My wife and I love your podcast. I’ve had an interest in the lifestyle for many many years and a couple of months ago my wife told me she’s bi-curious and with the help of liquid courage would be open to experimenting. But for some reason after listening to your last podcast she’s done a complete 180. Do you have any advice on how I can redirect her back to dipping our toes into the lifestyle?
I'm sorry to hear this--but maybe it's a good "flag" that will get you to try and figure out what her concerns are? The episode you're referring to, Ep 61 "Your Husband Did WHAT?!" which I've included below was probably one of the most explicit episodes we've ever had...so it doesn't surprise me too much. Since it deals a lot with a bisexual man, maybe she's concerned you'll "go there?" Sounds like there are many conversations to be had! Please read on to see what our listeners had to say about your situation.
From Twitter @berrybl54679793
As exciting as it is to have your wife say she wants to play in some way, and then disappointingly changes her mind, the best thing to do is not push her to change back, but have discussions as to why and why not, and how that may look if you did. Sometimes it’s just fantasy…
My wife and I have really enjoyed your podcasts. I’m pretty sure we have been listening since day 1 when the first couple was looking to adopt a pet and found a sex club and joined the lifestyle! That was hilarious. Since then there have been many hot topics. Anyway, I’m writing because I was hoping to get some input into something. My wife and I are still relative newbies in the lifestyle. We started with girl girl soft swap, to foursome soft swaps, to full swap. Recently we had an experience with a single male where we ended up “crossing swords” There was touching, fondling and eventually I gave him a blow job. In a million years I never would have bet that could ever happen. But it did, and I actually enjoyed it. I’ve always been straight. I didn’t know what that meant. My wife found it to be a huge turn on to watch, but I don’t know what to think. I don’t think this makes me bi, or gay, it was just an act during a hot sex session. I don’t find men attractive, I don’t have any emotional ties to what went down (pun intended), to me it was all in fun, a chance to push some boundaries. So in the lifestyle you are basically required to label your sexual preferences. I need some input here. Does giving another man oral once make me “bisexual”, “bi-comfortable” “Gay” or “Open minded”? Would I do it again? I think if the energy was there like it was that night I would. And is it weird I would consider putting a cock in my mouth, but the thought of kissing another man on the lips is a no go? Someone help me sort this out.
Thanks Leyna ,
Richard from Rancho Cucamonga
I've had a lot of conversation with guests on this very subject lately and the responses cover the spectrum. Gary from epidsode 30, who is bisexual seems to think people who participate in bisexuality but don't identify as such are just uncomfortable with the label but are indeed bi. But then there are guests who say they enjoy the activity IN THE MOMENT if the situation is just right--but they don't feel bisexual. And while some people are fine not having to categorize it, there are people who struggle with it and to them--it IS important to put a label on it. Read on to see some of the responses we got to your question on Twitter.
From Twitter @hotwife463
This is extremely common! @castawaySOS has coined the term #cocksexual as a way to describe men who are comfortable w/some aspects bi-play. I think the majority of people have some fluidity to their sexuality. Most women are okay exploring above the waist/most guys are ok below.
From Twitter @the_hopefulcuck
I tell people that I’m bisexual, but hetero-romantic. I can have sex with anyone. I can only fall in love with women.
Do you have a reading recommendation to convince my boyfriend to be a cuck? He actually started this. He asked me to start a Tinder and watched me chat with some men. Then he chose the one for me to go on a date with. But on that particular date, he chickened out and forbid me to go. I thought he needed some convincing so I went anyway. He got mad as hell. I think I made a mistake, I'd be grateful for any advice.
We got a lot of different responses to your question on social media. They seem very different in opinion and a lot of it seems to depend on who it came from. There are cucks who responded and also people in the lifestyle in general who have sage advice for anyone delving into non-monogamy. I hope these responses will provide some needed insight for you. Please do keep us updated on what happens.
From Twitter @JonnyAce, a gender, sexuality, and relationship minority life & mindset coach
For the woman with the potential cuckold relationship. From the information given, I would recommend a lot of talking between the two ppl before attempting another date outside of the relationship. Not just about the physical actions of cucking, but also each other’s emotional wants and needs surrounding having a cuckold relationship, to see if those wants and needs mesh well together.
From Twitter @Singlecuck69
She didn’t screw up. He just got cold feet at the last minute. She should press the issue. He wants her to cuck him. He just got nervous.
I love your podcast - my gf and I had been dabbling our toes in the lifestyle more and more and found your show to be so informative.
I have a question though, after a great 5 year relationship, I'm sad to say that we've finally broken up. After that, I find myself wanting to start a relationship again with someone likeminded about the lifestyle.
However, now that I am again a single guy, I'm not sure what is the best way to find non-judgmental potential partners who have an interest in the lifestyle. Dating sites are a time sucking nightmare and recipe for instant judgement. I can't get into the lifestyle clubs I went to before now that I am a single male. I've also recently moved to Hawaii from OC, and I don't think such clubs even exist here.
With all the people you have met in your shows, has this topic ever come up? Any advice on where to look for a like-minded partner?
Thanks again for all the great material!
Dear Single in Hawaii,
From everything I'm hearing, single males get a lot of "action" in the lifestyle and find people (or people find them) on the LS dating websites. I'm not sure how many single women are on there looking for single men to date though. Perhaps my listeners can weigh in. If you're just looking for playdates, LS websites seem to work well, and some have had success on "regular" dating sites with just being honest in your profile. It's clear that "the conversation" must be had at some point as transparency is always key in any relationship. Here's what our social media followers have said in response to your question, and hopefully more will comment below.
The advice given comes from people's personal experiences, and while some may have certifications or other training, none of the content should be considered medical or otherwise professional advice. This page is for your reading pleasure and should be considered for entertainment purposes only. Questions can be submitted via our contact page or social media. Feel free to comment if you have advice.