Do you have a reading recommendation to convince my boyfriend to be a cuck? He actually started this. He asked me to start a Tinder and watched me chat with some men. Then he chose the one for me to go on a date with. But on that particular date, he chickened out and forbid me to go. I thought he needed some convincing so I went anyway. He got mad as hell. I think I made a mistake, I'd be grateful for any advice.
We got a lot of different responses to your question on social media. They seem very different in opinion and a lot of it seems to depend on who it came from. There are cucks who responded and also people in the lifestyle in general who have sage advice for anyone delving into non-monogamy. I hope these responses will provide some needed insight for you. Please do keep us updated on what happens.
From Twitter @JonnyAce, a gender, sexuality, and relationship minority life & mindset coach
For the woman with the potential cuckold relationship. From the information given, I would recommend a lot of talking between the two ppl before attempting another date outside of the relationship. Not just about the physical actions of cucking, but also each other’s emotional wants and needs surrounding having a cuckold relationship, to see if those wants and needs mesh well together.
From Twitter @Singlecuck69
She didn’t screw up. He just got cold feet at the last minute. She should press the issue. He wants her to cuck him. He just got nervous.
From Twitter @CuckoldressS
I am a Cuckoldress and I have been in a cuckolding relationship dynamic with my fiancé for nearly 4 years. Based on the limited information you provided, it sounds as though your boyfriend brought up the idea of cuckolding to you and encouraged you to pursue sex with other men only to “change his mind” during that process. I understand this may be confusing for you. I can provide you with some insight from my experiences.
You cannot “convince” your boyfriend to be a cuckold. I believe that cuckolding desires are an innate neosexual orientation, either he has these desires or he doesn’t. It sounds as though your boyfriend does have some level of cuckold desire. A lot of men with these desires experience a great deal of shame because of the stigma attached to cuckolding. These feelings of shame lead to vacillation in their desires, for example one day he may be intensely aroused by the thought of you cuckolding him and the next day he may angrily reject the notion of that ever happening. This pattern of behavior is extremely common.
With that in mind, it is important to let your boyfriend know that he has agency in this new sexual endeavor. It’s important to be responsive and reassuring when he is experiencing a vacillation. Going out with another man without his consent was likely not be helpful as it may have deepened the shame/ambivalence he was feeling-which he expressed as anger.
It’s extremely important to put any play dates on hiatus at this time and re-double your communication efforts with your boyfriend. I would highly recommend hiring a kink-aware relationship counselor to assist you both as you make progress towards the goals in your relationship. As a Cuckoldress, there is a tremendous responsibility to help your Cuck feel feel safe, wanted, and secure. Best of luck to you.
From Twitter @MistressKye:
I think I can help. In my line of work I see this a great deal where men love to indulge in their fantasies, often in big ways, but transitioning it to reality is often a misfire or backfire. That's because the fantasy in our heads is significantly more powerful than reality. Men are especially prone to this regarding any type of fetish or kink. This gentleman was fortunate to be able to engage in his fantasy w/ his GF. The tinder profile, the checking out potential dates, etc. But as I often see, when it comes down to the reality, it imploded. Cuckolding fantasies often backfire on men because they can't control their impulsivity where their fantasies are concerned. And, she should not be attempting to force anything at this point. His consent has clearly been revoked so it's a moot point. She needs to understand that he was likely just indulging, quite heavily, in his fantasy and isn't ready to make it a reality. He may never be. I could go on, but the gist of it is she participated, potentially unknowingly, in him indulging and his fantasies and that's all it may ever be. I'm happy to help if she has any questions :-)
From Twitter @onedepressedmf
She should try getting him in chasity first, it will train him to obey her and put her needs before his own. Put him in chastity and starve him of sex. He'll get used to it lol and then it will be pleasurable. Being a cuck is humiliating so he has to get used to it.
From Twitter @seancuck007
That’s a porn fantasy and not practical in real life. A proper cuckold relationship must be based on communication, trust and respect. You can’t“force” someone to do chastity. It’ll lead to resentment and anger. That couple needs time and deep conversation about fears and anxiety.
From Twitter @JohnLegendary_
I would first ask her why does she want him to be a cuck. How does it make her feel? What benefits does he gain from being her cuck? Are there certain aspects typically enjoyed by cucks that they enjoy? Of course there is a fluidity on the cuckold spectrum that interlocks with stag/vixen hotwifing, so I’d be interested in what he enjoys and what his needs are. I was vetting a potential cuckold couple for fit recently and I was asking them these very questions. Does he not like her holding the sexual power in this dynamic? Typically cuckolding is an evolution from hotwifing, so I would start there to ease into it and have discussions on what they both liked and was perhaps uncomfortable with after every play date. Communication is the most important thing in these dynamics. Cucks are very courageous and strong, so he needs to feel confident to take that next step. - Caleb King
From Twitter @Hotwife463
It’s going to take time to rebuild that trust. #ENM relationship should be based on communication & trust as a foundation. It sounds like both parties need to work on that before they attempt to bring others in. “Chickened out” “forbid.” Those are not words of mutual respect. Ignoring his concerns & doing it anyway isn’t the best way to foster trust in the relationship. They need to talk about why he wants this, what his insecurities are, & also establish boundaries for each other. I wish them well. This lifestyle isn’t for everyone. #CuckoldingIsLove
From Twitter @Evoluti23721984
I know how this goes. He will be upset, and also more turned on than he ever imagined. It’s a hard paradigm to understand and takes a lot to break through societal norms to accept the desire. Your show is absolutely helping people.
The advice given comes from people's personal experiences, and while some may have certifications or other training, none of the content should be considered medical or otherwise professional advice. This page is for your reading pleasure and should be considered for entertainment purposes only. Questions can be submitted via our contact page or social media. Feel free to comment if you have advice.