fact that I will probably get to a point where it doesn't necessarily even need to be stated. Because it won't matter to me. I won't have all my self esteem self conscious of whatever tied into it. That is my goal is that's my hope.

Leyna 30:09
So you know you were talking about how that that feeling of jealousy like turns you on and then you know, after it's all over that it's oh my god. Does it ever come up again, like later, like outside the bedroom? You know, like you're having dinner, and then you're thinking back oh my god, she she tells them she loves them while they're having sex. You know, does it ever come back?

Guest 30:29
That's a good question. It I would say that. Anything sexual is easy for me now. It's second nature is when it does come to those poly things and sets about a year for like a year removed from the beginning of it. That that can be difficult and they're weird things like if they are out eating she I love her she'll bring back food for me if I asked for whatever restaurant they're at, and a couple of times it just hit me as weird as like okay, yeah, I'm just gonna sit here at the dinner table and eat my meal while you guys already had your time. And again, I need to remember well, that is their time together. Right and I can't I can't be douchey about it like that. I try and be as self aware, a person as humanly possible. I know I'm not perfect. I cop to all of my flaws. If I'm wrong, I'll say I'm wrong. And I'll apologize and I'll try and get better. I thank God for that in this space, because if I didn't have that level of self awareness, I'm pretty sure that my self esteem would be destroyed by now.

Leyna 31:34
You can find Scott on Twitter. He's @geekycuckold. The next in our threesome of shows for cuck week. Goddess Ania prefers bulls who know their stuff and she's willing to share your recommending like bulls. 

Guest 31:55
Oh, absolutely, absolutely yeah, we really want to share good experiences and not be not be selfish about those.

Leyna 32:03
That’s next time on consenting adults