My wife and I love your podcast. I’ve had an interest in the lifestyle for many many years and a couple of months ago my wife told me she’s bi-curious and with the help of liquid courage would be open to experimenting. But for some reason after listening to your last podcast she’s done a complete 180. Do you have any advice on how I can redirect her back to dipping our toes into the lifestyle?
I'm sorry to hear this--but maybe it's a good "flag" that will get you to try and figure out what her concerns are? The episode you're referring to, Ep 61 "Your Husband Did WHAT?!" which I've included below was probably one of the most explicit episodes we've ever had...so it doesn't surprise me too much. Since it deals a lot with a bisexual man, maybe she's concerned you'll "go there?" Sounds like there are many conversations to be had! Please read on to see what our listeners had to say about your situation.
From Twitter @berrybl54679793
As exciting as it is to have your wife say she wants to play in some way, and then disappointingly changes her mind, the best thing to do is not push her to change back, but have discussions as to why and why not, and how that may look if you did. Sometimes it’s just fantasy…
From Twitter @michelle_tom
Going to a club with the understanding that they won’t play with anybody. That experience and seeing how un-threatening it is would likely put her more at ease. Your previous podcast was not our cup of tea and likely won’t b seen it in a club as it’s not fully accepted yet.
From Twitter @MMrsdiamond
I see a couple of communication red flags in the question TBH… “For some reason … did a 180” and “how can I redirect her…”. You don’t know why she’s reluctant and still want to push? Not good… If you try this on a shaky foundation or for the wrong reasons, it’ll bite!
From Twitter @life_of_eros
This isn’t uncommon. For many the path to CNM isn’t an expressway. It takes time and patience and loving support. It’s fine to get scared. Talking about those fears often releases their power over us.
From Twitter @realtalksophia
I would tell him all he can do is just keep communicating with her. It can be difficult to fully express oneself and it can take time.
From Twitter @Naughtgym
Whoa, tough. A suggestion could be to look for other stories mirroring his wife's trepidations. Find an interview or blog post where someone expressed all the same fears only to have them dissolve away after their first CNM experience. Relatability is key.
The advice given comes from people's personal experiences, and while some may have certifications or other training, none of the content should be considered medical or otherwise professional advice. This page is for your reading pleasure and should be considered for entertainment purposes only. Questions can be submitted via our contact page or social media. Feel free to comment if you have advice.